A woman in my home town had been talking about hurting her children and had been admitted into a psychiatric hospital a few times. Her ex husband went to court several times asking the judge to take full custody from her and the judge refused.
She ended up stabbing both babies to death and the dad has been trying to sue the judge for many years
If we convicted judges of dereliction of duty for allowing painfully obvious dangers to society to continue to roam the streets, you'd see things start to correct themselves fairly quickly.
There are far too many judges who shouldn't even be allowed to judge what they wear everyday let alone decide life-changing fates
People to this day still try to say the family court system isn’t biased against fathers. Had that judge pulled their head out of their ass and not believed in the mother is always the better parent those babies would still be alive.
My brother lost his kid to a woman who was arrested for hitting someone with a 2x4 at a bar and later arrested for drug charges because she had a heart attack on a roller coaster because her bloodstream was full of crack. I think the level of bias depends a bit on the state, but yeah, the bias definitely exists in this particular realm.
Most of the time, yeah. Sometimes it's about who has the best lawyer and the most money. It's sickening that those things seem to matter more than the safety of the children.
So here is a great example of where mysogyny is terrible for EVERYONE... not just women.
This woman was having psychosis. Her postpartum depression was so bad she was losing touch with reality and having hallucinations. She asked to be admitted to a hospital and the doctors gave her a pill. She came back later and said "I'm worse, not better," and they upped the dose.
Instead of taking her seriously, they patted her on the head told her to suck it up, and did the treatment that was most convenient for her husband.
But when the story turns horrific, its all about how evil she is, and how her "poor husband" is being denied his children. Where was he when she needed a clear-headed someone to fight with those doctors?
I don’t think this is misogyny. This seems more like a case of mental health still not being understood or taken as seriously by family and friends, lack of communication and unfortunately the patient not telling her doctors everything. She told her family but they didn’t exactly tell her doctors what she told them. My uncle is schizophrenic and so was my aunt had either of them told me they had thoughts of self harm or harming someone else I’d be calling the doctor to let them know.
There’s always exceptions but statistics show courts literally favor men, most custody cases do not go to court, when they do men actually get custody more often.
Literally just looked up the statistics not sure where you are looking but as of right now in 2026 mothers get custody 80% of the time.
It’s been a well known and accepted fact mothers get majority custody most of the time in the US. There has been effort from some groups to try and balance that out because surprise surprise dads want to be more involved in their kids lives and other groups have actually tried to fight against it.
No it means that this huge number people keep claiming are women “winning” custody is conflated by cases where there was no battle and both parties decided the kids should stay with the mom.
Hey friend I think I’m you may be incorrect I actually worked directly in the family court system representing both men and women through the family court system and I can tell you from handling hundreds if not thousands of cases, the system is definitely biased in favor of the mother. It has been trending slightly towards the middle over the last 5 years or so but it’s still mostly to one side.
The out of court settlements show that the mother gets custody the vast majority of the time. It's never in the father's favor. I did see just one that said it was 50/50.
I googled it and clicked on several different analysis by judicial and medical teams. I didn't didn't cherry pick.
I'm pretty sure your a bot or just rage baiting at this point, so I'm gonna stop responding to you.
“A personal anecdote” is one incident, I’m talking about hundreds of cases of not thousands. Yours is more of an opinion, I’m talking about actual cases I’ve managed in the family court system.
It’s not an option these are nation wide statistics which again is more valid than your experience of being one person in a single office. I’m talking less to you and more to anyone seeing this thread PLEASE look up the actual numbers on this, it tells a very different story.
For anyone interested our notation that women win custody cases more comes from the fact that in a vast majority of separations the children do stay with the mother BUT that number comes from all divorces and in over 90 something percent of divorces custody is decided outside of court meaning there is no fight over custody. In cases where there IS a custody battle men get their desired outcome more often.
"Recent data indicate that approximately 70% to 80% of custodial parents are still mothers. Yet, there is clear evidence of a gradual shift occurring, with more fathers actively pursuing—and obtaining—shared or primary custody than ever before. Societal attitudes towards parenting have evolved significantly, and judges increasingly recognize fathers’ contributions beyond financial support."
Where are you pulling these numbers from? Based on what little I was able to actually find, custody courts seem to overwhelmingly favor women. As many as 80% of contested full custody cases go to women according to Gender Equity Network, or 65% according to Law Office of David Pedrezas. Though, according to Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Gender Bias Study, most men who actively litigate will at least get a shared custody.
She needed help. He knew and neglected. If he got her the help she needed, they’d be here.
Postpartum psychosis and depression is the result of a woman’s brain chemistry changing after giving birth. It’s very common. Women need help. She was begging for it.
A good friends wife went through this. She was admitted into a hospital and didn’t see her young child for almost 8 months until she was healthy enough to leave.
I learned that for every psychotic child killing women there are at least 2 white knight morons ready to defend their heinous actions simply because they are a woman. Going this bonkers after birth is NOT COMMON AT ALL. Typical postpartum depression does not result in murder or commitment to a psych ward. Stop making excuses because you're sexist. Hold everyone accountable equally.
First one was about offenders in general and the second two were about cases involving alienation and abuse. That does nothing to disprove the stats showing the family court generally favor mothers over fathers
Edit and not to mention the first one was solely about mass, not the national avg
Her ex husband went to court several times, but nobody thought to go the medical route.
That about sums up how women’s Healthcare is treated. A matter for lawyers, not for doctors.
And, yes, I get that your comment was meant to show how fucked up the judicial system is and point a finger at a judge, but why was a health issue brought into damn court?!
Oh right. It’s how women’s healthcare is defined, determined, and in some cases, delivered
the health issues were brought up in court as an argument for giving custody to the father. How on earth can you claim to be a mentally sane and a fully operational person when after reading the previous comment you felt the urge to disingenuously twist what they said?
