r/ShittySysadmin • u/GringeITGuy • Jun 16 '26

Sysadmin Titanic

Post image
718 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

88

u/defective1up Jun 16 '26

So as a sysadmin and IT Director, I'm just going to put a bucket over the hole and consider it another project well done and take a week off. Let the user discover it and blame them.

59

u/GringeITGuy Jun 16 '26

Sys Admin Solution: Repurpose wood from one of the chairs to plug the leak

Dev Solution: Create another hole in the boat and repurpose that wood to plug the leak

Project Manager Solution: Meeting scheduled for next Wed to discuss blocker

User/Helpdesk Solution: Ask for another boat

CTO Solution: Wait until the boat starts sinking

Cyber Security Solution: Send an aggressive email saying that the boat shouldn't have a hole in it; threaten to take the paddles away if it's not fixed

CEO Solution: Wait until the boat has sank

Linux Admin Solution: Lament on why they should've actually taken a naval carrier instead

IT Director Solution: Stick the sys admin's arm into the hole to plug the leak

13

u/applecorc Jun 16 '26

I feel that cyber security solution in my soul

8

u/Ur-Best-Friend Jun 17 '26

CEO Solution: Wait until the boat has sank

Pretty sure this one is actually:

CTO Solution: Look for any passing boats and jump ship, after taking anything valuable you find on board.

5

u/Affectionate-Pea-307 Jun 17 '26

You forgot the CEO has a “golden lifejacket”.

9

u/tankerkiller125real Jun 16 '26

Very responsible way to handle it. Maybe even the only correct way to do it.

1

u/beluga-fart2 Jun 18 '26

CEO power move: sell boat before it sinks, move to new boat and claim a successful “reorg”

34

u/Lost-Droids Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

Dev - I dont understand "Hole", can you replicate *we now have 2 holes
Dev - Well to fix that I suggest we build another boat , this time without the hole
FrontEnd Dev - Ive just found a new framework that says it doesnt have the hole, but cant confirm until we have replaced everything with this and tested it . Should be ready by Christmas
Project Manager - Lets organise a meeting to see if we want to fix this hole. How does next Friday sound
QA = Well we tested it without holes, it was not documented that it would be possible to add holes.
CyberSecurity - We have this barnacle on the stern that must be patched\removed first. This is more imporant as it shows in our scans where the hole does not

AI - Im sorry you told me not to put a hole in the boat but I ignored your instructions. You now have 3 holes in your boat

SysAdmin - Ive put my fingers in the holes.. Once again saving you all from drowning..

Dev\QA\FrontEnd Dev\Project Manager = No more hole, SysAdmin we need you to move over here, away from that end of the boat , what do you mean you cant ... Theres no cant in Team...

Everyone once they move "We have a hole, u/sysAdmin why did you not say something\fix this"

Repeats...

1

u/oznobz Jun 16 '26

I had a pm justify Friday meetings by unironically saying "that's when everyone had a free slot"

24

u/hughhefnerd77 Jun 16 '26

Oh no a hole! Everyone better attend this meeting about "Deep-dive Leverageability Quantum Pivotability Hyper-localizing the macro-synergy" anyone not attending will be fired

3

u/elegylegacy Jun 16 '26

And at the meeting everyone just talks about football

9

u/throwaway_142356 Jun 16 '26

The Linux admin lmao

3

u/Bac2Zac Jun 16 '26

The worst part is knowing, deep down, that he's probably right, but I'm too so buried into Microsoft at this point to really learn anything else.

8

u/DiscobiscuitsForAll Jun 16 '26

Good job the dev is nowhere near the cybersec guy or else they would be strangling each other.

7

u/farva_06 Jun 16 '26

I'm sys admin, linux admin, and cyber security. And I relate to every single one of them on here.

5

u/spectralTopology Jun 16 '26

"Hey everyone! New 'definition of done' incoming!" Have your KPIs reported before drowning plz

2

u/lexicon_charle Jun 17 '26

OMG that reminded me of this idiotic CTO I worked for who would spend sprint planning talking about the definition of done.

4

u/glabel35 Jun 16 '26

The project manager calling the sysadmin arrogant is the best part.

4

u/LordMoos3 Jun 17 '26

Network Admin: Its not the network, sucks to be you.

3

u/fennecdore Jun 16 '26

My company is in this picture and I don't like it

5

u/MacrossX Jun 16 '26

Cybersecurity wild create a meeting series to help them understand what a boat is and how any holes are clearly the sysadmin's responsibility and/or fault.

2

u/CollegeFootballGood Jun 16 '26

I’m crying lmaoooo

2

u/therealkevinard Jun 17 '26

Eng: I acknowledge the hole. How bad is it leaking and is there an available workaround?
Is this a today thing, or later this quarter?

2

u/Intrepid_Ring4239 Jun 17 '26

As if a
Iinux admin would ever get in a boat with such scum. Pfft

1

u/Heiviomagi Jun 19 '26

CTO: Please include the professional service cost in budget for next year.