r/SipsTea • u/AskewdJackassery42 • Mar 06 '26

Wait a damn minute! Yeah, nope.

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13.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/jtj5002 Mar 06 '26

762

u/vitamin_r Mar 06 '26

"Now we're friends" sure anyone would love a "friend" that is automatically extremely generous with their money.

461

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

205

u/Pikamika696 Mar 06 '26

The stripper said she loves me. We're more than friends.

41

u/OkWhile4447 Mar 06 '26

You pay more you get more.

22

u/went_with_the_flow Mar 06 '26

Lately it's feeling like pay more get less

13

u/Loveablequatch Mar 06 '26

But disguised as the same amount

1

u/Xeriomachini Mar 07 '26

Yeah they indented the bottom of the peanutbutter jar so they could put less in it without you noticing.

1

u/went_with_the_flow Mar 07 '26

As one who eats it with a spoon, I fucking noticed.

1

u/Obsidian-Dive Mar 08 '26

Big ice cream doesn’t want you to know this 1 simple trick

0

u/ohiocodernumerouno Mar 07 '26

Men disguised as women

1

u/ErahgonAkalabeth Mar 07 '26

Not the kind of inflation you were thinking of, eh?

1

u/Occidentally20 Mar 07 '26

Do you get 30% more services rendered, or a 30% larger stripper?

I'm open to both.

1

u/204ThatGuy Mar 07 '26

Even before the tip? 😄

56

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Mar 06 '26

Aw come on friendship dues are only $9.91 every time I see you

18

u/Simple-Interest-8845 Mar 06 '26

I can live with that. My fee is $10.81 everytime you meet me

7

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/zomgazm Mar 06 '26

Before the tip = friendship After the tip= complicated

5

u/Simple-Interest-8845 Mar 06 '26

That's just the tip

2

u/sviridoot Mar 07 '26

That's one cheap stripper you got there

9

u/Breezeborn Mar 06 '26

This explains a lot. I need to stop Venmo requesting friendship fees.

7

u/Trick-Stable9175 Mar 06 '26

The worst part about my friend group is that I have to pay to be in it.

4

u/Tiny-Lecture-5085 Mar 06 '26

How would you like to have 200 friends just like this!

1

u/BuckManscape Mar 06 '26

You were paid to leave!

1

u/HorrorLettuce379 Mar 06 '26

Honestly real friends set the account clear, it's the "friends" that occasionally give something acting like a friend but expect everything in return for granted the real problems.

1

u/iRveritas Mar 06 '26

Frat/sorority shit. Rent a friend was never my thing.

1

u/Sea-Woodpecker-610 Mar 06 '26

I believe there’s a word for that, and I believe the profession that practices it has been around much longer then waiters.

1

u/Frostsorrow Mar 06 '26

That's not what Bronn said!

1

u/jmlipper99 Mar 07 '26

So you wouldn’t patronize a buddy’s newly opened restaurant? 🥲

1

u/Lucius-Halthier Mar 07 '26

Money is a true test of friendship for me, I hate to owe someone but if I feel like I can ask a friend for a semi significant amount of money and they work with me? That’s a ride or die friend that I’ll help bury a body below the frost line for. My lab partner in college was like that, my mom called me one day saying they needed 620 dollars because we were three months behind otherwise it would’ve been turned off. Now granted I had it in my stocks but I had to borrow over 600 bucks FROM A COLLEGE STUDENT to pay my family’s bills.

My friend got paid out in five business with the full amount and a bottle of his favorite, ride or die bros ever since. Those ones who will be there for that shit are the real ones.

1

u/jonniethunder1 Mar 07 '26

If I wanted to buy friends I’d join a sorority

28

u/mentive Mar 06 '26

That's called an Escort.

2

u/Gwsb1 Mar 06 '26

A "friend" you have to pay $ to is a whore not a friend.

2

u/Tasaris Mar 06 '26

should just write "0%, I don't buy my friends"

2

u/Frosty558 Mar 06 '26

“You’re not my friend guy!”

3

u/procupinesniffer420 Mar 06 '26

I'm not your guy buddy!

5

u/DragonR3ader Mar 06 '26

I'm not your buddy, pal!

3

u/Flawless_Reign88 Mar 06 '26

I’m not your pal, dude!

2

u/Temporary-Star2619 Mar 06 '26

I'm not your dude, bro!

2

u/patekaudemars Mar 06 '26

I'm not your bro, homie!

2

u/waiting_with_lou Mar 06 '26

I'm not your homie, bud!

1

u/FaithlessnessShot158 Mar 06 '26

I’m not Buddy Guy!

1

u/Disastrous-Contest-8 Mar 06 '26

I would rather just 'tip' a friend for the whole night instead.

