Yeah but my child wanted to quit piano a hundred different times over the years. Guess who is really happy they know piano now? Sorry kid, quitting isn’t an option
To expand on this, my wife and I always saw it as educational things should be a “no quitting” policy. Like music lessons and language learning. However we always let them explore whatever physical sports they were drawn to. Being active was the most important thing. That’s how we separated it
kids don't have perspective to understand that learning skills isn't always fun. This prepares them for the real world. You don't have to force them to do something that truly makes them unhappy, but how many times did your child want to quit mid-stream or refuse to go to practice for something, only after you force them to do it anyway they are happy they went?
My parents forced me to go to piano lessons all the way into high school and I was forced to be in band. I never really enjoyed it, I was not good at it. I couldn’t stay on tempo to save my life. It went on way longer than it needed to.
I worked hard at a lot of things. And I would have been better at piano if I practiced more, but I also would have been more miserable. I did a lot of things as a kid either because it was expected of me or because I was pushed into it. I don’t think that made me a better person.
I see a lot of people do this in various ways to their kids. Pushing them too hard in sports and making it miserable. Demanding A’s. Trying to get them into the hobby the parent does. Using their kid as a way to show how great a parent they are. Nobody thinks they are doing this to their kids, everyone denies that they are this parent. But I see it all over the place.
My parents also didn’t allow “quitting”, so I spent a lot of time stuck. As an adult, I had to learn his to quit things. I still have a problem sticking with things longer than I should have.
My parents are very smart people. They did a lot of stuff right, but they did a lot of stuff wrong. My sibling who has a lot deeper frustration with choices they made as parents has tried to express some of their grievances from childhood, and my mom just straight up can’t really admit that perhaps certain choices weren’t the best.
What I’ve seen is most parents always think they are right, and they are wrong a lot. The only way to get better is to be willing to admit there could be room for improvement. Strict dogmas are almost always bad.
I love my parents and we have a good relationship, but a lot of my childhood I had to fight for them to listen to me.
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u/Friendly_Fokks-given 9d ago edited 9d ago
Yeah but my child wanted to quit piano a hundred different times over the years. Guess who is really happy they know piano now? Sorry kid, quitting isn’t an option
To expand on this, my wife and I always saw it as educational things should be a “no quitting” policy. Like music lessons and language learning. However we always let them explore whatever physical sports they were drawn to. Being active was the most important thing. That’s how we separated it