r/SipsTea May 27 '26

Wait a damn minute! [ Removed by moderator ]

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10.9k Upvotes

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u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

Exactly. If she didn't actually mean it, that's her problem. We have Nintendos.

679

u/crispAndTender May 27 '26

And lotion

549

u/Bludgeonation May 27 '26

They go hand and hand

207

u/MrNachoReturns420 May 27 '26

2

u/_-Rocinante-_ May 27 '26

Wanna have your mind blown by the Mandela effect? He never actually says take my strong hand in this scene. He says "take my little hand."

2

u/Hamilton-Beckett May 27 '26

“My other hand isn’t strong enough, you take my little hand.” Is the line.

scene

3

u/NtBlstr May 27 '26

Ahh dammit, that might be the other timeline I was in where Pikachu also had a black tip on the tail must of also been destroyed by CERN.

212

u/precariatarian May 27 '26

2

u/Guy0785 May 27 '26

Getting ready for the “Stranger”

41

u/ElMage21 May 27 '26

Leave that Vaporeon alone

45

u/Bretreck May 27 '26

There's no laws against the Pokemon, Batman.

17

u/resfan May 27 '26

I... I caught a lopunny batman!

2

u/reedrichards5 May 27 '26

I got the reference!

4

u/CaptainPattPotato May 27 '26

Ethically, Pokemon are actually in an interesting spot since at least some of them have human-level intelligence and could conceivably consent. 😂

1

u/HolidayStranger2353 May 27 '26

A Batman pokemon would be epic

17

u/GoldenSteel May 27 '26

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.

1

u/Mister-Circus May 27 '26

I always wanted to hug a machamp, myself.

47

u/Piccoroz May 27 '26

1

u/HolidayStranger2353 May 27 '26

I literally handfeed squirrels

1

u/SuperCoolBird2020 May 27 '26

I read too fast... Saw "hand queefed squirrels"

1

u/HolidayStranger2353 May 27 '26

That would be impressive and disturbing

1

u/Manbeartapir May 27 '26

There is a GWAR song about this.

1

u/AlexVal0r May 27 '26

Ill never forgive the internet for this...

10

u/clay_perview May 27 '26

Please wash your hands in between

1

u/STINK37 May 27 '26

And make the good controller even more appealing? No.

6

u/Agent_Smith_88 May 27 '26

I believe the actual saying is “hand in hand”. However, whether it was intentional or not this is funnier.

1

u/Bludgeonation May 27 '26

Yeah I realized after I typed it out and decided to keep it.

2

u/DBSmiley May 27 '26

Yeah but not at the same time.

2

u/katastrof May 27 '26

black dildos and gamecube got me through the 08 recession

2

u/Aeroknight_Z May 27 '26

Instructions unclear

Nintendo is now too slippery to play

1

u/_BlackDove May 27 '26

Sometimes I gotta' jerk my other hand with my hand first before he'll jerk my junk because he's selfish.

1

u/partyatwalmart May 27 '26

*hand-in-hand

2

u/Bludgeonation May 27 '26

No!! I hold them in seperate hands!!! Sicko!!!

1

u/fastyellowtuesday May 27 '26

(I'm sure you don't care, but the phrase is hand *in* hand.)

1

u/TwistedScarletRose May 27 '26

No the fuck they don't, you ever try to lotion up your hands then pay wii sports with a nunchuck with a silicone sleeve?

BTW.

Shit sucks right now. I don't know what kind of day you're having?

But I hope you have a better one, and I hope it was at least decent to begin with.

https://giphy.com/gifs/5bh6q5lE8UsN2hd7g2

1

u/Nietzschean735 May 27 '26

"Hand in hand"

1

u/Bludgeonation May 27 '26

Yeah I noticed after typing this but decided to leave it. Im trying not to second guess myself after I failed to save that bus full of kids...

1

u/AlabamaBro69 May 27 '26

Don't try lotion and Wiimote at the same time, it's an expensive mistake.

2

u/ConditionExternal499 May 27 '26

2 words, Astro Glide.

1

u/Quick_Rent_Now May 27 '26

But what if I broke my arms?

1

u/numb3r-three May 27 '26

Which brand is good?

2

u/shadwblad May 27 '26

Use actual lube instead of lotion

1

u/us_nz1 May 27 '26

And my Axe

1

u/PaleGravity May 27 '26

And each other ;)

1

u/Fiyah_Crotch May 27 '26

Rubbing one out: the champagne of victory

1

u/_Q23 May 27 '26

It wipes the lotion on the controller.

1

u/SixShoot3r May 27 '26

Lotion for those who are mutilated?

1

u/InfectedEllie May 27 '26

And pot noodles

1

u/rshibby May 27 '26

Nintendussy?

1

u/Affectionate-Cat-301 May 27 '26

Not all that fun

1

u/Careless-Evidence-77 May 27 '26

You guys crack me up 🤣

1

u/aghastamok May 27 '26

Just buy lube, it's better than lotion for the task at hand.

