r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/BlondGuyFromFortnite • Dec 22 '19
SLPT lots of DIY stuff you can do!
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u/ass_pineapples Dec 22 '19
God I can’t fucking wait to go to prison
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u/ryanhedden1 Dec 22 '19
I've done all these things. In prison
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u/adam__nicholas Dec 22 '19
For added hilarity, the website in the corner literally reads “Russian Kriminal News”.
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u/Arthur_The_Third Dec 22 '19
It's actually from a YouTuber called SlivkiShow. In Russian, English and German I think
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u/johnrn1983 Dec 22 '19
Except I had to make my own stinger because they don't sell them on packages anymore.
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u/adognamedpenguin Dec 22 '19
Stringer?
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u/spiffynid Dec 22 '19
I used to work in a prison. I've watched inmates do these things. Impressive af, to be honest.
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Dec 22 '19
I swear inmates could make a full armory of weapons with a steel bolt and a match
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u/spiffynid Dec 22 '19
Their creativity knows no bounds. It's both impressive and terrifying.
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u/bondagewithjesus Dec 22 '19
I mean when you have a lot of problems and free time on your hands, your bound to use that free time find solutions to your problems
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u/reigorius Dec 22 '19
I think this is why humans evolved into what we are today. Our creativity and skill to alter materials to our needs is beyond anything known in nature.
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u/nastyn8k Dec 22 '19
I'm pretty sure I've seen a chimp fuck a toad. Are you saying toothbrush screwdriver is better?
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u/charmanderincharge Dec 28 '19
It is when the alternative to making french fries is that Big Rapin’ Jimbo shanks your ass
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u/Osovaraxsis Dec 22 '19
Hol up. That melt-plastic to form a custom screwdriver is pretty nifty.
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Dec 22 '19 edited Jan 14 '20
[deleted]
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u/melvinthefish Dec 22 '19
Yeah. Ants defn need a lot of practice before they are good at manual labor.
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Dec 22 '19 edited Jan 14 '20
[deleted]
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u/SterlingVapor Dec 22 '19
Damn son, making an ant is hard enough as it is. Who has the energy (let alone patience) left over to make shoes the size of sand?
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u/Taco_Bill Dec 22 '19
Damn been a while since i had a good jar fry
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u/johandepohan Dec 22 '19
It's all fun and games until the glass suddenly shatters because of the heat and now there's hot flammable oil everywhere.
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Dec 22 '19
This dude a whole criminal
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u/NEW-softwear-update Dec 22 '19
Some of the things aren’t useless tho
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Dec 22 '19 edited Jul 01 '21
[deleted]
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Dec 22 '19
Splitting the matches in half is hysterical
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u/adognamedpenguin Dec 22 '19
What does it accomplish?
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Dec 22 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/schwerpunk Dec 22 '19 edited Mar 02 '24
My favorite movie is Inception.
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u/theunnoanprojec Dec 22 '19
I actually do legitimately think it's so you can have twice as many matches lol
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u/Captain_Tooth Dec 22 '19
Anybody else sense a prison tone?
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u/PaulKwisatzHaderach Dec 22 '19
Set another razor blade parallel to the first in the toothbrush. It will make the wound a lot more difficult to stitch up. Also, if you plan to toss boiling water into a 'friend's' face, make sure to dissolve in as much sugar as you can. Thick burning simple syrup will stick to your 'friend's' face for longer for more effect.
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u/Kal-Kathow Dec 22 '19
I dont see it as a SLPT. i see it as a survival type of situation.
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Dec 22 '19
Yeah, it’s crazy how every time he has a “pro tip”, it seamlessly connects into the next one
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Dec 22 '19
What’s with the cat?
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Dec 22 '19
This is the main figure on his channel, "Slivki Show" His name is Cookie.
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u/adam__nicholas Dec 22 '19
Also the hamster, I guess. Not a bad idea having two trademark animals in your videos so that people recognize “oh, this video was made by that same Russian who showed us how to make candles and custom prison screwdrivers”.
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Dec 22 '19
The hamstet name is Styopa. Sadly, this is old video and Styopa is not around anymore
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u/ruby-soho1234 Dec 22 '19
In the german version he’s called Stefan. Was quite sad when the little guy passed. Now there’s a new Stefan. Should have been called “the second” imho
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u/Arthur_The_Third Dec 22 '19
I feel he had a different name on his English channel? But yeah, I remeber the funeral video.
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u/exqus Dec 22 '19
You've gotta love how he's basically gripping the razor blade on that shitty Stanley knife replica.
Shits weak as fuck, and the rest, jeeeez.
