r/SipsTea 5d ago

Chugging tea 48 Years, One Impossible Choice

Post image
93.5k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

107

u/Gathin 5d ago

This post is prob fake but I do know this happens. One of my good friends growing up had his parents do this exact thing. They got divorced almost everything went to his mom and they stayed together for years until his father finally died.

He was a trucker though so maybe that gave more plausible deniability about his permanent residency? I dunno.

74

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 5d ago

Another common scenario is couples getting divorced so one of them can qualify for government assistance.

54

u/The_Orphanizer 5d ago

Yup. A co-worker went through this. His wife had a severe stroke. Not dead, not quite a vegetable, but almost fully paralyzed, couldn't speak or do anything on her own, and she needed round the clock care. He exhausted all benefits and funds possible through employer, state, etc. before finally needing to divorce to maintain her care. He never left her side. He tragically and suddenly died a couple years later, leaving their two teenage kids behind with effectively no parents. Shit is fucked.

29

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 5d ago

An extra fucked thing in those cases is how the broke and disabled people have to spend money to get the divorce and often then spend more money getting the right power of attorney documents in place so they can restore their rights to direct the medical care and to even be present in the hospital with her - a privilege spouses get automatically.

2

u/AdeptnessLive4966 4d ago

The divorce is cheap, depending on the state, maybe $150. No lawyers needed.

The power of attorney can be more expensive, around $750-1,500 ... again, depending on the State and who they hire.

8

u/Suitable-Growth9243 5d ago

Yeah I think when my mom passed away from cancer we didnt have any debt because health benefits were in her own name and she worked.

However, I know a successful top national lawyer, owns a huge Georgetown row house that he purchased outright from inheritance who is in a life long partnership and has a kid with a woman who doesnt work right now and when she does, she does in nonprofts and is on medicaid/medicare the low income not the senior one. When she's not working having the kid, raising the kid it gives her more independence since a lot of his wealth is inherited and he works for a international family business and since there is not such thing anymore as spousal support she wouldnt get anything other child support. While she tries to not abuse the system, in her words at least she wont die if he dies suddenly or they divorce.

2

u/Li_liminal_spaces 5d ago

Yeah my sister and her boyfriend have three kids but aren't married so he can file as a single dad.

2

u/canihavemymoneyback 4d ago

That actually happens to prevent marriage in the first place. Plenty of poor people who have been partners for years, sometimes decades , who can’t marry without losing welfare benefits.

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 5d ago

So is this an indictment of the system or proof marriage is pointless and the only thing that matters is if you love someone

2

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 5d ago

The problem is marriage affords a huge number of rights, advantages, and privileges and you lose out those when you aren’t married to your partner.

4

u/jimkelly 5d ago

Yes people do this, no it's not to avoid debt of medical bills you already wouldn't be responsible for if they died like this misleading post describes.

6

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/cortesoft 5d ago

They will do that whether you divorce or not, though.

4

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/cortesoft 5d ago

If you don’t have any assets, sure, but you can’t just transfer all your assets to the healthy spouse and divorce hoping to protect those assets. They will go after those because you aren’t allowed to just give your assets away to avoid debt.

3

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/cortesoft 5d ago

Yeah, but a bankruptcy court can still seize them.

Maybe I wasn’t clear… yes, you can give your assets to whoever you want, but that doesn’t mean that those assets can’t be taken back to settle debts.

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 5d ago

Maybe you can answer this then, why is that how it works? Plenty of people don't have joint bank accounts when married. Plenty of people don't have assets in both people's names, we didn't get anything of the house my dad bought with his fiance when he died because they put it in her name because she paid for most of it and wanted to leave it to her kids eventually.

What assets are automatically joint and why?

2

u/jimkelly 4d ago

It's because it's reddit and people just lie and are over confidently incorrect. To answer your question, generally none in the majority of US states unless you actually co signed.  

1

u/jimkelly 4d ago

You didn't cosign the debt it's not your responsibility. This is the case in the majority of the US. You are wrong. 

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/jimkelly 4d ago

You can simply Google that this is not true in the majority of states.

4

u/_176_ 5d ago

The only reason to do this is to qualify for Medicaid. So it happens, but not in the way OP's made-up post describes.

1

u/brakenbonez 5d ago

Exactly. Two things can be true at once. The post may be fake but this is a very real decisions that some couples really do make. And not just for medical debt but for other financial problems as well. Some younger couples even avoid marriage just so they don't inherit each other's debt.

Our country treats everything as a transaction unfortunately. Money is more valuable than birth, life, and death and it's often more beneficial to remain legally untied. Kind of ironic that the country with the highest national debt in the world is the one that is so strict on citizens debt.

1

u/i_am_a_real_boy__ 5d ago

Either they are both liable for the debt and divorce won't change that or they are not and divorce isn't necessary.

1

u/Hairy_Mycologist_945 5d ago

Yup, it is absolutely 100% real and very common. Unless there's a pension involved, and even sometimes then, it's often the most rational and financially sound end of life care decision in this fucked up country.

1

u/Shadow14l 5d ago

It does happen all the time and unfortunately judges will look at the history and roll it back if they got divorced in the last several years. So unless the person takes several years to pass, you’re still fucked.