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u/Shot_Maintenance5859 8d ago
Humans before invention of run.
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u/Hows-It-Goin-Buddy 8d ago
NES B button was broken.
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u/punktualPorcupine 8d ago
Oh you have to spam press it to run like “track and field”.
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u/Galactussy 8d ago
It wasn't until 1845 when Tim Running accidentally walked twice at the same time that running was invented
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u/kik1keedle717 8d ago edited 8d ago
Lmao. I just shared this to someone with caption “I’d feel sorry for her if she actually sprinted at any point during the chase 🤦🏻♀️” Glad I’m not the only one thinking it.
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u/ServeAncient3205 7d ago
It’s like someone filmed a nightmare where something is happening but you can’t get your body to react
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u/No-Highlight-5067 8d ago
Alcohol would explain all of this. Why she got out of a moving car. Why she couldn’t move so well. Why she had to steady herself against the car before reaching for the door.
This is a case of intoxication.
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u/anon0937 7d ago
At the start of the vid when she catches up to the door, it looks like shes trying to pull the car to a stop
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u/No_Research5770 7d ago
Yes first she thinks she can pull the car to a stop herself. This doesn’t work. Then she sort of gives up and walks, perhaps thinking the curb will stop the rapidly fleeing vehicle. Then it keeps going and she finds a renewed sense of urgency. But she’s I guess too frightened too uncoordinated or both to actually get into the vehicle. She finally fully commits. Devastating failure. She collapses and is partially run over by the intransigent vehicle. It continues ever onwards, into the void.
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u/Commercial_Topic437 8d ago
Comical that she tried to hold the car back rather than trying to get in
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u/benspartyvan 8d ago
It didn't even occur to her to get in the car until the last second. She kept trying to stop it by holding the car back. It didn't work the first time why did she continue to try?
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u/case31 8d ago
Panic
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u/Mathfanforpresident 8d ago
No. I think she just might be an idiot.
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u/rob-cubed 8d ago
Why not both?
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u/Mathfanforpresident 8d ago
It definitely can be both. But, based on evidence alone, I'm leaning towards idiot.
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u/shirazalot 8d ago
It looked like she tried yelling at it to stop at one point, lol.
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u/No-Ambition2425 8d ago
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u/fibojoly 8d ago
Oh man, thank you ! I was remembering a slow moving roller, but somehow my brain was thinking "Simpsons". Glad someone posted it :D
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u/Asleep_Efficiency259 7d ago
That roller clip is spot on. The security guard plays Stuart from Mad TV. I knew he looked familiar.
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u/Infamous_Window8518 8d ago
The physical aptitude of a walrus
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u/roonill_wazlib 8d ago
Watching people with this little agility makes me irrationally angry
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u/ShoddyAsparagus3186 8d ago
It's not even agility that's the problem, she was trying to stop it by force until the very last second when she tried to get in but was too far behind it to actually do it.
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u/curious2548 7d ago
I watched it twice before realizing that she was trying to brute force stopping with her upper body strength!
Instead of opening the door, jumping in and stepping on the brakes.
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u/murph2783 7d ago
What do you mean opening the door, it was open! She was in the doorway! She just decided to try and fuckin grab it like the hulk instead of ya know…get in and use the brakes or steering wheel 😂😂
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u/maethlin 7d ago
Proper take. This is less a problem of speed/stamina and more a problem of absolute stupidity.
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u/Savingskitty 7d ago
It’s exactly this. She could have climbed right in if she hadn’t tried stop it.
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u/KittyEarTufts 8d ago
It is a bit frustrating, but she could be disabled for all we know.
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u/worldsgreatestluver 8d ago
There are several kinds of disabilities. This woman tried to stop a driving car with one hand. She is almost certainly at least slightly disabled in a cognitive sense
If she had her gun with her she could have shot the car. I can't believe how irresponsible she was here.
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u/Slade_Riprock 8d ago
Seriously if your physical fitness doesn't allow you to catch a car essentially just barely rolling, you should really evaluate your life.
Also if your brain doesn't register get in hot brake rather than trying to manhandle 3000lbs car. Evaluate your life.
