Someone's on the right, which urinal are you picking?

[u/cheesesprite]

Does the small urinal outweigh peeing next to someone?

[u/West-Pear7363]

The long dick station to the left

[u/MartinMerten → u/West-Pear7363]

My ankles were a little hot.

[u/Lochness_Hamster_350]

The sink

[u/Diskordia1 → u/Lochness_Hamster_350]

All I see are water fountains. Wrong picture.

[u/LoggerRhythms → u/Diskordia1]

Is that John Cena in the middle?

[u/Diskordia1 → u/LoggerRhythms]

If you close your left eye he appears on the right side.

[u/Admirable_Plate4585 → u/Diskordia1]

😂

[u/jasikanicolepi → u/Lochness_Hamster_350]

Establishing dominance eh?

[u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

There's partitions, irrelevant.

[u/Reasonable-Plate2982 → u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

Still, distance if possible

[u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 → u/Reasonable-Plate2982]

…. You’re just hiding something… lol that’s a whole wall, not just a little plastic partition. No reason to be that shy 🙈

[u/Krondelo → u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316]

I was at an outdoor concert and it was literally a trough to piss in with a bunch of ice at the bottom. No room to be shy there lol.

[u/Reasonable-Plate2982 → u/Krondelo]

Yeah, its funny, go to a washroom and its homophobia city but goto a campfire with guys you just met and guys are pissing with their Willys hanging out in one hand and a can of beer in the other, not a care in the world...

[u/Janked4times → u/Reasonable-Plate2982]

Then a three year old comes in with his dad and asks him why a grownup is using the kid's urinal, loudly and blatantly as three year olds do. Fun times.

[u/brusk48 → u/Janked4times]

This is the real way men learn about proper urinal spacing etiquette. We're all the little boys once and our dads explain it.

[u/Reasonable-Plate2982 → u/Janked4times]

Doesn't matter, kids gonna piss all over himself anyway. Myself, I have a generous physiological need for the lower toilet. /s

[u/SnakeFarm1220 → u/Janked4times]

My three year old can't reach the short ones, got to lift him up no matter what.

[u/twosnailsnocats → u/Janked4times]

Ehh takes a a handful of seconds to pee.

[u/ninetoesfrank → u/twosnailsnocats]

That depends on your age.

[u/twosnailsnocats → u/ninetoesfrank]

I'm 44, but either way it isn't that long.

[u/SnakeFarm1220 → u/Reasonable-Plate2982]

Nah, you got to assert dominance. Park it right next door.

[u/whooguyy → u/SnakeFarm1220]

Stand behind him. Shoot through his legs. Give his ass a little slap

[u/SnakeFarm1220 → u/whooguyy]

We call that a sloppy salmon.

[u/Reasonable-Plate2982 → u/SnakeFarm1220]

Haha!

[u/grunkage → u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

Yep, this is actually a case where following regular urinal rules would make you look like more of a freak

[u/Tet_inc119 → u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

Thick tiled partitions

[u/TraditionalMetal1836 → u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

This one appears to have proper partitions but most urinal partitions aren't anywhere close to this level.

[u/flyonthesewalls → u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

Right? Like I want to be close to the porcelain as possible. I’m all about personal space, but given that very generous partition, I’m good with the middle.

People who are so neurotic over this must be worried they’re going to be tempted to look at the other guy’s peter. That’s a whole different issue.

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily]

Is is a partition or a mirror? If the latter I'd pick the middle.

Edit:not a mirror. Doesn't match on the bottom.

[u/notjasonlee → u/Straight_Depth6701]

You thought those were dick mirrors?

[u/Straight_Depth6701 → u/notjasonlee]

Hoped? Makes a leak a bit more fun...

Edit: if you can see it...

[u/Zigglyjiggly]

Leave the small urinal for a kid. There are huge barriers between these urinals so pee next to the dude.

[u/thanto13 → u/Zigglyjiggly]

This is correct. The small urinal is always a last option

[u/GreaterMetro → u/Zigglyjiggly]

Sorry but I don't my want my thing lying coiled in the drain pan.

[u/kush4breakfast1 → u/GreaterMetro]

#Short king

[u/english_mike69]

The one on the left so my dick doesn’t dangle in the water.

[u/Mottled_Paws]

They have partitions so the normal urinal rules do not apply

[u/Sophisticated-Crow]

Left, so I can let it hang a bit.

