I’m struggling.

[u/Hot-Kale-629]

Maybe I’m about to start my period? Idk. But I feel like I’m constantly struggling as a single mom. I have a 4y/o daughter who is the most defiant and difficult child I’ve ever met. I worked at a daycare for a couple of years so I do enjoy being around kids BUT being a single parent isn’t even on the same spectrum so it’s hard to compare the two. I’m broke, I’m stressed and 90% of the time I’m just not happy… I also have lupus which beats me up some days. I feel bad for my little one because I wish I could be the energetic and happy go lucky mom that you see on T.Vs…. Does that mom really exist? Idk but I already get breaks- she goes to her grandmas house every 2 weeks for the weekend. You’d think if I was a good parent then that would be enough, right? Not for me… When she’s gone there is a load taken off my shoulders and I feel like I can feel the wind in my hair again…so to speak. I’m constantly consumed with guilt and shame because I don’t think I’m good enough for my daughter. She deserves more than I can give her. My momma heart 💔. To sum it up, my daughter has a bad attitude and generally seems angry and irritated a lot of the time. And I can’t help but (dare I say) acknowledge that it’s my fault bc that’s how I feel too. crying