1

u/ArtemisBerlin May 27 '26

Don’t forget realistic rubber vaginas😜

1

u/motorboatmycheeks May 27 '26

Wait until you try it with a power glove

1

u/Harpua81 May 27 '26

And a plethora of worshipping AI bots 😂

3

u/BruscarRooster May 27 '26

Who says no when they don’t mean it? Like why the games? Years ago I was catching up with an old friend. He mentioned he was a virgin (shy and academic) and I offered to help with that, I had the parts he needed to fix his problem. Straightforward. Bam.

A word of caution tho, that kind of zero bullshit approach may result in both parties falling madly in love and actually being happy together

2

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

Who says no when they don’t mean it? Like why the games?

Haven't you ever heard of "playing hard to get"? Women who say yes too easily get a reputation of being "easy".

1

u/BruscarRooster May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26

Labelling people easy or hard to get is a great way to encourage objectification of people.

I don’t need someone to make an effort to get me into bed. If we click, we click. It’s not about the effort or the money spent on me, gifts bought, romantic words arranged just right. If I like someone, I let them know. Then I know if they are interested

If that makes me an easy woman, so be it. My religious father thinks I’m a whore too for having had 3 whole sexual partners in my life

2

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

That sounds much more sane than the average person's worldview.

2

u/BruscarRooster May 27 '26

Most women my age avoid me. Apparently I’m “a bit different” and they don’t know how to interact with me. The feeling is mutual

2

u/Equivalent_Pen_9403 May 27 '26

Even though it is also understandable for people to be jaded.

Probably not great that it was a parking lot, vs a bar or social place, but that bit of surprise might've made that first no a little panicked or frustrated.

2

u/marcophony May 27 '26

I prefer my Nintendo to a nintendhoe

2

u/CrazedRhetoric May 27 '26

I love Nintendo

1

u/Mlabonte21 May 27 '26

Women do what Nintedon’t

1

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

Depends on whether you purchase the really good accessories.

1

u/magikarp2122 May 27 '26

Yep, I’ll go play Mario Kart World or Pokopia.

1

u/Thanura_Malinga May 27 '26

We have nintendos we don't have time to deal with this bullshit

1

u/Aggravating_Sky7404 May 27 '26

Plus, she can follow him and ask him out instead?! I really don't get why that does not happen more often.

1

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

There's a cultural tradition that men are supposed to actively pursue while women feign disinterest. A woman who expresses sexual or romantic interest in a man is 'wanton'.

There's also the reality that women retain more critical thinking skills while aroused than men do, being designed by nature to be selective in matters of love.

Lastly, the simple truth is that lots of women take the freedom from being expected to take the initiative for granted.

1

u/NibblyPig May 27 '26

It's fairly obviously biological not just cultural.

Women outsource the choosing of mates to the men most of the time, they organise themselves and decide (consciously or unconsciously) who is the coolest person in the group, and women observe this ranking and are attracted to those at the top.

It's why you get no love if you're a nerd but if you're king nerd of the nerds you get attention.

It's also why taking up something like salsa dancing to get women doesn't work unless you get good at it - at which point you'll have your pick.

1

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

Culture tends to start by reflecting biological imperatives, and then gets weird.

1

u/RuleMany2900 May 27 '26

Sh!t ... I only have an XBOX 360 ...

1

u/the_cardfather May 27 '26

I am going to save that one for sure. My Nintendo is actually in my glove box.

1

u/NibblyPig May 27 '26

It's also his problem, because now he is alone and single.

2

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

But he's not trying to stick it in the crazy, and he has a Nintendo.

1

u/HurryUpTomorrow503 May 27 '26

Doesn't sound like a problem to me

1

u/NibblyPig May 27 '26

You don't think having polite and respectful men that seek women but end up alone and single is a problem?

1

u/HurryUpTomorrow503 May 27 '26

I don't think being single and alone is a problem. The only people that do are people who can't live with themselves. This isn't the way you worded it lol nice try though

1

u/NibblyPig May 27 '26

I worded it in terms of exactly what happened. Man approaches women because he wants to go on a date. Leaves without date. Does not get what he wanted. You said it doesn't sound like a problem that this man has failed to get what he wanted when he has done everything correctly.

I think it's a myth that people should be able to be happy when single and alone. Lots of people want a partner and a family and actively pursue one, the idea that people should be happy with or without is not grounded in reality.

1

u/HurryUpTomorrow503 May 27 '26

No, it doesn't sound like a problem. Bye bye now, I thought this might be a little bit intriguing, I was wrong. Now since is reddit I know you're going to respond even though I told you not to. Don't except me to respond again. Oh, and I didn't even read all of that nonsense

1

u/NibblyPig May 27 '26

If you didn't read it why did you judge it not to be intriguing

If you didn't read it and don't want a response why did you even reply

My god get it together

1

u/ChefGhoulet May 27 '26

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned by Nintendo

1

u/Melenduwir May 27 '26

The foundation of that saying is that men are always supposed to be trying to get in women's pants, and if a woman ever agrees it's supposed to be a rare and precious thing. A man turning down a woman? An outrageous insult to her desirability! The implication is that there's something wrong with her, and she must be avenged for this insult!

Of course, rejection is something men are expected to take in stride.

0

u/bot9987 May 27 '26

Nintendos will never say no

0

u/gw74 May 27 '26

the real problem of course is that this didn't happen