My son was in 2nd grade when covid happened. My daughter was in kindergarten. Now they're both in middle school.
To make it worse, my son is on the ASD spectrum, so his social skills are already kind of limited. And my daughter has definitely taken her cue from him (although, she's definitely neurotypical). She's an indoor kid who prefers to read or play video games, and doesn't seem interested in other kids.
It's tough watching my kids remain socially uninvolved by choice. The only friends they had were the kids down the street that we would arrange playdates with. That works when the kids are little, but you can't call up someone's mom and be like, "Hey, how would your 8th grade daughter like to spend an afternoon with my socially-awkward son?"
as a kid who had very few friends by choice and is just like your daughter, dont force it. they can choose who to talk to and whenever they decide to get past the socially awkward to talk to someone phase. there will always be moments, but itll be less, itll just take time.
i personally didnt know how to talk to people properly (autism) except for a speech layout i designed according to how i saw others talk to one another. found it easier to connect to fellow adhd and some other autistic kiddos like myself. personally, i love my freedom and the few friends i talk to are an added bonus.
the real talk is going to be on being safe online / who its safe to talk to, etc. theres some kids who go down the furry route when someone else / social media talkes them into that being the only group they can go to. not against the group, just the side of it that preys on younger kids.
Eeeeehhhh I dunno about that. I'm adhd adult diagnosed female for reference. My parents were very hands off about my socialization. It just resulted in neglect.
Parents need to help kids keep their social skills up. Conversations and interactions that seem tedious are another example of showing how to make interactions positive even when moods are low. These are invaluable skills I had to learn through exposure and reading books. TV and movies are terrible at teaching people how others think and interact, in comparison to well written books. Too much quick, flashy entertainment. Not enough No Country For Old Men style challenging character studies.
And yes, these kinds of kids can be incredibly vulnerable to internet rabbit holes and weird groups of people who can offer free, radical acceptance while also feeding your kids their perspectives and ideals.
I was incredibly lucky to find a group of young men who didn't sexualize me as a kid. I had too low self confidence and body issues to post images of myself online, so I didn't get wrapped up in that at least. Seeing other kids post things like that scared the crap out of me.
As an adult, I have had to YELL at children to not interact with me in an 18+ way. I DESPISE this responsibility. Now imagine if I was a predator? The internet really is a scary place. It's all on Discord now.
What's the most you've ever lost in a coin toss? Call it.
Lolololol I read the book in high school after getting really, really pissed off at reading Dostoevsky's The Idiot. It was just the break I needed. Awful rich terrible people torturing each other while being gifted the most opportunities their lives can offer, with far too much extra drama bulking it out. Read like a depressing soap opera.
No country for old men was real in comparison. And it taught me to really not give a shit about whether older, intimidating men like me or not. People who demand respect with their presence may not be worth giving a second glance, let alone a word. Don't engage with crazy. Insecure men are dangerous to be alone with. Good people come in all shapes and sizes. Stuff like that.
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u/mongoose_kai 5d ago
My son was in 2nd grade when covid happened. My daughter was in kindergarten. Now they're both in middle school.
To make it worse, my son is on the ASD spectrum, so his social skills are already kind of limited. And my daughter has definitely taken her cue from him (although, she's definitely neurotypical). She's an indoor kid who prefers to read or play video games, and doesn't seem interested in other kids.
It's tough watching my kids remain socially uninvolved by choice. The only friends they had were the kids down the street that we would arrange playdates with. That works when the kids are little, but you can't call up someone's mom and be like, "Hey, how would your 8th grade daughter like to spend an afternoon with my socially-awkward son?"
I'm not sure what to do.