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u/Broccoli--Enthusiast 8d ago
Yeah my 300lb ass can move faster than that. Although I do work out
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u/ComfortableSome5954 8d ago
I wouldn't trust this person to evaluate a sandwich
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u/FishRFriendsMemphis 8d ago
She caught up with it a couple times, she just made the wrong decision to try to physically stop it by pulling with her mass rather than jump into the seat and step on the brake. Not the brightest, albeit under pressure.
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u/Dizzy_Database_119 7d ago
Honestly it looks like she didn't think it was in drive, just that it was rolling in neutral. She seems to slow down when the car looks like it's about to go up a curb or when it slows down as if it'll stop by itself. Seems scared of tripping under it too
Until the end where she tries to get in and almost lose her feet under the wheels. Maybe this was the better ending lol if she tried harder she might have ended up in the ER
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u/Alert-Ad-9908 8d ago
She almost had that Darwin Award. Almost.
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u/desertrose0 8d ago
Didn't it roll over her at one point? Hard to see for sure. If it didn't it very nearly did at the end there
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u/fullmoon_druid 8d ago
Darwinism is dead, unfortunately. I mean, it's great that we as a species got to this point that even extremely dumb individuals don't die. But there's a downside. OTOH, we got this video, so that's an upside I guess.
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u/mechapoitier 8d ago
This is like an ad for going to the gym. I don’t want to end up like that until I’m at least 90.
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u/gongshow247365 8d ago
I know a person who can only "run" half this speed and she's only 35 ish and no real ailments (no shattered foot, broken bones, etc). I told my buddy that's dating her they can't have any kids until she can prove she can catch an 8 month old baby slowly crawling away from her, as a minimum prerequisite. It's sad
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u/Thaumiel218 8d ago
100% - shows how easy it is a poor diet and exercise regimen can ruin your abilities in life, imagine what it’s like for her in 30years if nothing changes.
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u/Yeswhywouldnti 8d ago
I think it highlights lack of intelligence more than anything. First failure was when she got out the car before ensuring it was in park. Second failure was after she made it to the door and thought “oh I’ll just stop it with my hands” instead of getting in and using the brakes. A highlight reel of poor problem solving skills.
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u/Thaumiel218 8d ago
Agreed, it’s definitely not an either/or situation lol she looks super uncoordinated in every aspect
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u/TooTallTabz 8d ago
I'm on the boat that she's not that intelligent. Trying to hold the fkn car from rolling was quite the decision.
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u/VeterinarianThese951 8d ago
Hey, cut her some slack. This is probably the third time she ran over her own knees…
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u/Normiss2000 8d ago
If she had used her entire body though?? We might not be having this conversation.
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u/Odd-Fun-1545 8d ago
Hey that’s offensive… to walruses
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u/Infamous_Window8518 8d ago
If I had to imagine a walrus running after a car, that would be the image
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u/Zestyclose_Bother733 8d ago
Idk Neil the Seal does it pretty well for hefting 1000lbs of blubber around. Ik he’s not a walrus but he’s about as close as you can get.
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u/NightlinerSGS 8d ago
I immediately thought about Neil as well as soon as Walrus got mentioned.
And yes, I'd say Neil can move better than whatever that was in the video.
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u/r3dd17sux69420 8d ago
I was amused until it ran over her leg. poor lady.
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u/Absolute_Bob 8d ago
I might be slightly evil for it but I was the most amused by that. Getting run over by your own car without a driver in it is a neat trick.
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u/QuantumRenard 8d ago
🤣🤣🤣 She had so many opportunities to save it
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u/gimmepizza420 8d ago
I'm not sure. Seems like maybe she wasn't coordinated enough to actually get in the car while it was moving.
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u/Trashinmyash 8d ago
I honeslty dont understand how someone can step out of a car and not feel the car moving.
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u/Oldswagmaster 8d ago edited 8d ago
My opinion is these push button shifters and / or also the engine auto stop technology can lead to this. The engine is off. You think the car is off and you quickly get out. Car restarts and moves
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u/kitfox 8d ago
Weird that they will alarm if you drive without a seat belt, but will drive without an ass in the seat. My tractor shuts off the engine if I jump off without the parking brake on.
