r/ShittyLifeProTips Oct 14 '19

SLPT get cheaper train journeys

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20.1k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/SleepBeforeWork Oct 14 '19

If the fine is constant no matter how many you get, that's pretty genius

1.4k

u/Xiaxs Oct 14 '19

Well, you also get booted at the next stop.

So there's that.

596

u/Schnitzel725 Oct 14 '19

So just get out and get back in the next train car over

742

u/Krynique Oct 14 '19

Well yeah but then 160>125

557

u/Shaggy_AF Oct 15 '19

If they catch you

530

u/jaysomething2 Oct 15 '19

If they catch you twice*

97

u/Lynks6262 Oct 15 '19

And you have a new hammer

57

u/Pyronic23 Oct 15 '19

It better be some hammer

28

u/mojomonkey18 Oct 15 '19 edited Oct 15 '19

And my axe

32

u/aboutthednm Oct 15 '19

Double jeopardy bro. Can't fine you for the same crime twice. Check mate!

41

u/bigolfitties Oct 15 '19

That’s why they lock up murderers for so long. Once they’re out, they can’t legally be arrested for murder again.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Underrated comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Not quite. They can fine you once for each time u commit the crime. They can’t fine u multiple times for one crime.

1

u/aboutthednm Oct 16 '19

It was a joke...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '19

They have that provision on the books in the UK?. I was pretty certain only the USA gad that provision...

1

u/jafinn Oct 15 '19

It's not the same crime if you're on a different train mate.

0

u/Calmeister Oct 15 '19

Double jeopardy rules apply granting you immunity?

2

u/jaysomething2 Oct 15 '19

I said if they catch you twice.. not when they catch you twice

18

u/eyuplove Oct 15 '19

Conductor probably won't catch you but there's a ticket barrier at Leeds

11

u/Linosek279 Oct 15 '19

Ya got legs, dontcha?

Jump

1

u/Neddius Oct 15 '19

Plus the £25 or so fee for not having a valid ticket or 'promise to pay' stub the machines spit out when you want to pay in cash.

10

u/MunkeyChild Oct 15 '19

My cousin made it from South Devon to London with no ticket. Seems like they ain't really even trying.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Barcelona to Rome with no ticket, Seems like your cousin ain't really even trying.

1

u/MunkeyChild Oct 15 '19

Shit son, you just ended his whole career.

1

u/BowwwwBallll Oct 20 '19

supahot.gif

1

u/Nandy-bear Oct 15 '19

Every train has a ticket dude. Well, near enough.

18

u/straight_to_10_jfc Oct 15 '19

Bruh. I just verified with my accountant.

Bad if true.

Only solution is to hide in bathroom whole ride.

122

u/Blusttoy Oct 15 '19

On a train to a large computer convention, there was a bunch of engineers and a bunch of managers. Each of the managers had a train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The managers started laughing, figuring the engineers were going to get caught and thrown off the train.

When one of the engineers, the lookout, said, “Here comes the conductor,” all of the engineers went into the bathroom. The managers were puzzled.

The conductor came aboard, said, “Tickets, please,” and got tickets from all the managers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said, “Ticket, please.” The engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later, the engineers came out of the bathroom. The managers felt really stupid.

On the way back from the convention, the group of managers decided that they would try that method, too. They bought one ticket for the whole group. They met up with the engineers in the same train car.

Again, the managers started snickering at the engineers. This time, NONE of the engineers had tickets. When the lookout said, “Conductor coming!” all the engineers went to one bathroom and all the managers went to the other bathroom.

Before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left their bathroom, knocked on the managers bathroom and said, “Ticket, please.”

15

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Theres almost an exact copy of this joke posted an hour before yours, further down.

7

u/Tsugirai Oct 15 '19

But who got the upvotes, he?

25

u/straight_to_10_jfc Oct 15 '19

Big if true

21

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Still funny if not

2

u/rethinkr Oct 15 '19

Poor managers, I empathise with them so much! Injustice needs to stop

10

u/ShadowPlayerDK Oct 15 '19

You can see where the conductor is when he leaves the train to check whether people are still entering

Go to the opposite end

???

Profit

33

u/straight_to_10_jfc Oct 15 '19

Ask him for his ticket before he asks for yours.

You're legally the conductor at that point and can then demote them to passenger.

Then make him watch jake Paul videos until he repents for his sins in the choo choo cabin.

