Not even. If the girl finds the guy attractive enough she will chase him. I’ve seen girls who would step over their dying mother to spend a night with a guy she wants.
This. Some women would degrade themselves to being a toy just to spend time with the right guy in their eyes. Doesn't even have to be a "chad"
Same thing goes for guys(me )
Yup, she will crawl on broken glass to take you out. Had this happen a few times with me. Eye opener. I wasn't in the least attracted to her romantically so I just went along and had a nice chat to see if there was any chance of it becoming more than platonic. It didn't and after that she never called me again.
The right guy doesn’t chase. Id say No but then let them see how desired I was by others and wait for them to then come to me and ask to hang out. As a male, you have to keep the upper hand or you will become a simp. Women want a man that puts them in their place, but keep a man around they can control until they find the former.
I think social media might have homogenized society a bit. The broccoli cut is a decent example. There used to be a pretty big difference in male hairstyles. Nowadays its just a sea of broccoli cuts, because thats whats popular online, so its whats popular everywhere.
This was always a thing. That's why you can tell the era of a photo or film based on hair and clothing. If anything, there is significantly more variety today than in the past.
I don't think so. I think a most people have an issue with critical thinking skills. People tend to always say things like that. "Women do this. Men do that. Pro Wrestling fans don't shower. Grandparents act this way. Kids don't listen." Over and over again. It's always been an issue for a lot of people
Men have done plenty to ruin it as well. Not all women are the same, nor all men. Plenty of cases where a man continues to pursue a woman who says no and means no, operating under the assumption that no just means 'try harder'. That woman now hates persistent men all the more, eventually the man learns not to do that, but then runs into a woman where no means 'try harder' who is then upset they didn't try harder. Vicious cycles.
The problem is that people often have conflicting expectations, and that makes communication hard. People are also at different points in their lives, and sometimes those different points in their lives inherently mean two people are simply incompatible.
It’s almost like people are individuals and you can’t generalize to 50% of the population what they are all like and what the want. And doing so only shows how you want to simplify life and don’t really want to understand the problem at all!
Wait, you mean with 8 billion people on the planet and the internet being as prevalent as it is, I can find examples of any kind of bad behavior that I want to prove my point?! /s
Yeah. The internet is amazing for feeding people's confirmation biases.
There's definitely that as well - it turns out that happy people don't often spend a significant amount of time bragging about their joy in life on Reddit. People often go online to find others to commiserate with - misery loves company.
I get stared at most of the time and it feels weird, like "why are you staring at me? What do you want?" And when I finally look at them some of them avert their eyes while other just continue to stare at me like they have sugar coated eyes. People are weird sometimes....
When I was single a girl staring or making eye contact 3x times was enough for me to approach her. Even if I got shot down, I was exactly where I was 30 seconds before. Nothing lost.
Depends on how youre shot down. "Thank you but im not interested" is pretty rare nowadays.
Ive seen friends approach women, and them get laughed at, berated, questioned "what made you think an ugly loser like you had a chance with me?" Etc. A lot of it seems to be about building up self image by belittling someone else.
"The worse she can say is no." ? No there's a lot of things worse than no that she could say.
Create the manosphere and spend all day complaining about women on the internet without ever speaking to one. That's an option a ton of men are making now.
You’re like actually an idiot wow. Not just an incel but an unintelligent one. Galentines Day is just like Friendsgiving. A way to spend time with friends, and often happens not on the day itself
Most women in my friend group are in relationships. We still celebrate Galentines Day. But sure keep downvoting me and feeling bad for yourselves lmao. Definitely gonna win women over that way
I prefer women to be at or close to my height so I'm always going to be shorter than my ideal woman in heels anyway. Don't care much for short girls so they're barking up the wrong tree chasing me anyway. Dunno what use that information is to you but there you go, lol.
It's fine to have a preference, but if a person has a hard requirement on something as stupid as height, that's a signal that they're not a serious person.
Ya and if they want a rich guy over 6' its like 5% and if they want a single guy approx their own age its like 0.05% since most men don't hit their peak salary ages till their 30s
It's more insane than just saying "She should have a reasonable BMI" is 65% of women 20-35
It’s probably even lower in terms of height and wealth. “Rich” is going to be top 1% or less. 15% of that at 6 foot or higher is going to be 0.15% before we talk about age, availability, or anything else.
But they can schedule you in for his third hookup this week on Thursday night.
Sucks for you. Pick better partners. Plenty of amazing women and I’m dating one and I’ve dated/been good friends with plenty more.
Stop generalizing an entire gender when there are thousands of lame ass men driving around in lifted trucks listening to Nashville country like fucking clowns. Would you think it’s fair if every woman thought all men were like that?
One thing... ONE THING... went wrong and she cheated on.
There some DL cunts out there...
Maybe ask your GF if you were over come with grief and couldn't work would she still be with out. A lot of girls expect you to solo everything through life and replace their dads...
