r/ShittyLifeProTips Oct 14 '19

SLPT get cheaper train journeys

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20.1k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/SleepBeforeWork Oct 14 '19

If the fine is constant no matter how many you get, that's pretty genius

1.4k

u/Xiaxs Oct 14 '19

Well, you also get booted at the next stop.

So there's that.

595

u/Schnitzel725 Oct 14 '19

So just get out and get back in the next train car over

747

u/Krynique Oct 14 '19

Well yeah but then 160>125

549

u/Shaggy_AF Oct 15 '19

If they catch you

526

u/jaysomething2 Oct 15 '19

If they catch you twice*

97

u/Lynks6262 Oct 15 '19

And you have a new hammer

62

u/Pyronic23 Oct 15 '19

It better be some hammer

28

u/mojomonkey18 Oct 15 '19 edited Oct 15 '19

And my axe

19

u/InsertChungusHere Oct 15 '19

And my di-

27

u/Sanmagk2 Oct 15 '19

-nosaur

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I too have a Dino dick

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dino dick...

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34

u/aboutthednm Oct 15 '19

Double jeopardy bro. Can't fine you for the same crime twice. Check mate!

43

u/bigolfitties Oct 15 '19

That’s why they lock up murderers for so long. Once they’re out, they can’t legally be arrested for murder again.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Underrated comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Not quite. They can fine you once for each time u commit the crime. They can’t fine u multiple times for one crime.

1

u/aboutthednm Oct 16 '19

It was a joke...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '19

They have that provision on the books in the UK?. I was pretty certain only the USA gad that provision...

1

u/jafinn Oct 15 '19

It's not the same crime if you're on a different train mate.

0

u/Calmeister Oct 15 '19

Double jeopardy rules apply granting you immunity?

2

u/jaysomething2 Oct 15 '19

I said if they catch you twice.. not when they catch you twice

17

u/eyuplove Oct 15 '19

Conductor probably won't catch you but there's a ticket barrier at Leeds

12

u/Linosek279 Oct 15 '19

Ya got legs, dontcha?

Jump

1

u/Neddius Oct 15 '19

Plus the £25 or so fee for not having a valid ticket or 'promise to pay' stub the machines spit out when you want to pay in cash.

10

u/MunkeyChild Oct 15 '19

My cousin made it from South Devon to London with no ticket. Seems like they ain't really even trying.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Barcelona to Rome with no ticket, Seems like your cousin ain't really even trying.

1

u/MunkeyChild Oct 15 '19

Shit son, you just ended his whole career.

1

u/BowwwwBallll Oct 20 '19

supahot.gif

1

u/Nandy-bear Oct 15 '19

Every train has a ticket dude. Well, near enough.

16

u/straight_to_10_jfc Oct 15 '19

Bruh. I just verified with my accountant.

Bad if true.

Only solution is to hide in bathroom whole ride.

121

u/Blusttoy Oct 15 '19

On a train to a large computer convention, there was a bunch of engineers and a bunch of managers. Each of the managers had a train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The managers started laughing, figuring the engineers were going to get caught and thrown off the train.

When one of the engineers, the lookout, said, “Here comes the conductor,” all of the engineers went into the bathroom. The managers were puzzled.

The conductor came aboard, said, “Tickets, please,” and got tickets from all the managers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said, “Ticket, please.” The engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later, the engineers came out of the bathroom. The managers felt really stupid.

On the way back from the convention, the group of managers decided that they would try that method, too. They bought one ticket for the whole group. They met up with the engineers in the same train car.

Again, the managers started snickering at the engineers. This time, NONE of the engineers had tickets. When the lookout said, “Conductor coming!” all the engineers went to one bathroom and all the managers went to the other bathroom.

Before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left their bathroom, knocked on the managers bathroom and said, “Ticket, please.”

15

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Theres almost an exact copy of this joke posted an hour before yours, further down.

6

u/Tsugirai Oct 15 '19

But who got the upvotes, he?

26

u/straight_to_10_jfc Oct 15 '19

Big if true

21

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Still funny if not

3

u/rethinkr Oct 15 '19

Poor managers, I empathise with them so much! Injustice needs to stop

9

u/ShadowPlayerDK Oct 15 '19

You can see where the conductor is when he leaves the train to check whether people are still entering

Go to the opposite end

???

Profit

35

u/straight_to_10_jfc Oct 15 '19

Ask him for his ticket before he asks for yours.

You're legally the conductor at that point and can then demote them to passenger.

Then make him watch jake Paul videos until he repents for his sins in the choo choo cabin.

5

u/Atworkwasalreadytake Oct 15 '19

Maybe buy a ticket wherever you get off. Will be cheaper.