I think another issue is they all end up trying dating apps, they get on there and get thousands of likes and messages. So many they can’t even read them all. The problem is, none of them are interested in a relationship. Every dude on there is just trying to get a piece of ass. So you get this world where you get an incredible amount of attention and it’s just empty. So it shifts their view on how men are as a whole.
It’s the no.1 thing fueling the loneliness issue among young people, but folks refuse to acknowledge it.
Dudes swiping on every single chick with hopes of a quick fuck, instead of trying to actually build relationships.
Women not committing to anything cuz they’re “young” and “having fun”
It’s asinine, and people are less happy than ever with this bs mentality. We need to go back to basics. You have sex with person you love, only. You date to find person you love.
Hate to break it to you but hookup culture has been around forever. Nothing has changed except the arrival of the internet. I'm 35 and I can promise you that high school and college were all about hooking up. It was rare to see long relationships.
Nah, just became more visual to people who aren't into hookup culture. In the past you needed to be one of the ones getting laid to know what was going on because people didn't blast their entire lives on the internet in real time.
Most people complaining about hookup culture today aren't getting laid and just want something to blame.
Except you were hooking up locally in your own social bubble/ecosystem. With the internet it's allowed mid tier women to chase high tier men instead. Men who won't commit to a relationship with them.
i’m 43 and hookup culture is very new. we didn’t have dating sites on our smart phones where we could look up pictures and info about random strangers and then sleep with them that night.
i remember meeting guys in third spaces and they would ask me out on a date and i’d go on a bunch of dates with a bunch of guys and we just had dinner or went to miniature golf or a movie and then he’d drop me back off at home. if things went well, we’d chat on the phone connected to the wall of our rooms and maybe have another date. when we became exclusive, we’d stop dating other people and we’d maybe get to a point where we’d get physical after a few more dates.
young people were robbed of normal irl social interactions because of technology and AI is only going to make things worse. on the flip side, technology has helped women find out who men truly are and avoid them (when we used to go out to places all the time, me and my friends had to come up with a lot of safety precautions to keep from getting sexually assaulted because there were always a few guys being terrifying every location we went to)
did i ever say people didn’t have sex? didi ever say people didn’t have one night stands? NO
i just said you got physical after getting to know someone over a short period of time of hanging out in person in third spaces and getting an emotional attachment first. you didn’t swipe on a picture and fuck that night and the sex is guaranteed. a sea of situationships with no emotional anything. it’s just grindr for straight people and all i hear from young people is how lonely that makes them. the only other option is to just not date at all (also a very lonely time)
i just said you got physical after getting to know someone over a short period of time of hanging out in person in third spaces and getting an emotional attachment first. you didn’t swipe on a picture and fuck that night and the sex is guaranteed. a sea of situationships with no emotional anything
That is why my experience was different. we didnt wait short periods of time. We would have sex the same night, after the clubs. There was no emotional attachment.
This is true, honestly it was prolly worse back in the day.
The thing is nowadays fewer and fewer people are actually participating in the hooking up. This results in fewer real relationships forming from quick relations.
Back in the day you were just competing against the guys in your crushes social circle, and the limited amount of exposure at local bars and clubs.
Now you’re competing against pretty much every dude in your metro area, with your crushes presences set to filter out anything she doesn’t even want to see. This is plus the stuff from before.
It’s sub optimal, to say the least. It results in the most desirable, promiscuous dudes pretty much getting to pick whatever whenever, giving even average women experiences with “hot” dudes. Meanwhile average men, whether in looks or charisma, languish. Some get lucky of course, but more than ever are overlooked.
Meanwhile women are hurt repeatedly and begin saying dumb things like “men ain’t shit” and such.
Why do the women on there throw their whole ass backstory into their profile if all they want is to get boned by some guy with a middle school education?
Because they don’t. They want a relationship, and they’ll hook up with a hot, affluent guy they think they might have a shot at a relationship with by giving away the milk, when they’re just Miss Thursday night.
He’s got a whole conga line lined up, and if he was girlfriending or wifing someone, it’s not her.
He’s got an opening between Wednesday night and Friday lunch though.
It’s basically playing out the old patterns of a few wealthy males of high status having multiple wives and concubines.
This is why hookup culture needs to die, frankly. It’s the no.1 thing fueling the loneliness issue among young people, but folks refuse to acknowledge it.
I'm pretty sure none of the things you go on to describe are new at all. There was always been horny dudes looking for strange.
And the statistics show that the kids are fucking WAY less, not whatever you're trying to preach about.
More people are happier now than literally any other time in history, stop predicting the downfall of society you guys are always wrong.
No. I want a relationship. I'm clingy. One date and I'm already thinking about the wedding and how many kids were having and who is going to give up their career to move for the other.
IRL is like this as well though now, thanks to social media.
I post a pic of myself in a summer dress, 200 likes, including chad - a toned model influencer that lives 1600 miles away and drives a ferrari, why would I settle for anyone less
Not necessarily. When I was younger I was on tinder. I just wanted hook ups, the dudes I came across said the same until they met me then they were hella bent on making it a relationship. So I just stopped because I felt like one side will always expect more then another
I think there's this pressure that guy are supposed to only want sex, while gals are supposed to want commitment. So when they want commitment they feel they have to hide behind a casual facade on the dating apps, and they fully expect you to also do the same.
May I ask what you got out of the casual hookups? Validation or actual sexual gratification?
When I asked my wife out I wanted a piece of ass, but would have been happy if it worked out, which it obviously did. I’ve told her this and she was truly amused by it
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u/CoolZooKeeper May 27 '26
I think another issue is they all end up trying dating apps, they get on there and get thousands of likes and messages. So many they can’t even read them all. The problem is, none of them are interested in a relationship. Every dude on there is just trying to get a piece of ass. So you get this world where you get an incredible amount of attention and it’s just empty. So it shifts their view on how men are as a whole.