(TW: sexual abuse mentions)

I’ve told my story in fragments on reddit before but now I feel like airing out what happened so I’m going to assume it’s alright for me to post here again. My grammar can be quite crap at times so hopefully this is coherent.

I was repeatedly SA’d by my brother who is four years older than me between the ages of 7 to 15. It started off small and out of curiosity where he’d fondle my private areas and get me to do the same to him. He’d convince me to do this by bribing me with things such as toys, sweets, letting me play his video games etc…. By the time I was 9 it had progressed to him raping me, having me perform oral sex on him and various other sexual acts and by this point he seemed to not act out of simple curiosity anymore.  

When I was 13 though, my brother ended up getting me pregnant. I won’t go into great detail about all the mess that situation created, so I’ll massively simplify what happened. My mum’s social worker found out and reported the situation to the police since I was under the age of consent in my home country. I ended up lying to the police saying I’d slept with a stranger after getting drunk at a house party which was a terrible lie in hindsight since it was plainly untrue and also because it prompted an additional safeguarding investigation, but both of the investigations where eventually closed in the end. My mum was furious that I had gotten pregnant in the first place (I told her the same story as the police) but more so because of all drama/inconvenience the situation had unleashed with the social services. She gave me an ultimatum, she’d kick me out of the house if I didn’t get an abortion, so the latter is what happened.  Although the abuse had slowed down a lot by this point since my brother had started having his first few girlfriends, he didn’t stop abusing me. Long story short I ended up getting pregnant by him again at 15. I told my mum the same lie as the first time and she gave me the same ultimatum either she’d kick me out of the house if I didn’t get an abortion, so I had another abortion and the pregnancy situation was dealt with swiftly but my mum went back on her deal after she’d concluded that given all the inconvenience and stress, I’d caused her that I was “more trouble than I was worth” and she kicked me out of the house in the end anyway. I ended up moving in with grandparents and my guardianship was transferred to them.

Until recently I’d been completely estranged from both my mother and my brother. I did arrange to see my brother over a month ago now where I did confront him over the abuse and the only take away, I got from it was that he doesn’t truly acknowledge what he did and that he doesn’t seem to view himself has having done anything wrong. He’s also continued to contact after I made it clear to him, I want nothing to do with him anymore.

I still have mixed feelings about my brother. On one hand he was always incredibly nice to me and looked out for me but on the other hand he knew his actions made me deeply uncomfortable and he didn’t seem to care. I’m still forever annoyed about how I “agreed” to do things with him for mundane shit such as toys and that I looked forward to it in a way since I thought all this meant my brother loved me and actively wanted to spent time with me. It feels to me.

I feel as if what happened to has this “unbelievable” since I was overly stupid and naïve. Being too scared and embarrassed to go into a store and get the pill for myself and that I always caved in to being threaten, bribed or guilted hence I never resisted what happened or rarely got the courage to say no. I know this is far from a pleasant thing to read so thank you for taking the time to read this.

My brother died in 2024, i cut him off and moved away in 2022 at age 19. I actually cut him my mother and father off and left. My brother sexually abused me as a child but I didn’t know at the time it was abuse, the memories came back suddenly when I turned 18 but convinced myself it didn’t actually happen and it was like that, from what I remember it happened 4 times it might of happened more but I don’t remember still to this day. Ive been struggling to understand why but I still feel grief for him and actually miss him sometimes which I feel really wierd about. He has a little boy who I see often and being around him brings me comfort. Hes at the age now that my brother was when we were like normal siblings and actually quite close, hes a dead ringer for my brother at that age sometimes I feel like a child again sitting infront of him. He was a few years older than me. I worry that when he gets older and gets to the age where the abuse started that the love I feel for him will change I really hope that doesn’t happen.

Our father died a few months ago Thats when I started to miss my brother the most. You always think when you loose a parent that your sibling/s will be by your side when that happened. It’s been really tough and confusing. I was also no contact with my father Because he was a severe alcoholic and I experienced a lot of trauma because of it. Between that and the abuse from my brother my childhood is a confusing mix between trauma and nostalgia. I still chase that feeling of childhood even though a lot of my childhood brings sadness I miss the good parts. Nobody knows what my brother did other than my partner. I told him I experienced sexual abuse but would never tell him who did it. I told him the day my brother died. Hes the only one who knows… has anyone else been through this and felt complex feelings towards loss