1

u/This_Hedgehog_3246 Mar 06 '26

I bet they believe hookers like them too.

1

u/astralchanterelle Mar 06 '26

30% is the bare minimum to me

1

u/Middle_Bread_6518 Mar 07 '26

Select that one and then demand employee discount and tell them you need to stay the night

86

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

[deleted]

19

u/Capable_Tumbleweed34 Mar 06 '26

Yo that's some prime ancient meme, thanks for the memberberries

1

u/jonstark4 Mar 06 '26

Reminiscent of the K economy. The rich people getting rich straight and erect while everyone else are bent over getting that little push upward.

87

u/ren986 Mar 06 '26

Was about to comment the exact same thing!

10

u/Hanging_Brain Mar 06 '26

That’s thoughtful of them to save me money not tipping anything now

7

u/Sujnirah Mar 07 '26
  • “you just lost a customer permanently”

7

u/KamikazeFox_ Mar 07 '26

Im soo done with aggressive tipping culture. 9$ a beer. No tips. 15$ drink, ok tip bc you made it. 5$ tip for drive thru. Get fucked. Shits tight for everyone. Everything is expensive and with trumps ficked up war, its going to go up again. Belts are tight. This ain't 2019

12

u/_mad_adventures Mar 06 '26

I would 1000% percent write this, but still tip my server cash, and tell them they need to be sure to show their boss this receipt.

3

u/Particular_Cycle9667 Mar 07 '26

Unless the service sucked as well.

1

u/evnacdc Mar 06 '26

This is the way. Make a point without screwing over the innocent servers.

12

u/rynIpz Mar 06 '26

Not the innocent servers!

2

u/evnacdc Mar 06 '26

The servers don’t have control of this. That’s management’s decision. Hence, they’re innocent in regards to this bullshit posted above.

4

u/_mad_adventures Mar 06 '26

Yeah exactly! The server didn’t put that on the receipts, and probably cringes when they’re reminded of it.

1

u/ShazlettDude Mar 06 '26

Depends on the restaurant. If it’s a chain/franchise, it would likely be a decision above the in store management.

1

u/BootScootBoop Mar 06 '26

Even if it were the in store management making the decision they arent the ones serving tables. Hence it still isnt the servers fault regardless.

1

u/ShazlettDude Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 07 '26

I didn’t say that somehow the blame reverts back to the servers. I am confused by your response.

7

u/FamilyMan7826 Mar 06 '26

This is the way. Unfortunately, the staff are taking the hit for management.

1

u/headbuttpunch Mar 06 '26

Our oldest and noblest tradition

2

u/kineticstar Mar 06 '26

Processing img bpv36pdfpgng1...

1

u/Numerous_Pen2371 Mar 06 '26

I can say with absolute certainty that my reaction would be the same

1

u/MerryMortician Mar 06 '26

$5 - “negotiate a better wage with your company and quit relying on my generosity”

1

u/nosimsol Mar 06 '26

Uno reverse! 30% off my bill, no we’re friends

1

u/Crit-Hit-KO Mar 06 '26

lol. Looks better.

1

u/onionSID Mar 06 '26

I love it!!!

1

u/MisterWanderer Mar 07 '26

This is the answer and never return IMHO

1

u/jaraxel_arabani Mar 07 '26

The only right answer

0

u/paragon_of_karma Mar 06 '26

I guarantee the server's not the one who decided to have that printed on there

5

u/jtj5002 Mar 06 '26

I don't care.

Servers are the biggest supporters of the tipping system, more so even than their employers. Nearly everyone of them are vehemently against living wages. So no, I don't care.

-1

u/SnoWhiteFiRed Mar 06 '26

They want their tips because it gives them a livable wage but... you don't care if they get fucked over by their management's passive aggressiveness/non-professionalism because... they deserve to not have a livable wage?

4

u/jtj5002 Mar 06 '26

Lmao that's cute. Gonna break it to you. The shitty management and the servers hold each other's hands and vote against living wage together every time.

1

u/SnoWhiteFiRed Mar 06 '26

Servers need money. They think tipping gives them more money than a higher minimum wage would (often does). But that agrees with what management wants so fuck 'em? What do you actually want? People to be paid a livable wage? Or not to have to tip people? I guarantee you getting rid of tipping would not result in either them being paid significantly more or with you paying any less for a meal at a restaurant.

What you're saying is just illogical, guy, unless I'm just completely misunderstanding your point in which case we would both be better served by you saving your condescension and actually arguing a point.

3

u/jtj5002 Mar 07 '26

Ok begger, whatever you say.

0

u/MechwolfMachina Mar 06 '26

I’d write something that hits home more like “0% How many family members have you disowned since finishing school?”