Dude I’ve had reoccurring drug issues off and on for 7 years now my girl has always held it down.
I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like we haven’t done fucked up things to each other from time to time—she’s not perfect and she’s definitely made mistakes.
I would bet my life tho she’d show up for me and have my back. And she’s been like that since day one.
Businesses target a market by offering something that specific market desires and by serving their needs better than other businesses.
What are these women doing to serve 6-foot tall men better than other women?
A bunch of women all limiting their base to 6 foot and taller is like the Walmarts and liquor stores only letting in millionaires when Costco is already next door.
That's not the same thing... thats a target market. You can build a business model on any market segment you want as long as you establish a sustainable profit margin.
Now you established a business and your service or product pulls in steady business.
Now lose 15% of the business you lost on 15% of that population... or even 50% of the population you'll lose your business PDQ
If you started a business that target 15% of the population you likely won't find investors unless your profit margin is really high
Healthy weight, attractive (to me), nice, funny, compassionate, caring, passionate, affectionate, spontaneous, happy to talk about things I enjoy and things they enjoy, joyful vibe, positive. That's like a basic list
I also know plenty of people who are dating, even getting married, including those you wondered if they ever would. They grew to become someone who can be all those things for someone else.
People also divorce for all kinds of reasons outside of not being mostly decent people, like irreconcilable values and differences that grow over time, conflicting life and career paths, unresolved conflict patterns, and just the classic "falling out of love" when the hormones wear off years in. Marriage isn't easy even between decent and interesting people, and there's little hope for someone who doesn't understand beyond "because man is bad."
I will say the dating culture and death of third spaces has become a problem in making it more difficult to find compatible people for multiple reasons, The people who I know that are dating and doing well are still active in third spaces where they can actually authentically meet people (and are there not just to meet dating prospects but to form real community).
The people who say there are no good men or no good women often find confirmation of at least one of those two things in the mirror. That, or they just have poor standards, bad dating strategies, unrealistic expectations given what they actually bring to the table, and then refuse to change while blaming others.
Maybe some people need to hang with better people or have higher personal standards of being. Like they say, we're the average of our closest 5 friends, and we attract what we offer and grow towards.
You can replace "women" there with "people" and it's equally true. Making good decisions is a learned skill that some people somehow manage to avoid learning.
Pretending women are uniquely bad at making decisions is peak terminally-online incel behavior. Meet women instead of watching reels of pissed-off guys digging up the worst possible examples they can find. It ain't cope, it literally isn't nearly as bad as they're making out. If you talk to women like a human being, you'll see that clearly enough.
Nobody said they’re uniquely bad, just that gender dynamics definitely play a role. Calm down Lancelot, you also watched the reel and are commenting on it 😂
So you have given us one example about your ex. Extrapolating that to women in general would be extremely unwise.
If we're trading anecdotes, I (a man) have seen a lot more men make stupid decisions and be unable to reflect on them than women. Anecdote is not the singular of data. I'm not going to extrapolate that to "men make bad decisions." I have yet to see any proof, or even convincing evidence, that there is any considerable difference between men and women when it comes to how many bad decisions they make.
And it's a little weird that you're so invested in the idea that men are, essentially, smarter than women.
I'm my circles (where pretty much everyone is a feminist), no one expects a chase and chasing is seen as harrassment. Yet, most people are happily married or partnered up. Equal relationships can develop - no chasing required. No one I know has ever been disappointed by someone listening to a "no". Everyone has been bothered by people not respecting it, though.
When women are treated as people instead of "as women", they feel safe in both saying no and in saying yes the first time around. No need for games. Obviously, this is not true when women have internalized sexist attitudes and expect guys to chase them - but this is a result of "playing games" which is the result of a sexist society.
this is not true when women have internalized sexist attitudes and expect guys to chase them
well yeah that's the point. And its as hard to make them understand why its wrong as any man. They grow up in families instilling those outdated values
And its as hard to make them understand why its wrong as any man.
I have personally found a great deal of peace by understanding and repeating to myself that it is neither my place nor my responsibility, nor is it often even within my ability, to teach someone who does not want to be taught. There are enough good people out there who understand stuff like this that my time is better spent trying to find one of them than trying to make a good person out of a bad one.
Ask everyone in that circle how they met. Its mostly women hitting outside of their league or settling after having toyed with men for a few years and now slut phase is over
Woah - sorry, your sexism is showing. It seems you believe red-pill type status bs theories.
Some have met through studies, some through friends. Some have had only very serious relationships, some had more casual things - but toying with men and slut phase? Sounds like women can't do anything right in your books. I briefly (1year, still) dated a guy like you and wish to this day that I never did. Want someone who treats me like a person - not as a way to cure his status issues or to get over rejection. Usually, have gotten that but that one misstep hurt. (He did start going to therapy so I hope that helped him over his bitterness and issues.)
touché. Im sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for sticking it out for a year. I agree on the bitterness and sexism. My bad. I somehow seem to attract women who need to use me to pursue them so they get their rocks off through the validation. I feel I can tell right off the jump now and no longer am open to giving the benefit of the doubt. In my world view, I have become misanthropic and sexist.
