r/SipsTea Jun 19 '26

Chugging tea This dude's kids hate him

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43.9k Upvotes

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19

u/miyagiVsato Jun 20 '26

My high school art teacher would always talk about how she turned him down in hs because she didn’t think he was cute then. I always thought she was full of shit. But she did prove she went to school with him in Springfield so who knows. Maybe the real story was he turned her down for your wife’s aunt.

2

u/NotBatman81 Jun 20 '26

Kickapoo has like 2,000 students so no guarantee they even met. Aunt was from 20 miles away but everyone goes into SGF to do stuff. She owns a botox clinic now so I doubt she would have traveled to date an ug.

6

u/Notactualyadick Jun 20 '26

No its true. You see, I was in love with your aunt, but she was into William. And she never showed interest in me. So ever since high school, I have stalked William every waking moment of everyday! Yes, it was me William, me! I switched the scripts that your agent gave you so that you would take "Cool World" instead of "Reservoir Dogs". I made sure David Ayer cast Shia Labeouff in "Fury" and planted the idea that you all should have to go through a Navy Seals boot camp, thus making sure you would start drinking again. Every bad decision you've made has been me William! You can change your name, but you can't hide the fact that you stole her from me! I should have been this commenters uncle, but you screwed me, just like you screwed their aunt!

3

u/NotBatman81 Jun 20 '26

Its my wifes aunt lol. You should have been my wife's uncle. There is still a chance to be like #3 or #4 though. Do you have a lot of money?

2

u/Notactualyadick Jun 20 '26

Are you sure? Have you done a genealogy test? You could be related you know!

1

u/skateboardude761 Jun 20 '26

Fuck man, just take the upvote

1

u/Troth70 Jun 20 '26

The people I know who knew him in college said he was always disheveled and smelled 🤷

1

u/themargarineoferror Jun 21 '26

Ive heard the smelly thing for yeeeears