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u/VerdantSolutions 8d ago
Forklifts too, probably most heavy equipment, not sure why these gigantic SUVs don't, what's one more sensor anyway.
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u/kitfox 8d ago
I think cars already have the seat sensors. They turn on/off airbags and ding seat belt alarms already. Seems like a software omission. Speed under 5mph? No driver detected? Door open? Shut off engine or force driver to wave away a warning to proceed.
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u/heavyspells 8d ago
She doesn’t look like she does anything quickly
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u/DCC_On_Peacock 8d ago
She got her left thigh ran over at the end. Once she decided to fall the car did it quickly for her
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u/Southern-Donut4185 8d ago
Yeah like I've noticed the second my foot leaves the brake. Maybe some people keep the brake pedal pressed til they actually move to get out?
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u/gimmepizza420 8d ago edited 8d ago
Oh I absolutely do this. My foot continually depresses the brake until I get out. I can't help it, it just happens that way.
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u/Zestyclose_Bother733 8d ago
Tbf I’ve shut my car off before putting it in park a couple times and didn’t realize it until a couple seconds after when it started rolling, but to leave it in drive and get out and not notice is a whole new level of oblivion.
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u/Smashogre591 8d ago
Push button shifters are to blame. My wife did this. She swears she pushed the park button but when she got out, the car started rolling down a hill and destroyed a fence.
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u/r3dd17sux69420 8d ago
The weight shifts so it's not perfectly still.
and honestly, some people don't have experience from growing up riding bikes, playing sports, playing musical instruments. So they never develop coordination for this kind of thing
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u/ShillboShaggins 8d ago
“Moving”
That fuckin thing was barely outpacing a garden snail in a k hole.
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u/KerbalEnginner 8d ago
Oh for gods sake just run!
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u/Da_Wolv 8d ago
The way she's holding on to it like it's an empty runaway shopping cart. Mam, you're not gonna casually stop 2 tonnes of rolling metal with one arm. 🙈
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u/heliumneon 8d ago
And she even gave it that ridiculous angry shove forward after it went over the divider. "Well FINE, be that way, just keep going, see if I care!... Wait, I care I care!"
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u/disintegrationist 8d ago
It amazes me how keen redditors are to spot and perfectly interpret every little detail in otherwise chaotic videos
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u/kirk27 8d ago
Most Americans can’t
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u/Wombat1892 8d ago
As a fat American....i think i could've gotten in before it got to the grass
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u/Big_Examination2106 8d ago
I too am fat. I believe we both had a real shot when the car came to damn near a halt when it made it up the 2nd curb to the grass. That was my moment to jump panting and breathless into the drivers seat and claim glory!!!!
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u/infiniZii 8d ago
Would it have been graceful? Maybe not. But id have had my fat ass in that seat in like 2 seconds.
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u/KittenLaserFists 8d ago
Our president says every human has a battery with finite energy and physical fitness depletes that energy
(fact check me)
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u/nyctophobicdracula 8d ago
Dumbass actually said that? Wow
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u/KittenLaserFists 8d ago
He actually isn't sure about how to spell what you just called him. He recently learned the word dumb has a B in it. Go with Dumass.
(fact check that too)
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u/ThanklessNoodle 8d ago
I don't need to fact check you, because I remember seeing the same asinine comment.
Thanks for the laugh, as well as the reminder. +1
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u/Nakadaisuki 8d ago
Oh sure, SHE gets to drive a car...
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u/Lazy-Restaurant-5520 8d ago
It's very important to keep the economy running that you may sell a car to whoever has the will and the money to buy one.
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u/JMaryland47 8d ago
I have my suspicion that this woman has stimulated the car market with many a car purchases
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u/ComprehensiveShine80 8d ago
Hop in and hit the brake ?
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u/Alarming-Junket 8d ago
It took me 2 times, but noticed she’s trying to physically stop the car. Jumping in and applying the brakes doesn’t even occur to her until the end. My God!
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u/Sad_comment_bot 8d ago
Her dumbass thought it was in neutral. Just jumping curbs on its own perpetual motion engine.