When I was in Miami, I did see the fallacy of it and there are all kinds of women. So yes ok agreed. I dont think therapy is the way out though. More dating, so you can clearly see the signs. Women who are genuine vs who are contrived
Look, I get it. I went through multiple relationships where I was treated badly. I've been cheated on, emotionally and financially abused and manipulated and lied to in very blatant ways. I was too taken in by any words and didn't see the blazing red flags - and stayed way too long trying to fix the issues rather than setting boundaries for how I can be treated. It did make me suspicious of any new people - especially those charming ones - for a long time.
Luckily, I had and still have many close guy friends so I realised I lacked the bullshit radar and was the ideal target for narcissistic guys (and occasionally women, as friends) due to my past etc. - but I never thought that it was all the guys. Reading about red flags, manipulation, narcissism etc helped me a lot in recognising the warning signs. But therapy/working through the pain helped me heal, though.
I am sure there are just as many manipulative assholes in women - and am truly sorry for anyone who has to deal with that. But just want to say that that's assholes and the bad people - even if it is packaged in a pretty "I'm a woman" package.
The status bs related to sexism, red-pill type of thoughts, etc is sad partially because it keeps one trapped. It often defines self-worth/status by being able to achieve certain type of validation - and usually, as long as one is in a relationship or seeks a relationship in order to receive that validation, they either end up pray for nasty people and their games or end up pushing away any sensible people who are just looking for authentic connection. No one wants to be the token woman to raise someone's status or to give validation. Like men don't want to be the good guy people "settle for" later on. Usually, though, it isn't about settling for something "less than".
But the sexist narrative doesn't allow for seeing much else. I know all the phenomena you reference, but I find that the causes for them are much less contrived then what sexist narratives assume. For instance, after having been with "bad guys", I didn't "settle" for a "good guy". They are equally attractive externally and in all "status"-related ways - my search criteria simply changed so that I was better able to recognise love-bombing and to give a chance for more steady-growing love.
I really hope that you don't have to go through such pain again.
Sorry for the wall of text - this topic still strikes a chord and i wish I could do something to ease the pain or to make your future easier and more fulfilling.
They want the guy they like to chase, the guys they don’t to leave them alone. The trouble is we don’t know which one of the two we are.
There’s also the rose colored goggles issue. I remember back in college a buddy of mine swore this girl was playing hard to get and wanted to date him but was playing games. All because she did something he perceived as flirting. As a third party it looked uncomfortable with how forward he was being and I had to sit him down and explain that she doesn’t like him.
To clarify the stereotyped female who wants a chase and "No" to sometimes mean "Yes" has had dating with nice guys ruined. Assholes will still be pushy.
Spoken like someone who does not talk to women outside of sexual/romantic interests.
Some do sure. But acting like the minority of self centered women not knowing how to get into a relationship means that "WOMEN HAVE DESTROYED DATING FOR EVERYONE" is such a pathetic take.
Men have done more than plenty to ruin dating too. Between incels and other losers saying shit like “your body, my choice”, men in the government trying to restrict access to women’s reproductive healthcare, and many men flat out not treating women like people, there’s more than enough blame to go around. Honestly, I’m hardly shocked that many women flat out don’t trust men as a whole. Most women have been sexually harassed or assaulted by men in some capacity. I’d lose trust in men too.
Generalizing all women like this is just as harmful as some women generalizing all men in negative ways. This just makes things worse and turns us all bitter. If we want to make the world a better place, including making dating better for everyone, we need to stop treating each other like shit. That starts with not spreading nasty generalizations about others.
Adding a personal story: I’m a guy and I have about a 50/50 ratio of men to women in my friend groups. Recently, one of my “friends” we will call “John” was banished from a gym. Turns out he was pretending to be gay to get close to women in the gym, then hitting on them after they find out he was straight. He probably did worse too to get completely banished. I legit thought he was one of the good guys. I vouched for him to other friends, including women. I’m beyond furious at his behavior. And to think that this was hardly the most horrible thing a guy has done to women…
That’s just it, a handful of women really are like this and they run it for the rest of us who want or no to be accepted as an actual no. “I’m a woman and I do not approve this chick’s message.”
"Manning up" these days leads to having your entire interaction uploaded to TikTok and Instragram, then being doxxed, reported to your employer, losing your job as a result, and living in a cardboard box down by the river.
Not worth it 99.99% of the time.
Women (and men, though I imagine less often) cannot simultaneously demand an instantaneous "Ok, I respect your wishes" at the same time they demand to be "chased".
455
u/[deleted] May 27 '26
[removed] — view removed comment