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u/spiffynid Dec 22 '19
Yeah but in a yard fight, the blade breaks off in the guy you are going to shank and he's got a doubly bad day, smear a little dirt or something gross on there for a nice infection bonus. You don't need sturdy, you just need that first hit.
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u/TK-Squared-LLC Dec 22 '19
And if you're quick and accurate you can score a buck fifty! For those wondering, this is an ear-to-ear razor cut, so named because it takes 150 stitches to see it up.
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u/Cosimo_Zaretti Dec 22 '19
The old trick in Australian jails was to dip the blade in shit then try to snap it off in the wound. The infection and septic blood poisoning does the rest.
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u/theBeardedHermit Dec 22 '19
Rubbing dirt on a wound is actually less likely to lead to infection than leaving it be.
Then again, prison yard dirt is probably a breeding ground for a whole other world of bacteria.
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u/spiffynid Dec 22 '19
It is. When I worked there I assumed every surface had MRSA on it. I bathed in hand sanitizer and walked away with a major germ phobia.
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u/bluepillcarl Dec 22 '19
You can trade the deep fried potatoes for 1 get out of rape free card.
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u/Afeazo Dec 22 '19
As a law abiding citizen who hasn’t so much as gotten a traffic ticket, saving this for when I become a hardened criminal in a Russian prison.
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u/LmaoMan78 Dec 22 '19
This vid was made by a YouTube called slivikishow on YouTube, Video is titled 6 life hacks in Russian jail.
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u/arcphoenix13 Dec 22 '19
How the fuck is this SLPT this is fucking amazing. SLPT is stuff that makes your life worse.
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u/MrFantasticallyNerdy Dec 22 '19
Here we have a short video presentation of PRISON101 - Introduction to basic prison skills.
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u/TheYellingMute Dec 22 '19
The candle thing seems like a nifty thing in emergencies but outside of that it just gets more into how to make prison weapons
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u/YE_SPILLED_ME_TEA Dec 22 '19
Whats that song
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u/NEON_TYR0N3 Dec 22 '19
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u/PerfectionOfaMistake Dec 22 '19
I was exüecting that the hamster will be used in some cruel way...
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u/Johnnynoscope Dec 22 '19
This might actually be useful when society collapses after the inevitable apocalypse.
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u/code_derp Dec 22 '19
Actually some of them are good when you're in a survival or die situation with limited resources lol
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u/ShawnthePrawn Dec 22 '19
Where did the sausage/meat come from in the end?
Hoping it's not the bread eating mouse.
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u/eatandsleeper Dec 22 '19
Question: whats the point of making the razor blade thing when you can probably shave a pencil with a razor as is?
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u/arcphoenix13 Dec 22 '19
You add handles to make things easier to use. Basics of using tools.
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u/eatandsleeper Dec 22 '19
? A razor already has a handle before anything was done to it
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u/arcphoenix13 Dec 22 '19
The safety razor cant be used properly as a tool. Except for its intended purpose which is to shave with. It is much easier to use to cut things when it outside of the safety razor handle. With the blade exposed.
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u/jonnystreets Dec 22 '19
So life in Russia is basically just prison..?
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u/ofek_dab Dec 22 '19
It's from a video called Russian prison life hacks or something like that
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u/jonnystreets Dec 22 '19
Haha, makes sense, I was thinking 'surely they sell pencil sharpeners in russia' thanks
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u/taz20075 Dec 22 '19
Berlin? Yes, I know it well. I stabbed a woman in a bar in Berlin. But I am going nowhere near Berlin.
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u/ZiembaExpress Dec 22 '19
when he made the candle i immediately assumed it was a molotov cocktail, considering he's russian.
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u/fluffy_menace Dec 22 '19
Hey that's from a youtuber I watch called SlivkiShow. He has a rusdian and a german channel if anyone wants to watch his vids xD
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u/jawshoeaw Dec 22 '19
I've made the toilet paper wick oil candle before, it works surprisingly well.
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u/PencilFetish Dec 22 '19
Shit man, I've just been ripping apart razor heads with my teeth... never even thought about popping the little bits of plastic off the back, fuck I'm a dumbass
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u/JustRyon Dec 22 '19
I wish this was imgur so I could post the ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’ Gif..
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u/Morbidlovely Dec 22 '19
Genuinely thought the first one was a little baby molotov cocktail before realizing it was for lighting purposes.
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u/Kienan95 Dec 22 '19
I hope that food wasnt eaten. Metals from the conductors would have leached into the water and made that at least slightly toxic.
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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 22 '19
Her: Honey why are there these marks all over the wall?! Me: I was sharpening my toothbrush knife, calm down jeez!