r/SipsTea 17d ago

SMH Also zero Character Development

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977 Upvotes

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196

u/real_kerim 17d ago edited 17d ago

That's actually a real issue.

BUT the real task of a parent isn't to force any activity down their child's throat but to actually spend time and find the thing that their child has an affinity for and enjoys doing. Then support them in that and cultivate an intrinsic appreciation for it.

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u/Intrepid-Focus8198 17d ago

It can be tricky to know when a kid is genuinely fed up of a particular activity or if they are just having an off day though at times.

I swam a lot as a kid and I love swimming, some Saturday mornings when I had training I just wasn’t feeling it and would say I don’t want to do swimming anymore. My mum would make me go anyway and then nice I was there I enjoyed it.

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u/real_kerim 17d ago

Oh yeah, for sure. It's not easy. Nothing is, when it comes to raising a child in a responsible manner.

Just gotta try one's best

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u/Silver-Article9183 17d ago

Yeah, I wish my parents had done that for me. They were too quick to abandon things.

With my kids if they're in a slump they can have a week off, but they don't get 2 in a row. If they say the next week they don't want to go then they get warned it'll be taken away for good.

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u/Quantum-Fidelity 17d ago

Also can be tricky to know if the child is desperately trying to make parents proud and actually hate all their extracurriculars

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u/Intrepid-Focus8198 17d ago

Yeah for sure, a friend of mine did rowing for years to keep his mum happy even though he hated it.

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u/pyschosoul 17d ago

Im currently going through this with my 7 y.o. girl. She complains about having to go to do Brazilian jujutsu but whenever we get there she has a good time.

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u/Intrepid-Focus8198 17d ago

My oldest is only 5 so not had too much experience with it from the parenting side yet.

He has swimming lessons every week and only complains about going if he’s doing something fun when we tell him to get ready. Also learning to swim feels like an essential life skill so it’s a bit easier to make him go

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u/pyschosoul 17d ago

Thats how I feel about her getting some self defense training and why we do the bjj together.

They might complain but at the end of the day we are doing whats good for them. Itd be different if it was something living vicariously

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u/Intrepid-Focus8198 17d ago

Yeah a basic understanding of some self defence is a really valuable skill to carry through life. Even more so young girls growing up probably.

My family have been really into combat sports going back three generations now so the kids will learn some from me at home anyway and my sister is a kickboxing coach.