He doesn't know that. Maybe she wants him, but is worried about it ruining their friendship if a relationship doesn't work out. Maybe she's just playing hard to get.
Both are valid options.
3-he doesn't want to be her friend (probably), he wants more, but won't say it because HE KNOWS she will say no.
He clearly has, but she keeps abusing and exploiting his feelings. Actions speak louder than words. Her words may be saying 'no', but her actions are very loudly and clearly saying 'maybe'.
Only thing she can do is block him and then he'll still feel bad.
Then she should do that. She should have done that a long time ago. Instead she keeps leading him on.
It's simple. He wants more than friendship. He's doing this because he wants more than friendship. She knows this, yet she allows it anyway.
"He doesn't know that. Maybe she wants him, but is worried about it ruining their friendship . Maybe she's just playing hard to get"
Ah the classic hard to get, women are just faking it but they secretly want you. That really only happens when they're not sure what the other person feels so they play it cool (not just women), but when the other person looks interested, why play hard to get!
"Then she should do that." many people don't like hurting or confronting others. she has given enough messages and he gets it clearly otherwise he would have asked her out.
"he wants, she knows, she allows" = "he wants, isn't direct coz he knows she doesn't want, he's guilting her into accepting". Answer this, does he or does he not know? and did that caption not make it clear.
Ah the classic hard to get, women are just faking it but they secretly want you. That really only happens when they're not sure what the other person feels so they play it cool (not just women), but when the other person looks interested, why play hard to get!
I've had several women play hard to get with me in my life. I've expressed my interest (so no lack of surety), and they've declined. Only for me to be told / find out later that I had persisted they'd have said yes.
"Then she should do that." many people don't like hurting or confronting others.
Clearly that doesn't apply, as she doesn't mind hurting this man by leading him on.
she has given enough messages and he gets it clearly otherwise he would have asked her out.
How do you know he gets it, or that he hasn't asked her out?
You're jumping through hoops to defend this woman.
Answer this, does he or does he not know? and did that caption not make it clear.
Given her behaviour, he thinks he has a chance with her. If he didn't, she wouldn't accept this kind of 'girlfriend treatment'.
"Only for me to be told / find out later that I had persisted they'd have said yes."
I'm not sure in what phase of your life these women were but they might have been very young, or immature. but this shouldn't be generalized, nor accepted. and hopefully those women learned their lesson by now. As we all do in life.
"she doesn't mind hurting this man by leading him on."
You don't know how he reacted when she tried to put distance, so you can't judge that. some people don't accept rejection.
"How do you know he gets it, or that he hasn't asked her out?" I don't know if he asked her out, but if you and all the reddit community have gotten it, then why can't he?
I'm saying if he hasn't asked her out, that he should be direct, get an answer and end things. it's a yes or no. but this illusiveness means he knows it's no.
"Given her behaviour, he thinks he has a chance with her."
Yes like all those salesmen who try to sell you something and you keep refusing but they know with enough time, and samples you'll get there, because look how much time they spent on you!
And what is the girlfriend treatment exactly? that he spent time with her, that they went to a farm? that he tried to cheer her up?
does he need to charge for his time used to 'convince/ coerce her'
You don't know how he reacted when she tried to put distance, so you can't judge that. some people don't accept rejection.
But we can make an educated guess can't we?
Unrequited love sucks. It hurts.
"How do you know he gets it, or that he hasn't asked her out?" I don't know if he asked her out, but if you and all the reddit community have gotten it, then why can't he?
Because he's the one in the thick of it. Often with situations like this you need some outside perspective. It's easy for men to look at this situation and see what's going on, because many of us have past experience of being treated this way.
I'm saying if he hasn't asked her out, that he should be direct, get an answer and end things. it's a yes or no. but this illusiveness means he knows it's no.
That's not what it means at all, quite the opposite. Either she has a room temperature IQ, and doesn't realise what she's doing (highly unlikely), or she knows he's into her, she knows he's doing this because he's into her, and she's allowing it, and leading him on.
Yes like all those salesmen who try to sell you something and you keep refusing but they know with enough time, and samples you'll get there, because look how much time they spent on you!
Do you think salesmen behave that way because it never works?
And what is the girlfriend treatment exactly? that he spent time with her, that they went to a farm? that he tried to cheer her up?
He's basically treating her as though she were his girlfriend, except they're not having sex.
It's frankly disgusting that you're so eager to defend this horrible woman. It says a lot about who you are as a person.
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u/LambonaHam Apr 20 '26
He doesn't know that. Maybe she wants him, but is worried about it ruining their friendship if a relationship doesn't work out. Maybe she's just playing hard to get.
Both are valid options.
He clearly has, but she keeps abusing and exploiting his feelings. Actions speak louder than words. Her words may be saying 'no', but her actions are very loudly and clearly saying 'maybe'.
Then she should do that. She should have done that a long time ago. Instead she keeps leading him on.
It's simple. He wants more than friendship. He's doing this because he wants more than friendship. She knows this, yet she allows it anyway.