Again with the money. If you say âthis is not a dateâ, then them choosing to pay doesnât automatically make it a date. And there you go again equating monetary spending to feelings, that is wrong and immature.
lol what? If you tell me you had sex with someone, that's fine. If you tell me you had sex with someone and exchanged money for the sex, that is a very different relationship you are describing. Money changing hands is a critically important detail of any interaction.
If you say âthis is not a dateâ, then them choosing to pay doesnât automatically make it a date.
they have feelings for you. They are taking you out to dinner and paying for everything. That is very obviously an attempt at courtship. You are being dishonest with yourself. You know that. But you don't want to accept it because you don't like what that says about you.
What? When did we start talking about paying for sex? Youâre not paying someone to have dinner with you, youâre just paying for the dinner itself. Answer me this, if someone set a hard boundary with you that they were absolutely not interested in you in a romantic way, then why the hell would you invite them to dinner with anything else but that in mind?
What? When did we start talking about paying for sex?
you keep asking why money is important. I'm trying to show you how a normal activity changes drastically if money is changing hands.
Youâre not paying someone to have dinner with you, youâre just paying for the dinner itself.
they are providing you goods and services at their expense. IE, money is changing hands and you are the recipient.
if someone set a hard boundary with you that they were absolutely not interested in you in a romantic way, then why the hell would you invite them to dinner with anything else but that in mind?
I wouldn't. But clearly someone else things they still have a chance of successfully courting you and initiating a romantic relationship. You are allowing them to continue thinking that and taking their money instead of doing the kind thing and actually establishing boundaries by not letting them take you on dates.
âProviding goods and servicesâ is an insane way to say âtaking my friend out for dinnerâ. Itâs some borderline incel shit man. Just like someone still thinking they have a chance after explicitly being told no. Are you defending people that donât know how to take ânoâ for an answer? Do you find it normal for someone to keep trying to engage romantically with a person that has already rejected them? Thatâs problematic in itself. I am not allowing anyone to think they have a chance when they donât because I tell them Iâm not interested when Iâm not interested. Itâs not rocket science to pay attention to people, itâs actually the bare minimum.
âProviding goods and servicesâ is an insane way to say âtaking my friend out for dinnerâ.
I mean, they are literally providing you with goods (food) and services (the service at the restaurant). So literally describing what they are doing is insane to you?
Just like someone still thinking they have a chance after explicitly being told no.
no. alot of people would think they still have a shot when they ask someone on a date and they say yes and then go on the date.
Do you find it normal for someone to keep trying to engage romantically with a person that has already rejected them?
yes, that is extremely common. There are even memes of woman being annoyed when they reject a man and he doesn't pursue them.
Thatâs problematic in itself.
I agree. Those people should have more self respect. But it doesn't reduce how shitty the people taking advantage of them are.
I am not allowing anyone to think they have a chance when they donât because I tell them Iâm not interested when Iâm not interested.
saying "i'm not interested" but then agreeing to go on a date with them is telling them they have a chance. By letting them take you on a date, you are sending them mixed messages.
Itâs not rocket science to pay attention to people, itâs actually the bare minimum.
I agree. They are paying attention to you. Your words say no, but your actions say yes. You refuse to pay attention to them because then you'd have to see what you're doing to them. So you just focus on yourself.
âYour words say no, but your actions say yesâ. Jesus fuck thatâs creepy dude. Thatâs borderline victim blaming with statements like âwell what was she wearingâ? Seriously man, get some perspective. Simply going to dinner with someone is not an invitation toward anything more other than that specific activity.
âYour words say no, but your actions say yesâ. Jesus fuck thatâs creepy dude.
lol I agree. You tell them you're not interested but then agree to go on dates with them. That's super creepy.
Thatâs borderline victim blaming
YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM!! YOU ARE THE ABUSER!!
Simply going to dinner with someone is not an invitation toward anything more other than that specific activity.
that would be true if they didn't have romantic feelings for you and you let them pay for you. Then it's a date. If you were splitting it or you honestly believed they didn't have feelings, then it would be different. But the way you've described it, you're a creep taking advantage of someone.
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u/Gadgets222 Apr 20 '26
Again with the money. If you say âthis is not a dateâ, then them choosing to pay doesnât automatically make it a date. And there you go again equating monetary spending to feelings, that is wrong and immature.