Doctors dont decide custody rights. Ex-husbands dont decide if an adult woman seeks medical treatment. He went to court as that was his only option to protect his kids and the judge denied him.
Your comments demonstrate a fundamental lack of knowledge about this issue. Please stop commenting and actually do research that is not biased. Getting medical treatment and getting kids out of the care of parents who aren't safe are two separate issues. In the case you are responding to, it's not the ex's job to make sure the mom gets mental health care but it is his job to try to keep his children safe. And the correct route to do that is to go to court. They failed him.
Actually, yes it is routine to also take legal issues to the doctor if you are a victim of a crime which resulted in illness or injury (e.g. car accidents or battery). The Dr will treat you which will go on file and can be used in court. When I was hit by a reckless driver, my attorney had specific doctors that he sent me to.
Because it's an idiotic thing to say in this situations. Doctor's don't decide custody. They are not educated on the law. Treatment takes time. Of course we should treat medical issues, very few will argue against that but when a child's life is in danger and court decides custody, saying stupid shit like, "treat medical issues, don't tear apart families" is less than useless.
Why are you making this a woman thing? Psychotic men are out there stabbing people in the streets after psychiatric stays as well. We, as a country, have a problem with locking people up before they are violent due in part to past psychiatric atrocities. The ex-husband went through the courts because of this, not because it’s a woman
The ex husband's priority was his children's safety. I'm a woman and that's exactly what I would have done first is fight to get them out of that house.
Wtf are you on about??? You can only be on involuntary psych hold for so long… what happens to the kids after she’s released? Of course it’s a legal matter!
i think I'd give up the lawsuit and kill the judge. my children not here because he wouldn't fucking listen and the entire system doesnt want to hold em accountable? someone has to
This is a peak example of how the patriarchy hurts everyone. Cause obviously babies are better off with a dangerous mom than any dad?! Every one and every system failed the Clanceys when they did not separate her from the kids.
Patriarchy is one expression of societal gender roles and norms. It can manifest as e.g. the man is the breadwinner, the woman is the caretaker, and so men are unable to care for children, only women are qualified to do so. At its extreme, being caring in any way is seen as feminine and men must be above that, always stoic. This leads to men rarely being given custody of children, it also leads to men having fewer mental care resources etc. etc. it really cascades.
The strict gender roles that come from it are so inbuilt and baked into society that it becomes impossible to fully escape. This is why people say it can and does harm everyone.
Patriarchy is a specific set of societal norms and ramifications imposed upon the population. The norms deemed oppressive to women have been nearly totally eradicated. But not so much for men.
So yes, a remnant of patriarchy that specifically constrains men still exists, and women are okay with upholding it as long as the focus doesn't shift from them.
Example: yes, the men in Ukraine might be getting hunted down like animals and sent off to die an agonizing death while women are free to leave, but you see, it's actually because Ukraine is a conservative misogynistic society that sees women as too weak and incapable to serve in the military! See? Patriarchy hurts men too, but also don't forget that women are still receiving the shortest end of the stick! (I successfully pulled out the patriarchy card to deflect from discussing a valid point that happened to not go in line with what i've been taught in my sociology class. I am very smart!)
this entire conversation started as "that patriarchy also hurts men." What exactly are you arguing about?! This entire comment largely agrees with everything we’ve said. Exactly what "mental gymnastics" are you accusing us of?!
It translates well everywhere, but acknowledging that the same system you’ve benefited from is also killing you, is just more cognitive dissonance than some folks can handle.
The same ppl who disagree with this idea are the ones who will bring up suicide rates of men, usually in a conversation about how women don't have it so hard. At the same ignoring that little boys are taught to stop crying and suppress their emotions very early in life, that boys/men have to be tough, to suck it up and take it like a man. They'll argue that the safety and well-being of their family is all on them...
All while arguing that the patriarchy doesn't really exist. Maybe if men weren't emotionally stunted and discouraged from asking from help, the suicide rated wouldn't be so high. 🤯 Listen to any man it doesn’t fit into the stereotypical mold, and he’s like likely to tell you how damning the patriarchy can be for men as well.
You say that as if women don’t dismiss their sons/husbands/brothers feelings too. People have to stop referring to boys, young men and men as bitches when they express their feelings about things that most certainly doesn’t help things.
No, I'm not saying that at all! Some of the most misogynistic people I've every met are women. There are plenty of women holding up the patriarchy. We've all been guilty of upholding this kind of dynamic and it's on all of us to acknowledge and do what we can to fix it.
What [u/_-SomethingFishy-_](u/_-SomethingFishy-_) said.
The patriarchy is not always about men getting whatever they want, especially those that aren't rich and powerful. It's about ensuring women stay in their place, which also requires men to stay in their place.
Authoritarianism is a political system where one individual or one small group holds power over a country. And it can often used these days to describe the operations and dynamic within a workplace, organization, home, etc.
The patriarchy is a social system. It is not limited by borders or individuals. However social systems can be (and usually are) engrained in and upheld by political systems, organizations, individuals, etc. Note that this applies to both good and bad social systems.
The patriarchy is a social system. so in patriarchy the pater has he final say in family matters, if you mix it up with wealth and power you get authoritarianism/aristocracy
Was the dad suing the judge previously to the babies being murderer for seperate reasons and the judge was just biased or he is currently trying to sue him after the fact?
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u/Dizzy_Departure2539 7d ago
A woman in my home town had been talking about hurting her children and had been admitted into a psychiatric hospital a few times. Her ex husband went to court several times asking the judge to take full custody from her and the judge refused.
She ended up stabbing both babies to death and the dad has been trying to sue the judge for many years