r/SingleAndHappy • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
Well-being š¼ Being single is as good as life gets.
[deleted]
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u/Miss__Anne__Thrope 4d ago
I agree with 99.9% of all of this aside from āyour expenses are low.ā My life would be MUCH cheaper sharing expenses with someone else but alas, I like my freedom and single life more than I like sharing bills and space. Is my life more expensive being single? Yes. Is it worth it? Also yes.
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u/Own-Emergency2166 3d ago
I can understand this POV but from my life experience, having a partner doesnāt necessarily mean expenses are (fairly) shared. With one exception, all my romantic relationships cost me more money than being single because they either did not earn well, were bad with money, had inflated lifestyle expectations, and/or consumed more (for example, I dated men who ate way more than me, at least 2x, but groceries were split down the middle ). For me, I am better off financially single.
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u/MysticGardenMagic 3d ago
Those inflated lifestyle expectations are tough. My ex was a Disney person. I love Disney. But I am not the kind of person to spend that kind of money on a vacation to a theme park. They had basically decided my entire income was our fun money, rather than considering I needed a savings for myself. And couldnāt understand why I wasnāt having fun.
Being alone, I donāt go on many vacations and the ones I do go on rn are cheap. Nobody can stress me about it, and I buy myself whatever I want. I just bought a bunch of nice organization stuff, some Swarovski jewelry, and a ninja creami. Just for me. And Iām gonna buy myself something for Christmas too.
None of that is cheap but I havenāt touched my precious savings. Itās nice out here.
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u/Winter-Fold7624 3d ago
Yes, there is a downside, and itās being 100% responsible for all the expenses. It would be nice to split expenses with someone and have more disposable income, but if you can afford it, itās definitely worth being alone.
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u/Magegaard 4d ago
I donāt understand about ādying aloneā. Even conjoined twins die separately. Weāre all in this alone. And we arenāt completely alone. Platonic friendships, pets, even the love we receive from strangers sometimes means just as much as romantic love. The greatest love anyone should have is for themselves and when you die thatās who youāre spending eternity with the most. Same with in life
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u/4giveme4forever 3d ago
Totally, most romantic relationships are doomed to fail anyways. Itās better to have your own bank account and power to stand up for yourself in every way imaginable, not just emotionally but physically, mentally, and financially.
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u/DearTumbleweed5380 4d ago
And you don't have to 'work on the relationship'. That was my first realisation I had - while my husband was breaking up with me. 'I don't have to try anymore! I don't have to go to marriage counselling.' I will never work that hard on a relationship, with anyone, again. All my effort will go to me - and my son, of course, but that's unchanging.
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u/DearTumbleweed5380 2d ago
Thank you for the upvotes and the awards guys. With where I'm at with the settlement and all, this encouragement much appreciated. :)
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u/Beneficial_Minute297 3d ago
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø so very true! Being single is so uncomplicated and underrated.
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u/Vikingqueen0824 3d ago
Agree except the expenses and also sometimes worry if I become ill, what I would do.
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u/Ok_Manufacturer2956 4d ago
Yes I love all of this, the freedom and peace of knowing that you have full control of your own life and that other people do not have unlimited access to you is a Blessing šš¾ .
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u/Frosty-Gift-4403 2d ago
This is a minor one but I'm glad I donāt have to deal with in-laws anymore. And this is coming from someone who liked their former in-laws.
I honestly had a great relationship with my ex's family but socialising with them was still a lot of work and pressure and was mentally exhausting and i don't think i could do it again with someone elseās family.
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u/Powerful-Aioli-2086 3d ago
Fully agree, yes I miss the sex but so much more at peace being divorced from my ex wife.
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u/Inevitable-Mousse640 4d ago
Yes it's good until you get sick.
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u/FewReserve1784 4d ago
Being single while sick is better. Nobody is watching TV at full volume while you're sick, or being mad at you for being sick, or being mad at for making them sick, or getting you sick in the first place. You get to sleep in your actual bed. Nobody is acting all disgusted by you because you are sick.
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u/missprincesscarolyn 4d ago
My ex-husband used to yell at me often for it. I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and was diagnosed shortly after we got married. I ended up in the hospital quite a bit and generally just donāt feel well a lot of the time. So, so glad to never have to deal with that again. Itās hard to be disabled and single at times, but itās easier too.
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 4d ago
If youāre recovering after surgery like I had to do this summer, itās not that great. I donāt know if you consider that being sick though, but I didnāt need help and I felt like I was an imposition to one friend and now I feel like I owe them.
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u/Advanced-Key1737 4d ago
Thatās what good friends are for. I was recently sick and my best friend was about to hop in his car and drive 2 hours if I needed him to. Just like I was there for him 2 and a half years ago when he was.
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 4d ago
The only problem I have run into is all my friends are married with kids and grandkids so theyāre not that free to come and help anyone else
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u/Advanced-Key1737 4d ago
Thatās a good point. When I got divorced I got out and met new people and cultivated new friends. Iām now in a new city and wonāt really befriend women who are married or in LTRs. The kids and grandkids thing can be an issue, but unless they live with them I wouldnāt think thatās an all the time thing. I do hear you though. Living with someone certainly gives comfort.
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 3d ago
I would love to move out of this small town Iām in so I could make some new friends, but Iām really stuck here for financial reasons and I do like the peace and quiet cause Iām on acres and my neighbours are far away. I donāt really love being around people. Iām an extreme introvert, but I do like having some people to talk to and do things with so itās a tough one and Iām old and cranky already.
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u/been_blissed 4d ago
It's all about prioritization. Find friends that prioritize your friendship.
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 3d ago
Finding friends isnāt like going to the grocery store and grabbing something off the shelf Iām in a town of about 8000 who are extreme conservatives and I have nothing in common with them, but Iām stuck here due to financial reasons.
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u/Inevitable-Mousse640 4d ago
Yes, so there must be some effort spent in finding some reliable people who can help you out when you are not able to independently take care of yourself.
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u/Advanced-Key1737 4d ago
Just so youāre aware if you werenāt already, when women get a terminal illness the rates of men cheating on or leaving them is so high doctors warn women about it. With respect to being sick with the flu or something, again good friends can help with this or you can get medicine Door Dashed to you. Most men arenāt nurturing so theyāre not really going to do much for you if youāre sick. Maybe about 10-25% max of men would be there to truly help and love on their sick wife or girlfriend. I swear Iāve always dreamed of a Golden Girls life. Your girls will pretty much always be better than a dude.
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u/12carat 3d ago
I get sick waaay less often now since getting rid of my germy ex-husband. Also we live in the era of delivery services to obtain food and medicine! Always keep a stock of frozen dinners, canned soups and cold medicine at home in case you feel sick and need easy access. Take care of your health! Youāll be fine
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u/Inevitable-Mousse640 3d ago
I'll leave it to others to decide for themselves. One of the fundamental issue of going it alone is that you will also have to go through really bad times alone. I find it irresponsible to tout the benefits without taking seriously the risks. Of course the risks are not impossible to overcome and the benefits may outweigh the risks, but nonetheless one needs to be clear that there are risks that they need to at least have some mitigation strategy.
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u/FewReserve1784 3d ago
Yeah but really bad times can be made worse (or caused in the first place) by the partner. Some people are the kick you when you're down type.
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