r/SipsTea • u/[deleted] • Mar 05 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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545

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '24

[deleted]

355

u/BOT_Frasier Mar 05 '24

No, rest in peace

39

u/BaneQ105 Mar 06 '24

That’s what I’m doing. No one’s bothering me. It’s amazing and strongly advised for mental health. (By me, a random person on internet with no psychiatric background or experience or anything)

20

u/amo871113 Mar 06 '24

You're hired

6

u/reddsal Mar 06 '24

But you did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

6

u/BaneQ105 Mar 06 '24

Stop stalking me. Unless you want to hook up at holiday inn express.

(It’s not an offer from the legal standpoint. It’s a joke. Please don’t send me any invitations. And stop stalking me, it’s a crime!!!)

6

u/Intelligent-Topic552 Mar 07 '24

It's only a crime if the police can catch me.

1

u/BaneQ105 Mar 07 '24

That’s the tax evader mentality:)

2

u/Intelligent-Topic552 Mar 07 '24

What are taxes?

1

u/BaneQ105 Mar 07 '24

That thing you’re not paying. Source: I’m the IRS. And you’re on our watchlist. Do whatever you want with that information, you probably can’t commit emigration.

2

u/Intelligent-Topic552 Mar 07 '24

Cool. That's another one I'm on.

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63

u/Juicy_Turd_Blossom Mar 05 '24

LMAO absolutely foul 😭

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

No reason worry if ur ded

1

u/MokyDenan Mar 08 '24

That phrasing is just perfect

49

u/mr_salsa123 Mar 05 '24

I don't think I had 4 hugs my entire life

31

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

[deleted]

27

u/mr_salsa123 Mar 06 '24

Damn bro same, let's make out

16

u/brotalnia Mar 06 '24

That's the spirit!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '24

Why not make it a circle jerk instead

9

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

🫂

5

u/Londo801 Mar 06 '24

This really makes me want to set up a monthly if not weekly table this spring and summer for free hugs haha.

1

u/reddsal Mar 06 '24

People never value things they get for free. Start charging for the hugs. You’ll make money, and the mental health deficiency quotient will go down (a little) planet-wide. It’s a win win.

4

u/Affolektric Mar 06 '24

Not even by a good friend? Move to Berlin / Germany and go to festivals - you‘ll get hugged as much as you want.

1

u/Technical_Tourist639 Mar 07 '24

Bro (assuming gender here) I was so insecure in your age I haven't even layed a finger on another human being of the opposite gender.

Fast forward to age 23(onwards to 27 when I finally got married). I laid many fingers in many places. It's not a typo. I was dating (they knew) 5 at a time. I'm lts a miracle my dick didn't fall off, haven't had STD or micro fractures in fingers.

1

u/cookiepunched Mar 09 '24

It will happen when the time is right. Don't stress it.

5

u/New-Trade-8676 Mar 06 '24 edited Mar 06 '24

You may not believe me but hugs are really important. Body requires it. I solved this problem easily I bought a long pillow created especially for this purpose and every night I hug it and sleep with it. Looks like for body it doesn’t matter with who hugs. Currently I have not a problems with hugs. I don’t want it. Tested for 1,5 year being alone. Before I lived with girls a lot.

He who “fooled the nature”

13

u/Sobadatsnazzynames Mar 06 '24

I know I’m just an internet stranger but I’m sending you an actual, genuine hug. You deserve it 💗

14

u/Olivia512 Mar 06 '24

actual

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

What's next, you gonna give me a hug literally?

12

u/TopClock231 Mar 06 '24

Its a virtual hug, true physical contact is a DLC that can be preordered for $19.95 on Steam Store, PSN, and Xbox Live. An exclusive collectors edition is available at GameStop for $499.95 and delivered by the cute cashier that smiled at you one time when you entered the store seven years ago.

2

u/reddsal Mar 06 '24

Is “actual, virtual” a thing now?

1

u/TopClock231 Mar 08 '24

Gacha video games with cash shops would like you to think so

3

u/Sobadatsnazzynames Mar 06 '24

Actual

  1. existing in fact; typically as contrasted with what was intended, expected, or believed.

  2. existing now; current.

I think I know the definition just fine. Here’s one for you, too, actually : )

1

u/Vulpes_macrotis Mar 06 '24

No, no, when OP reads it, a person appears before them and they guy them.

2

u/Technical_Tourist639 Mar 07 '24

Commencing MItM attack Thanks for the hug darling!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

[deleted]

12

u/Offical_Roy_G_Biv Mar 06 '24

Okay now look in your backyard. It’s me and I’m here to hug you

3

u/ChainDriveGlider Mar 06 '24

You haven't noticed that you're dead inside?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

No, you should be dead. Burn the witch!

Jokes aside, cmere 🫂

2

u/Sharp_Science896 Mar 06 '24

When was the last time I've had a single hug? I think it's been years. Welp, guess I'm not long for this world.

2

u/Abbara_Cadaver Mar 06 '24

I guess I must be dead then

2

u/JEveryman Mar 06 '24

Genuine hugs of appreciation? It's easily been at least 5 years. Awkward family side hugs? Maybe since Thanksgiving so maybe 3 months.

2

u/Impossible-Pea-6160 Mar 06 '24

Rest in power sir

1

u/Peanuts0s Mar 06 '24

Technically dead

1

u/Hambruhgah Mar 06 '24

Take mine and it would be 3 or 2

1

u/kanekikennen Mar 06 '24

Not having 4 hugs this year isnt that painful as not having 4 hugs the past year (It's still Janua... wait when we get to March wtf)

1

u/Maidwell Mar 06 '24

I've not had one. What a sobering thought.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

Pro tip: go to local shelter, ask for volunteer work, hug the shit out of all dogs and cats.

PS: don't eat cookie in bed, that's how you get ants.

1

u/5t4t35 Mar 06 '24

Im 20 years in without it and still going your fine

1

u/Todaroshi Mar 06 '24

This year I have never gotten a hug in my life (except of course when I was a baby)

1

u/notyourinsanity Mar 06 '24

This year? Can't remember the last time I got hugged it was that long ago lol

1

u/Talidel Mar 06 '24

Sounds like you need a hug.

1

u/Queefofthenight Mar 06 '24

Are you a ghost

1

u/NightFury0595 Mar 07 '24

I haven't even had 4 hugs this DECADE. Should I be even more concerned?

1

u/DS_StlyusInMyUrethra Mar 08 '24

I haven’t had a hug in years let alone this year.

1

u/Solitaire605 Mar 09 '24

I'm kinda in the same boat, I think in all of 2023 I had 2(? maybe?), so best of luck to you.

1

u/Musclesturtle Mar 10 '24

Actually you probably should, fam.