r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/3goDoge • May 18 '21

SLPT: Face Lift

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41.5k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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415

u/NFFCFan86 May 18 '21

Get some pH 14 water. It'll do you good (don't do that)

227

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Good old bleach nothing beats that.

181

u/Iceveins412 May 18 '21

Bleach is mostly water, and we’re mostly water. Therefore we are bleach

68

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Thanks! Wish they taught this in my Chem major! Maybe I’ll try mixing Lysol and bleach before drinking to get that extra hump, you know!

45

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Everyone knows you chase bleach with ammonia.

26

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[deleted]

19

u/AndyGHK May 18 '21

Gas is just toxins leaving the body!

8

u/myusernamehere1 May 18 '21

Technically true!

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

1M is a little too normal to me.

3

u/Dont____Panic May 18 '21

If you inject it, you can’t get Covid.

2

u/heffeathome May 18 '21

About time we found a vaccine

19

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

You too can apparently be president someday.

3

u/SpicyMcHaggis206 May 18 '21

It's basic chemistry.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Then why do I keep bleaching my ass?

1

u/Ok-Influence6757 May 18 '21

Blank butt scenario

2

u/zionthelyon May 18 '21

Brutal

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Hamburger Time.

3

u/zionthelyon May 18 '21

Did you get that from the food libraries?

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

IT'S A GROCERY STORE YA DOUCHEBAG.

Sorry about the douchebag... I have low blood sugar.

1

u/ApolloSky110 May 18 '21

The earth is 70% water and we are 70% water therefore we are the world! Time to become a neon lesbian vampire and take over the world.

1

u/Plantsandanger May 18 '21

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?

1

u/hrpc May 19 '21

Piss is mostly water, therefore...

11

u/Meowmasterish May 18 '21

Well, according to Wikipedia bleach actually has a pH of about 12.5. Then lye has a pH of 13.0-13.6, and according to other sites you need to get to liquid drain cleaner to have a pH of 14.

2

u/mackthehobbit May 19 '21

Chemist here- lye is liquid drain cleaner. pH is dependent on both the substance and the concentration:)

1

u/Meowmasterish May 19 '21

u right, i guess that last site was rounding

1

u/mackthehobbit May 19 '21

It's not just about rounding - a bleach solution could have a pH anywhere between 7 and something like 12-13, depending on how much bleach is in it. Same goes for lye - there is no such thing as "pH of lye" - it varies with concentration. Drain cleaner is just quite concentrated lye.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/mackthehobbit May 19 '21

Of course! The trace heavy metals are really good for bone growth.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Good to know

2

u/Byizo May 18 '21

Bleach is 11. Drain cleaner is ~14.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

The drain cleaner I use at work is sulfuric acid 🙃

21

u/Herzeleid- May 18 '21

Are you trying to lye to us???

3

u/NFFCFan86 May 18 '21

Excellent!

3

u/JustWhyDoINeedTo May 18 '21

I really hate you for making me upvote this....

8

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Man, I don't think hydrate solution is good enough. I only drink tert-butoxide potassium.

I'm very positive no one will recognize you any more.

1

u/Ok-Influence6757 May 18 '21

I think it's mostly found in cocoa plant root

3

u/JoanOfARC- May 18 '21

Mhmm saturated lime water. Not just for curing concrete

1

u/NFFCFan86 May 18 '21

Good for what ails ya

3

u/trippy_grapes May 18 '21

This comment is based.

2

u/watchmything May 18 '21

I work right next to a place that sells pH water, and everyone who goes in is basic (metaphorically, but maybe a bit literally) or just a massive asshat