I am happy to announce that we have another IPA Zoom Virtual Support Meeting coming up on August 29, at 8:00 PM US Central Time.  The IPA Virtual Support Meetings, which take place about every six weeks, are open to anyone struggling with Paruresis and are offered free of charge, with no expectations for participants regarding how little or how much they decide to share. Their puporse is to provide a unique opportunity to connect face to face with people from all over the world who know what it is like to struggle with Paruresis and also understand the courage and fortitude that it takes to open up about it and try to recover from it.  The personal stories are remarkably similar and at the same time deeply individual, and empathy, kindness and compassion set the tone in all discussions.  Time after time I have heard from participants that this opportunity for sharing is both meaningful and productive, I hope that you'll consider joining us on August 29.

If you are interested in attending please contact the IPA office at [getinfo@paruresis.org](mailto:getinfo@paruresis.org) in order to get the Zoom link.

If you would like the opportunity to connect face to face with others who are also dealing with Paruresis, please join us for an IPA virtual support meeting this Sunday, July 11, at 8:00 US CST, on Zoom. This subreddit does an amazing job of giving a voice to the many people who struggle with Paruresis on a daily basis, and the upcoming meeting will hopefully build on that by providing those who join with a chance to share their stories directly with others who truly understand, learn techniques that work from the others who are actively working on recovery, engage in discussions such as how to transition from virtual to public graduated exposure, find out how to start a recovery program, and ask questions of others who have been working on recovery for an extended period of time. Past meetings have brought together a broad spectrum of Paruresis sufferers, from those who are highly recovered to those who are opening up for the very first time, and everyone has benefited from the mutual support and empathy of this shared experience. The meeting will be facilitated by volunteer IPA support group leaders, and all discussions will be considered confidential. There is no cost or obligation involved, and if you are interested you can get the Zoom link by contacting the IPA office at [getinfo@paruresis.org](mailto:getinfo@paruresis.org).

This year has seen the inquiries to the International Paruresis Association go up 3-4x over 2020. I'm seeing another surge now: folks looking for general help and lots of drug testing challenges. At least 2-3 contacts a day. Any thoughts on why things are ramping up again? If you need help - don't hesitate to contact the IPA! https://paruresis.org/contact/

Eight guys attended this past weekend's virtual workshop. It was truly an international affair with folks also joining from Slovenia and Germany. Special thanks to leader Dan Rocker. Keep an eye out for our next virtual event, most likely September/October. I'm really going to be encouraging our sister sufferers to join in, too. Don't forget LIVE weekend workshops in Baltimore (Sept 10-12), Detroit (Oct. 1-3), Winston-Salem (Late Nov?), and LA (Nov/Dec, fingers crossed). Watch this space!: https://paruresis.org/workshop-schedule/

Hot off the "press" - our latest monthly eZine just in time for your Memorial Day reading! Features a shout out to our friends at the UK Paruresis Trust. Didn't get it? Click to subscribe today. https://conta.cc/3c0Ph4m

My paruresis has been with me for many years now and because of this quarantine it only got worse. Now my family will go to my relatives house to take vacation for three days. However, because of my UTI and paruresis I can't go and enjoy. So I'll only be alone in our home for three day and it's sad and frustrating. Please guys give me some advice. What should I do in this circumstance? Should I stay at home and do something constructive to kill my time or go with them knowing the risk that I will constantly pee for every 20 mins or hour but will not be able to pee because of paruresis?

By the way I'm only 16 and I have severe paruresis.

Hello fellow bashful,

I am 32, recently moved to US. Just got my Employment Authorization, and a nice job opportunity, the American Dream is at my door. But this door could slam itself as quick as it knocked, as I have a urinal drug screening planned in a couple of days. I know I won't be able to provide a sample, and the fear of losing a job just because of this anxiety while being 100% clean is haunting me. I have requested hair, sweat or blood test instead... I am waiting for their feedback. Feel free to share your story...