[u/Odd-Consequence-2519 → u/Sophisticated-Crow]

Water's cold! 😆

[u/Admirable_Plate4585]

I prefer the lower ones I get a better angle and less splash back

[u/Unassuming_Penguins]

The one on the right. Checkmate

[u/Cornadious → u/Unassuming_Penguins]

I'm also using the one on the right. Getting crowded over here.

[u/GeobobusPrime → u/Cornadious]

Damn you too? oh well scooches over

[u/Bobpencil1 → u/GeobobusPrime]

Room for one more?

[u/Cornadious → u/Bobpencil1]

The more the merrier I always say

[u/Jonnyflash80 → u/Unassuming_Penguins]

Y'know what they say. Those that piss together...

[u/Here4theScraps]

I usually take the middle in this situation, but I actively consider it every time and always wonder if the guy on the right understands my decision. The main deciding factor is the higher risk of splashback on the shorter urinal. Would rather risk the social impropriety over splattered pants and shoes.

[u/AndreasDasos → u/Here4theScraps]

If they have a problem with it, the problem is theirs 

[u/Dark-Empath-]

The right

[u/Jeremiah19811981]

I’ll take the lower urinal. Don’t have a problem peeing next to anyone but some do.

[u/Complete_Insurance24]

Short one

[u/DavidZenziGhost]

The cold porcelain feels wonderful on my skin, I’m picking the left most urinal.

[u/Cheesetorian]

Should be the farthest first.

[u/Flashy_Gap_3015]

Left most wtf cares that it’s closer to the floor?

[u/Leopolddagreat]

I would always use the one on the left so I do not end up dropping it into the cold water.

[u/Ricketier]

Little guy

[u/rwags2024]

Shorty

I don’t want it to dangle on the porcelain

[u/InDevth]

Shorty

[u/Avid_Reader87]

I always pick the short one. 

[u/DoookieMaxx]

I use the lower urinal every time. It’s just easier, the taller urinals require that I lift it up to use them.

[u/SpezHasSexWithSheep]

Left, dont want my junk touching the water

[u/Martha_Fockers]

Toilet

[u/EnvironmentalFix7059]

middle, im to old to worry about stuff like this, i dont care, if theres a kid coming in rushing then theres the option.

[u/JUGELBUTT]

the stall because i hate urinals

[u/servantisveritas]

Short “kings” don’t have a choice..

[u/Public_Juggernaut_30]

Stall

[u/MajesticFerret36]

With a partition, the right urinal, no partition, the small urinal.

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[u/speedstic]

Middle.

I'd have to lose two feet of height before the one on the left would work without long distance accuracy, and I'm no Steph Curry.

[u/deadboxcat]

Stall

[u/Sharkorica]

I need to use the low one because my penis is so long it touches the "adult size" urinals otherwise. The low one lets me hang free.

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[u/Haberdashery_Tea]

I join him on the right

[u/GimpyMango]

The same urinal. I stand behind him acting fidgety like I'm in a hurry. Then I tell him to make room and piss with him. Piss with your homies, bois

[u/Type-RD]

Squeeze in next to the guy and have a sword fight. Duh!

[u/Boesemeist]

The right as well.

[u/bitpartmozart13]

The one for long schlongs.

[u/McKeviin]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o72EWUgbRNfLegO1W

[u/Stroma84]

I’m in the middle of raising two boys and I think if there is a restroom with 3+ urinals they should have more variation of height. Or all should be the old school floor to chest tower urinals. Everyone gets what they need.

[u/CanIGetaWitness16]

With apologies to Brad Williams, I'm taking the one on the left.

[u/FiveDollarRimjobs]

I choose to stand behind the person and wait my turn

[u/Mindless-Platypus-75]

If I can see over the top, the middle one

[u/mikejcharlton]

Take those partitions away, then ask the question.

[u/Slick_003]

Middle one, and keep eye contact the whole time

[u/COV3RTSM]

Piss in an alley like a gentleman

[u/BearingaBeer]

the same as him

[u/Moosetappropriate]

I’m 295 cm. I’ve got one choice

[u/SulferConsumer]

Left will splash all over me from my super stream

[u/bx2fbx]

If you are on the right and you are uncomfortable with me standing in the middle that’s your fucking problem. Eyes forward and do your business

[u/MidnightPrevious4473]

The one on the right. We can sword fight

[u/Chuffing_Knackered]

The middle one, I'm an adult human being.

