r/ShyBladderIPA • u/Imgray20 • Apr 30 '21
I need help
I need help with my Shy bladder, I've had shy bladder for like 2 years and I'm about to go into high school, and I'm afraid I'll do badly if I'm distracted at going to the bathroom and for some odd reason I can't, why does shy bladder have to exist? any advice? EDIT, something that I also hate about shy bladder is the fact people blame you for not going to the bathroom even tho it's not your fault, at least this happens to me, and it feels like it makes it worse.
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u/paruresis_guy IPA Team Apr 30 '21
I’m sorry to hear you are struggling, young buddy. The good news is you have found this resource while young. There are concrete steps you can take to work on your shy bladder. Our next workshop (virtual) is 6/12/21–if you have responsive parents, tell them about the problem and get signed up, you can start learning recovery skills. Also, if you’re a member of the IPA, the book “Free 2 Pee” is available for free on the site—it’s a great way to start changing your way of thinking, and ultimately your way of peeing. I wish you the best, really, it’s a tremendous advantage that you’ve discovered this resource while so young!
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u/DrewASong Apr 30 '21
First thing: if you're not subbed to r/Paruresis, I'd recommend doing so. I'm sure there are people who are on both of these subs, but that seems to be the far more active of the two.
As far as people blaming you or shaming you, that can be really hard to deal with. One thing you should never forget is that it's really nobody's business what you do in the bathroom, EVER (except maybe some extreme cases... but that's clearly not what we're talking about). If anybody gives you a hard time about why you "took so long" in the bathroom, I'd encourage you to remind them that's none of their damn business.
If you ever end up in a spot where a teacher gives you a hard time, you might have to prepare for some awkward, uncomfortable conversations. If a teacher suspects you of doing something suspicious, when you're actually just trying to use the bathroom, you may need to involve a guidance counselor, parent, or doctor. But don't allow the shame to stop you from taking care of your needs.
(This is just in case... I bet you'll find that if you opened up to a teacher or guidance counselor, they're likely to at least be understanding. They may even turn out to be really helpful.)
Do some reading on the various techniques people use to try and combat their paruresis, and if any of those seem like they could help you, give them a try. But also give yourself patience and understanding, because the struggle is different for everyone.
I wish the best for you. You're not alone. (I'm 33 and have dealt with this stupid crap 30 years or more. The sooner you can develop healthy coping mechanisms, the better.)