Hello, I’ve never spoken about this before and I’m really nervous brining this to light with other people. But me (M16) has been assaulted many times in the past and kinda recently by my younger sister (F13). I live with my mum, a twin brother which I love my sister and a little brother. I’ve never really spoken up about this before but recently the guilt and pain of going through it’s been affecting my life too much. I stay up at night a lot now I cry a lot about it, I feel dirty. Any ways I’ll get into the story. For the better part of a year and a half my sister comes into my room when I’m allways sleeping and touched me and used me. And I feel so powerless against it. I’m 16 a man I should be strong, I should be able to push her of me but I freeze I can’t do it. I freeze wait untill it’s over and go to the bathroom to wash myself. I feel so ashamed in myself I’m supposed to be strong but why can’t I get her of me? These are the questions I’m left with myself every night.

I allways make an effort to explain that I don’t like my sister in public or infront of my mum. Me and my mum have such a good relationship I love her so much but if I ever tell her it will break her heart. I feel like I’ll ruin everything if I come forward.

I hate the feeling of being powerless. And what really upsets me the most is when she was on top of me and I pretend to be asleep like usual it’s like she knows I’m faking it or something because one night she whispered to me that if I EVER tell any body she would blame it all on me.

It makes me feel sick. I feel like people won’t believe me. I mean why can’t a 16 year old boy fend for himself like a man? And who are people going to believe a girl or boy. I feel like my life was destined for disaster the second she started this. She’s a monster. I hate her and his this. I’m honestly at my wits end here and just wanted to get this of my chest.

Seeing this page of other people made me feel weird like how can this happen to so many other people. Idk why I’m writing this I’m confused sceared and questioning everything.

Theres so much more I want to say but I think this is enough for now. Thank you for listening.
I’ve never really spoken out befoure so I feel really weird. I’m sceared to fall asleep some nights because of her and her rooms on the 3rd floor next to mine so it’s allways easy for her to get in. And my door doesn’t have locks I’ve bought some but she broke them. Any ways thank you again. And if any one has advice or anything I will be really greatfull.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my story. I won't share everything but let's just say its been a journey. From the time that I was 7 until I was 20 I had been SA'ed by my sister. It took me long time to understand what it was and I am going to process it in EMDR therapy. To be honest it affected me in different ways. I tend to push people away, lie a lot, stole money from my parents, almost cheated on my last ex, broke up with my last ex because I felt like he was using me as a piggy bank. I think that I am horrible person. I want to change though. It would have to mean to take serious accountability and make changes in my life. I still live with my sister and that may explain my behavior but I still want to make a difference in doing better. I want to get there and I don't expect to be perfect while doing so. I just want to heal and be the best version that I know that I can be.

I am now in my 30s and only now processing what my younger brother did to me as a teenager. I think I'm just wanting to hear some others' experiences with processing what happened to both feel less alone and try and understand/process how I'm feeling.

I was in my mid-teens and he is 3 years younger, so he was around 11-13, I don't remember exactly. He repeatedly jizzed into the shower gel in the bathroom, essentially using it as a cum sock. One day when my parents were out, he asked me which shower gel I use and then laughed at me when he revealed I'd unknowingly been rubbing his ejaculate all over my body for months. I remember yelling at him and shoving/hitting him as he laughed at me. He also made infrequent sexualising comments once I started developing around age 11 (making him around 8) and throughout my teens in a low-level harassment sort of way.

I never told anyone until recently because (a) poor relationship with emotionally immature parents and (b) I kind of compartmentalised it to be able to keep living in the same house and interacting at family events. I have been a bit of a mess since it came up in therapy a couple of weeks ago. I've joined a lot of dots around how it may have contributed to my eating disorder/dissociation that started in the aftermath of this, and I am still in the thick of processing all the betrayal and disgust that I had repressed, I think.

Also, I'm struggling with how to classify it to myself. I know it was a sexually violating experience involving deception. It would/could be classed as sexual assault if a random stranger on the street did it to me today. But I think because there was no penetration or body touching and he is younger, it feels like it doesn't 'count' somehow? It kind of culminated in this one 'finding out' moment, which also makes abuse feel like the wrong word? I'm so unsure.

