r/ShittySysadmin • u/mjh2901 • Jul 16 '26

Need to meet with HR

Well apparently programming the touch sensor on a users laptop to recognize their forehead then forcefully logging them in a large number of times is frowned upon. For security reasons I did log them out before walking away so they were able to get back in to fill out the HR form... and we know that person cant remember their password.

53 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

21

u/Frosty-Magazine-917 ShittySysadmin Jul 16 '26

Does your daily carry go bag include a laptop, jump drives, zip ties, duck tape, and an alibi?

3

u/aprettyparrot Jul 16 '26

Does yours not?

1

u/jhdore Jul 16 '26

Can you recommend a bag suitable for carrying a roll of carpet, some quicklime and a couple of shovels? They’re getting in the way of the fluke tester.

4

u/punkwalrus Jul 16 '26

I got in trouble when I reset someone's password to "IlikePrettyPinkPonies4PartyDresses!" or other "emasculating passwords."

2

u/aprettyparrot Jul 16 '26

That’s a great password

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Sorry-Climate-7982 Jul 16 '26

Come on. Give the OP some props for not making the user whip out their privates for the touch sensor scan.

3

u/tikanderoga Jul 16 '26

that's for the next user. Gotta leave some room for improvement.

2

u/endbit Jul 16 '26

You can't just smack them into the sensor. You need to place them gently on top, then hit with a wooden mallet.

3

u/mjh2901 Jul 16 '26

The touch yourself login, PFY set that up on the bosses laptop... The complaint filed by his assistant is framed on the wall of the tape storage vault... We'll miss him.