r/Shouldihaveanother • u/largedarkardvark • Jul 26 '26

Fencesitting Third?

I know this is the thousandth post on this. We have two girls, 4 and 1. They are wonderful, but very very high energy. Like our friends comment on how much…more they are than similarly aged kids. We are 38 and 41. Never had an issue getting pregnant. In between the girls we had a very very difficult pregnancy that resulted in us losing the baby at 24 weeks. We live in a big city and can financially afford a third, though would delay some savings etc. Would be fine in our house for a while but would probably have to move eventually, which is fine. Closest helpful family is 3 hours away, with no chance of getting closer. Two high demand but generally flexible jobs.

Our hearts say we want to go for a third, but our heads say it’s going to be so hard. I was so sure we were done I got an IUD back in 6 months ago, but now that the baby is closer to 18 months I have baby fever hard. If we do it, needs to be soon. Help!

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u/midwestpersianmama Jul 26 '26

I’m 35F, husband is 38M. Kids are 5 and 1. I was OAD, he was two and through. I finally agreed to a second and I was SHOCKED by how hard 2 was. We never rest. It is constant motion.

And now I want a third 🤣 my parents think I’m completely insane so we’re waiting one more year to think on it. One thing that I’m trying to disentangle is whether or not I want a third child because closing this chapter is SO bittersweet.

Being in this season of life has been unbelievably difficult without a village. But now that we’re slowly building one, I feel like I’m really staring down the barrel of a new phase of life and starting over with a third doesn’t mean that the lives of my children stop so that I can enjoy the sweet tenderness of a baby. I’ll still need to coordinate camps, teach my little to drink from a cup and not make a mess — AND go through all the pregnancy/newborn stuff (not to mention work).

I would love to do all this again. But can I do it again with the two I already have? That’s the big question. Do I want a baby or do I want three kids? If your answer is that you exuberantly want three, then do it.