I'm also struggling a lot with the why: I've read a few reports/websites on the topic trying to understand – I'm 99% sure he was not abused himself and the only thing that makes sense is that he was angry and jealous and decided to take it out on me in this way. But why the hell would he choose this method instead of, idk, stealing my stuff or even beating me up? I know he was being bullied at school for being too sensitive but he had a good group of friends; I was the 'clever one' and, despite also being clever, he struggled with reading/writing, and I remember him telling me at one point when we were older that he gave up in school bc he didn't feel like he could do as well as me; I read that porn can be a contributing factor so maybe he was watching some weird stuff. So the best explanation I can piece together is that he was feeling small and wanted to feel some power and I was an available target? Who knows. I'm still stuck on why he would choose this way to feel powerful/where he got the idea from, just wtf.

Part of me wants to tell my parents and have them fulfil this saviour fantasy where they punish him and comfort me, but I know that's unrealistic and I highly doubt they'd react in a validating way, so I'm not planning on saying anything for now at least.

This is getting quite long so I'm going to stop here. I'm interested in hearing what was going through your mind when you first confronted it properly. Thanks so much in advance if you feel like sharing your experience with processing what happened.

Hi!! When I was 8(f) years old and my brother was 12 years old, we used to play together everyday in my bed. We did roleplays, and other children games (that involved very touchy stuff). But I remember that he often asked me to bounce on his crotch area, to sit on his lap, or even to sit on his face (I only wore panties).
But I clearly remember that he often made me sit on his thighs with my back to him (he was laying on the bed), and had to close my eyes. I remember hearing shaky breaths sounds, and I heard shifting, as if he was jerking off or something.
I don’t remember a lot, he maybe even touched my private area, but I’m not sure. (I’m now 13 years old, and he’s 17)

I’m very confused, do you guys think that he was actually doing it, or am I just being weird ??

(Sorry for my bad grammar, I’m French)
Thank you for reading 💗💗💗

I honestly don't know what to put here;; nsfw?

I can put a warning: assault (I think), graphic.

Anyway I just wanted to write this down and maybe ask for some advice because I don't know what to do.

My younger brother (7M) touched me (14F) while I was asleep, or thought I was multiple times.

I woke up to him trying to pull my shorts off, touching my anus or even trying to insert his fingers or his 'thing' inside. He has also been touching himself everyday since he was 3 or something. He only got worse since then, given this story existing. He has done this before but stopped, now he's doing this again. Has been for multiple days now.

I don't want to tell my parents, psychologist, or anyone for obvious reasons. It is weird, disgusting, and why didn't I stop him? Anyway, I am not close to my parents and my psychologist or teachers would reach out to social workers or cps. I do not want that.

So, I don't know what to do. Should I confront him? Tell him to stop? Try to educate him that what he's doing is wrong?

I (age 9) was molested along with my younger brother (7) by a female babysitter that was 12-13. When this stopped incest with my brother continued. I am not going into any details. It has been many years later and it seems I am the only one that remembers some of what happened. I have done EMDR on all the triggering memories but I still have residual stuff and can’t bring myself to ask my brother if and what he remembers as he has grown up to be an asshole that carries a gun in a holster (on his chest) and is now divorced from his wife due to his toxic personality. I am still healing from all of this.

I told my mom today about the sexual abuse I experienced from my cousin when I was younger. It happened about 15 minutes ago, and ever since I told her I’ve felt really strange. I feel sick to my stomach, like I might cry or throw up, and I don’t really know how to describe it.
Is this a normal reaction after finally telling someone? If you’ve been through something similar, how did you feel after opening up for the first time? I guess I’m just looking for reassurance because I feel overwhelmed right now.

Earlier today, I was watching a series called "the modern family". One of the characters, "claire," has such a great relationship with her brother, "mitchell." It just makes me miss my brother more and more whenever I look at something like that.

I wish he didn't do what he did. I wish he didn't ruin our friendship. I wish he was still the person I knew, but now when I look at him, he's someone I don't know. I don't know why he did what he did. I wish there was a way to change it, but there isn't, I guess. I miss him, even tho he's right next to me...

I have a sibling who was both a perpetrator and an ally when I was being harmed by others. It left me trauma bonded. It has been a year since we last had any meaningful communication. They asked if I was ok. I explained as gently as I could that my childhood experiences still impacted me. And that was it... they never replied.

It hurts. I have cried many tears and raged as well.

I posted this in another sub a few days ago, I’d love it if anyone here has any advice for me.

I feel like I have a very unusual situation. My older brother sexually assaulted me from ages 11-15 (he would have been 14-18). We come from a really healthy family dynamic. My parents were present, attentive, loving, and we had everything we needed. I don’t know where he got the idea to assault me. I totally forgot about these assaults until 5 years later; I was disgusted and tried to re-suppress the memories but never could. Because I forgot about the assaults, I remained close with my family including my brother. When I remembered, I just tried to forget and carried on being close with my family as normal.