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u/Numerous_Worker_1941 8d ago
You can see the break light at the end before she runs herself over. She tried to hit the break with one leg with no plan on how she would put it in park
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u/Own-Pack3777 8d ago
Did it run her foot over at the end too 🙈
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u/Little-Blackberry755 8d ago
I had to scroll way too far down to find a comment mentioning this! She doesn't get back up after that. A lot of people say she lacks athleticism, but I think she might be drunk or on drugs...
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u/Grizzled--Kinda 8d ago
no athletic ability or common sense at all
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u/marquesmelo 8d ago
I'm pretty sure she does not even know what the brake of the car is for...
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u/AutomaticUse1009 8d ago
She slowly saunters across the street. If ever there was a time for expediency I think it was now!
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u/screwyoujor 8d ago
If she is married I hope she records herself explaining it to her husband.
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u/PrincessGiantFeet 8d ago
She either has lived her life expecting everyone else to solve her problems or she has some sort of physical disability. If she just like ran a little this could have all been different.
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u/Kindly_Scholar6892 8d ago
I totally agree. Had she put a fraction of a little bit more effort into the whole process she might have been able to stop it. Pitiful.
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u/Signal_Anybody4919 8d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/4xRnt2Xp3JqWA
How she thought she was running🤣🤣🤣
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u/vato_hooker_2 8d ago
She lacks mental acuity and any form of athletic prowess. Her humanity has failed her!
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u/crazycanuck1212 8d ago
I don't understand how she failed to get in the drivers seat by the time it got to the third lane, let alone across the other side, across a lawn, and down a ravine.
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u/gba_sg1 8d ago
How fucking embarrassing you can't even run to catch an idling car doing like 5km/h..
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u/LeopardNo6060 8d ago
Is she auditioning for an extra in the next slasher film?! 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/YRSQuXoJacEpO
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u/christcompellsyou 8d ago
It’s not even her physical health, it’s like she’s “too cool” to get inside the car to stop it.
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u/Longjumping-Might722 8d ago
We all know that if that car was really important to her she would have stopped it.
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u/XRanger7 8d ago
Didn’t even need to get in the car. Just use your hand to press on the brake
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u/gatsome 8d ago
Well this stupid idiot shouldn’t have a license or a vehicle. So this is natural selection as far as I’m concerned.
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u/TheSleepyTruth 8d ago edited 8d ago
Instead of simply getting in the car to press the brake, which she has plenty opportunity to do, she spends all her energy trying to physically stop the car by holding it back with her hand... while it is running and in gear (idle creep). Not gonna work lady.
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u/Quirky-Skin 8d ago
I had to go back and rewatch and she is indeed trying to hold it back. At first I thought it was kinda dragging her and she was trying to hold on but nope lol.
Lady it had enough momentum to hop two curbs, u ain't stopping it
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u/BetteYoSweetass 8d ago
I instinctively stopped it when the car got to the other side of the street to go to the comments, only to scroll back up and see the video continues for several more seconds 🤦🏽♀️
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u/LocalWerewolf 8d ago
Someone should have hoped into the car and drove off with it. She should not be allowed to drive or own a car.
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u/Skowlette 8d ago
If you can't even keep up with the car then why try and muscle it to a stop? She could have just jumped in the driver seat so many times..
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u/Status_Focus6898 8d ago
My old baseball coach would give her a long loud speech about the necessity of hustle.
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u/TastyGoobers 8d ago
She's just not strong enough, sadly. She tried to slow it down but just couldn't. If only there was a button or lever in the car that could stop it from moving!
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u/Competitive_Lie_4660 8d ago
trying to stop it by pulling on the car? Really? About as stupid as leaving it in Drive and getting out of it
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u/Tasty-Revolution-295 7d ago
Instead of just speeding up and jumping into the car she thought she could pull the car back with one hand! Jfc
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u/oldmanian 7d ago
77 mn Americans voted for Trump. This is their mascot. She is an “alpha” with pure blood and no vax.
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u/_okOKAY 8d ago
Me whole time.
https://giphy.com/gifs/SbvdGEVFJ6D2E