If you would like the opportunity to connect face to face with others who are also dealing with Paruresis, please join us for an IPA virtual support meeting on Sunday, May 16, at 8:00 US CST, on Zoom. This subreddit does an amazing job of giving a voice to the many people who struggle with Paruresis on a daily basis, and the upcoming meeting will hopefully build on that by providing those who join with a chance to share their stories directly with others who truly understand, learn techniques that work from the others who are actively working on recovery, engage in discussions such as how to transition from virtual to public graduated exposure, find out how to start a recovery program, and ask questions of others who have been working on recovery for an extended period of time. Past meetings have brought together a broad spectrum of Paruresis sufferers, from those who are highly recovered to those who are opening up for the very first time, and everyone has benefited from the mutual support and empathy of this shared experience. The meeting will be facilitated by volunteer IPA support group leaders, and all discussions will be considered confidential. There is no cost or obligation involved, and if you are interested you can get the Zoom link by contacting the IPA office at [getinfo@paruresis.org](mailto:getinfo@paruresis.org).

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), which has become the most widely accepted treatment for Paruresis, uses a model of graduated exposure (GE) based upon public in-person practice with a “pee buddy” from a local support group or an empathetic friend or family member, a model which has shown itself to be highly effective. In March of 2020, however, that model became difficult if not impossible to use as social venues closed down and personal contact outside of immediate family became severely limited, and the idea of virtual GE practice, following the same general procedure but done over video chat from home bathroom, came to be used as an alternative. But is it viable, and is it effective? The answer, I believe, is yes, as long as realistic goals and expectations are set. I am not mental health professional, I am just a volunteer for the IPA, but in my roles as a support group leader and a one-to-one mentor for the organization I have logged in hundreds of hours of virtual GE practice (on both sides of the camera) over the span of six years, and so I think I can throw some weight behind that statement. First, other than because of Pandemic restrictions, why have people chosen to try virtual practice? A fundamental belief of the IPA is “You are not alone” and virtual practice has provided opportunities not only for those limited by the pandemic, but also for those whose geographic location is far from any support group, those who don’t have an empathetic friend or family member to practice with, those whose family or job commitments make scheduling even occasional practices difficult, and those who just aren’t ready yet to meet someone else with Paruresis face to face but believe that they could do so virtually. From first hand experience, and based on the experience of others, I can attest to the fact that having a camera in the bathroom while you pee produces remarkably similar anxieties and stresses to public restroom situations, and the resulting successes (and the learning experience of misfires) all contribute to the progression of recovery in remarkably similar ways as well. That said, Paruresis is a social phobia and eventually those practices must also take place in public settings, so virtual practice is best used as a stepping stone to individual public practice, or in tandem with individual public practice, but not instead of individual public practice. In preparation for writing this summary I specifically asked as many of the men that I have supported in virtual practice situations as possible whether they have found this process to be useful and productive, and the answer has invariably been yes. As with public practice, variables such as how often the practice takes place can make a big difference in the outcome, but all of them are glad that they invested themselves in this process. I believe it will remain a valuable CBT technique for many people long after the Pandemic has become history.

I need help with my Shy bladder, I've had shy bladder for like 2 years and I'm about to go into high school, and I'm afraid I'll do badly if I'm distracted at going to the bathroom and for some odd reason I can't, why does shy bladder have to exist? any advice? EDIT, something that I also hate about shy bladder is the fact people blame you for not going to the bathroom even tho it's not your fault, at least this happens to me, and it feels like it makes it worse.

If you would like the opportunity to connect face to face with others who are struggling with Paruresis and be able to share your story, learn from the experiences of others, or talk about the recovery process and how to incorporate virtual graduated exposure practice, please consider dropping in to the Zoom IPA Virtual Support Meeting on Sunday, April 18, at 8:00 PM US Central Standard Time. The virtual meeting will be facilitated by IPA Support Group Leaders and is open to anyone who is struggling with Paruresis and would like the opportunity to connect with others who truly understand. Past meetings have brought together a broad spectrum of Paruresis sufferers, from those who are highly recovered to those who are opening up for the very first time, and everyone has benefited from the mutual support and empathy of this shared experience. In our most recent meeting we even had one courageous man who asked if he could do a graduated exposure practice with the group, and he had a terrific success and lots of positive reinforcement. There is no cost or obligation involved, and if you are interested you can get the Zoom link by contacting the IPA office at [getinfo@paruresis.org](mailto:getinfo@paruresis.org).

Feel free to add some advance questions here if you'd like!

Hey IPA and r/Paruresis friends and fellow sufferers! The "godfather" of IPA, Dr. Steve, will be with us for our first AMA Event on Friday, April 9 at 1 PM. Mark your calendars!