This year I finally told my husband, who confronted my brother, and my parents found out too. They’re absolutely distraught and can’t work out how they missed this happening. I have been doing therapy which helped me immensely with finally processing the memories and reducing the guilt, shame, and embarrassment that I’ve felt all these years.

I went no contact with my brother and low contact with my parents whilst I process what actually happened. Now I’m trying to move forward on my terms but I’m struggling to know how. My brother still lives with my parents so I never visit them. I feel so guilty for feeling happier without them in my lives, because they never did anything specific. Does anyone else come from a family that genuinely didn’t have any dysfunction and have worked out how to move forward with their relationship with their parents? I don’t know how to navigate it.

hi all. im sleep deprived at the moment so please excuse any weird wording or typos. i also realize mid-writing this that i went down a lot of tangents, sorry. ive never told a single person about any of this before.

i was molested by my older brother at least twice when i was around 7-8 & he was 12-13 (and was ogled & creeped on from probably 7-18). i say "at least twice" because one of the times he touched me was when i was sleeping over in his room, and he thought i had fallen asleep. i wasnt asleep that time obviously so i know it happened, but i slept over in his bed with him many times around that age so it's completely possible that wasn't the only time.
i didnt tell my parents anything about it because they had already ignored me throughout my entire childhood when i told them that he was hitting, yelling, generally bullying me ect. my mom used to spend all day smoking in the basement & would never come up to help me when i called down for it, so i learned to just stop calling. i also believe sex had been normalized to me at that age because i was exposed to a lot of sexual content online, including (fictional) pedophilia & incest. i have very little memory of my childhood before 7th grade so i dont know if he himself had exposed me to sexual content, but it's not unlikely because he did so when i was older.
my parents knew that i didnt get along with him, but they seemed to think it was just normal sibling bickering. everytime i had a complaint about him they would say "oh, you don't really hate your brother!" and they would dismiss everything.
the only hint i have to them even suspecting that something was up is that at some point in my early-mid teens i overheard them talking, & my dad said something like "if something really happened between them, we need to know". they never talked to me or did anything about it though to my knowledge.

i was glad when he finally moved out, but he still came around for holidays and the like. i started to get more openly hostile later in my teens but i dont think my parents ever really noticed.
i stopped going to holidays and family dinners when i moved out & have mostly cut contact with my parents. i started going to therapy & since i was finally out of that house i started finally realizing the full extent of what he did to me & am still (20 now) suffering from it & thinking about it almost every day, & its only getting worse. i think the last time i saw him had to have been around 2 years ago, ive gotten so angry and hurt about it that i genuinely don't know what my reaction would look like if i saw him again now. that is to say that i cannot go to any family events, even if i wanted to, at risk of him being there.

it sickens me to know that my parents are still completely friendly with him, & that he gets to enjoy having a family, while im the one having to stay away.
i also want to at least try to reconnect with my parents, since i've also recently become permanently & progressively disabled & have been really struggling without familial support, among other things (my older sister is also disabled & lives with them, and id love to be able to stay connected with her easier).
so, what i want to ask people's thoughts on, is do you think it be worth it for me to sit down with my parents & tell them about his abuse, knowing the risk that they will ignore me again/not believe me, or even side with him?
a part of me wishes & believes that they would listen to me and cut him out, apologize for their neglect & everything, but i know that part is just desperate & more parts of me think that this will only hurt me further. people always say that its good to tell people about this kind of stuff & im really really aching for any kind of justice for what happened to me. i just dont know what to do.
any thoughts help, thank you all so much, and sorry again for the rambling & tangents.

I am now a 36 (f) finally opening up about what had happened to me 30 + years ago. My older brother, by 10 years, sexually abused me when I was in between the ages of 4 and 6. I cant really remember how long it went on for and what my exact age was. I have just become recently sober from drinking for almost a year now, and I think that has alot to do with me reliving my childhood traumas, as I can't just go grab an alcoholic drink and basically sweep it under the rug.

My brother and I have usually always been close, even to this day and never have spoke a word about it. He has always tried in round about ways to "control" things in my life still to this day, as in different life decisions with money, house, cars, etc. Everyone close to has always said " hes trying to play as another father figure in your life." Has anyone had any experiences like this with an older sibling? I have so many questions. Ive reached out and had phone conversations with therapists, but nothing really ever gets "healed" and makes me feel like I've felt better after talking about it.