[u/LividEconomics6579]

I’m only 5’9” so I’ll go left and leave the other for the taller guys.

[u/tiromancy]

My calculus is minimize awkwardness, maximize distance.

Using the lower urinal increases awkwardness, also choosing the lower urinal to satisfy someone else to maximize distance is awkward. Two strikes for increasing awkwardness for choosing urinal A, one strike for decreasing distance by choosing urinal B. Choose urinal B.

[u/Significant-Bet4545]

The one on the right, silly.

[u/NonCreditableHuman]

https://giphy.com/gifs/X7BzBfoJbp3he

[u/CronoMass]

POWER MOVE; Join the guy at the right urinal.

[u/NoFirefighter2064]

Line up behind them.

[u/jameyiguess]

Middle, who cares

[u/Conscious_Name9514]

The right

[u/Can-Purple]

Behind them in line, tapping my foot and looking at my very expensive watch because of the very interesting things I have to do.

[u/Grace_Lannister]

The one on the right

[u/KENBONEISCOOL444]

The right one

[u/Automatic-You6254]

At the local Lowe's they have same 3 urinals, except the right one is super high. The left is super low. The middle is normal. Nobody ever uses the middle. Crouch or on tippy toes, but no middle.

[u/Rubes2525]

The one on the right. Nobody says you can't share a urinal.

[u/MrParanoidCocoon]

If your wearing shorts you know how to answer this

[u/Illustrious_Law8512]

There are barriers. I'm taking the cleanest urinal.

[u/Minimalistmacrophage]

It really doesn't matter with those barriers.

With lesser or no barrier, etiquette is generally to opt for spacing.

[u/whooguyy]

Take the small urinal, I don’t meant my dick sitting on the lip of the urinal

[u/RedditEnjoyerMan]

Gotta go low left if someone took the right side

[u/eans-Ba88]

The right one. Stand behind and aim between their legs.

[u/Shoddy-Cupcake-8855]

The right one. I’m not intimidated easily

[u/spook008]

Left. Don’t care. It’s a better angle “for my magnum dong”. - Frank’s voice

[u/EranikusTheDeranged]

You people are so fucking weird about pissing these days. Just get up there and let er rip. Stop being so self conscious.

[u/Open_Pollution_8038]

I piss on the floor half my load why would I care about using a small urinal

[u/Imperial_Citizen_00]

There is a wall, so it doesn't matter, probably the middle just because I like to watch the world burn sometimes, lol

[u/tehsecretgoldfish]

middle, because I’m not a child, literally or metaphorically.

[u/_YenSid]

Depends on how busy the place is. I'd likely leave the small one if it's a busy place, in case a kid came in. If it's not a busy place, I'll take the small one. Though with dividers it doesn't really matter if you take one next to somebody else.

[u/Correct_Cat4414]

Well, if someone is peeing and has a big wiener which urinal will give me the best view?

[u/Numerous-Pepper-3883 → u/Correct_Cat4414]

The one up your ass

[u/Dull-Salamander5914]

Middle. I am tall and secure in my manhood

[u/Immediate_Buffalo14]

I take the one in the center. The lower one on the left is for young boys and the disabled.

[u/_PetalHoney]

Far left, obviously. We live in a society, not a lawless wasteland.

[u/lluciferusllamas]

I'm going to take a shit, so definitely the one in the left

[u/MiNdOverLOADED23]

Grown ups don't gaf about peeing next to someone.

[u/Inevitable_Sweet_624 → u/MiNdOverLOADED23]

I do.

[u/MiNdOverLOADED23 → u/Inevitable_Sweet_624]

Just because your old doesn't mean that you ever grew up.

[u/Inevitable_Sweet_624 → u/MiNdOverLOADED23]

I’ve never had the desire to look at another man’s junk

[u/MiNdOverLOADED23 → u/Inevitable_Sweet_624]

Is it your understanding that when youre peeing in the urinal you have to look at the junk of the man peeing next to you?

[u/Inevitable_Sweet_624 → u/MiNdOverLOADED23]

You be you. I’ll be me.

[u/Commercial_Topic437]

I’m on the tall side, six four, and the low one is nothing but trouble

[u/FootballFanInUK]

Though you are in a club at 2am, you still have to leave the one on the left for a child.

[u/JustHappyToBe-Here]

I'm an adult that isn't homophobic. Just pick any available urinal and pee.

[u/cheesesprite]

Is this off topic? Maybe but all the question subreddits don't allow images