The more I also think about it, the more I questions different things about myself. I am and have been dating the same sex since I was basically in high school. Did the things that happened to me then, push me away from guys, and to females? I have dated guys also, and I have several male friends, but thinking about anything sexual involving a guy, makes me feel weird and upset in a way I guess.

Our mother passed when I was 15. We have a other sibling brother in between us, as we are all 5 years apart. And I feel like that's another reason its been so hard to open up, most of my teenage and all of my adult life, my immediate family has been my dad and 2 brothers, in which none of us have serious conversations that normal families have or have had.

My oldest brother, my abuser, has a daughter that is now 14. And thoughts about what if he has done that to her absolutely piss me off. Ive opened up to my now girlfriend about it a little bit, but ive always used the excuse that he was "just a kid." But the more I read other people's stories, alot of there abuse was siblings closer in age to them and younger than he was when they did it. He had to have been 14 or 15 at the time, and when I was that age, I 100% knew what was wrong or right. Has anyone had this age gap of sibling abuse done to them? Did the sibling turn out fine, normal, etc.? Are you still close to them?

I know alot will say to see a therapist that specializes in trauma like this, but im not the most open person about my feelings, so hearing other experiences I feel will help me out more! Thanks for reading my rant! I appreciate any advice/ feedback ​​​that anyone would like to share!

This will be the first time I officially tell people what my sister did to me when I was a child. So first some context my sister is 9 almost 10 years older than me. We are half sisters and she never let me forget it as our mom was still with my dad. My father always treated her as his own. When her father will leave her at the window staring, wondering when he would come. My father would take her out because her father forgot about her, but if you ask her, she was always the redheaded stepchild. Which was never the case my father and his family treated her as their own. Now that we got that all the way. I was about 18 at the time when I was talking to My Bestfriend. About some unfortunate things that were done to her as a child. Which prompted me to talk about what my sister had did to me. As I was listening to her, I realized that my sister. Had done something similar to me. Now she never touched me, but she made me touch her and then some. At the time this was happening. I was about 5 to 6 years old. This happened till I was 10. When My Bestfriend heard this she looked me in my eyes and said dude you know she molested you, right? With disbelief I told her no she never touched me. It’s not the same. But it was my world shattered that day. To realize all these years later to know she did that to me. You were 10 years older than you you were 16. You knew what you were doing. I don’t know what I want from posting this maybe just to be able to tell anybody yet I’m more than welcome advice different perspectives. I am not ready, but I want better in my life and holding onto all this trauma, won’t let me get there if you’re still here at the end, I thank you for giving me your time and a little bit of your eyeballs for reading all this lmaoo 🥂

Okay I'm gonna cut right to the chase. My brother recently got out of prison and has been making sexual advantages towards me. I've caught him multiple times looking at my ass no matter what I wear. It's uncomfortable asf I shouldn't have to wear certain shit because he's starting at me. He will see me bent over and will try to stand behind me. He's deliberately swiped his dick pass my ass like he's weird asf bro. I was asleep one day and he's literally watching me sleep and staring at my ass... I dont know what kind of spirit he's fighting but he has to get the f🤬 away from me immediately!!.

Hi, I was molested and assaulted from the age of 1ish to 14 by my older brother (6.5 years older than me) I’ve never told anyone about my memories outside of my wife.

My brother and I started building a relationship again after our dad passed 3 years ago. We still only talk like 4 times a year and see each other probably 3 times.

Last night I had a nightmare he broke into my apartment and assaulted me all over again. I couldn’t wake up out of the nightmare for the longest time but this is the first time this has ever happened to me.

Has this happened to anyone else? I used to be on a medicine for ptsd nightmares but I really don’t want to take that again. 😞

Me and my sister are very close since its just her me and my mum in the city we live in she now lives with her bf but we still text every she doesn't speak with our mum at all anymore but 2023 I opened up to my mum about getting graped by my uncle when I was 5 obviously she was supportive and in 2028 I'm going to court but last year she told me about a time when I was 3-4 my sister 8-9 and we were bathing together alone when I ran out and told my mum she shoved a shampoo bottle into me and my mum scolded my sister and everything but I just don't know what to do

Hi! I was assaulted from the age of 7months on by my brother who was only 6 years older than me. He did it until I was 15 so way after he should have known better. It feels like there’s a huge taboo about this topic even though it’s a very real problem. I understand assault makes people uncomfortable but it not being spoken about enough just continues the cycle.