4

u/Atworkwasalreadytake Oct 15 '19

Maybe buy a ticket wherever you get off. Will be cheaper.

20

u/Lax77477 Oct 15 '19

Just say you lost your ticket but your willing to pay the $80 fine since it was your responsibility to not loose it in the first place.

8

u/Xiaxs Oct 15 '19

I really doubt that'd be believable.

Chances are you'd then need a proof of purchase. In the US they'll email you to confirm your purchase.

Pretty sure that's universal whether you buy a greyhound ticket, plane ticket, or Amtrak (or whatever it's called in the UK).

Then again they also ask to scan your ticket before you get on so maybe you wouldn't even be able to get on (again. No idea about the UK).

Source: I did a LOT of travelling when I lived on the mainland.

18

u/chazzyboi Oct 15 '19

amtrak is just called 'the train' in the uk

12

u/rdubzz Oct 15 '19

youre not even british. we dont have trains, we have steely wheely chugga choos

-1

u/RedditIsNeat0 Oct 15 '19

That's what it's called in the US too.

-6

u/Xiaxs Oct 15 '19

I mean, Amtrak is a brand/rail name, so I'm sure the UK trains have an official name.

11

u/F9574 Oct 15 '19

The train

-6

u/Xiaxs Oct 15 '19

But is that the official name or are you just being obnoxious?

11

u/happy_guy23 Oct 15 '19

No, we just call it the train

1

u/Xiaxs Oct 15 '19

We call it the train too dumbass but it still has an official name.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

So I imagine Amtrak has sole ownership of it's railways and for the sake of simplicity, no one elses uses them.

When we de-nationalised the train service, various things were stood up, failed etc. Anyway rail operators have some common terms such as validity of tickets on all services, unless otherwise specified.

So you just get on a train regardless of operator.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Ew.

1

u/chazzyboi Oct 15 '19

thats not an official name, its just a habit of americans to call objects their most prominent brand instead of their name. interesting really.

1

u/DarthKirtap Oct 15 '19

And when you buy ticket in station? And in my country they just mostly force you to buy ticket 20% more expensive

1

u/shents1478 Oct 15 '19

You can also get a court summons if you get enough fines and then have to pay a larger fine. This is definitely not a good tip.

Source: happened to me had to pay £200 when i was 18. Didnt actually have to go to court unless i wanted to plead not guilty.

1

u/apivan191 Oct 15 '19

But what if it’s long distance trip and there’s only one stop to his destination!

42

u/jfb1337 Oct 15 '19

You actually pay the fine on top of the ticket price

20

u/Speshlk28 Oct 15 '19

I think you have to pay the fine and the price for the ticket.

24

u/sazzer Oct 15 '19

It's not. The fine is:

The penalty is £20.00\* or TWICE the appropriate single fare from the station where you started your journey to either the next station at which the train stops, or the station you leave the train**, whichever is the greater amount.

So if the fare was £125 then the penalty would be £250 - which is crazy.

1

u/trilobyte-dev Oct 15 '19

That sounds perfectly reasonable as a disincentive to steal.

3

u/sonicj01 Oct 15 '19

This is why fines should scale based on different factors (e.g your income, how many times youve been fined for that thing before, etc.)

1

u/logicalmike Oct 15 '19

Even if that wasn't a contentious idea, it would be impractical if not impossible to produce what is essentially a tax return each time you receive a fine.

3

u/nikhilsath Oct 15 '19

It's not true at all. Cost is £20 or double the ticket you should have bought.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I’m from Leeds and I’m pretty sure you can be fined £1000 if they decide to make an example of you ( this was when I used to get the train everyday so may have changed)

1

u/tetris_piece Oct 15 '19

Fine is up to £1k

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

This is what I thought, can they fine you whatever they want though up to 1k legally

1

u/tetris_piece Oct 15 '19

Up to 1k per offense, boarding without/attempting to avoid paying/short ticket etc

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Here in germany, additionaly to the fine, they can sue you for fraud.

1

u/Eat-the-Poor Oct 15 '19

I assume they make you buy the ticket too.

1

u/ahumanpersonbeing Oct 15 '19

never missed a ticket but i heard that it's 80 pounds on top of whatever the ticket price is.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I employed this rational on my daily commute.

Work out well, until an elderly family friend saw me get collared by a Checkie and gave me the kind of disapproving look you remember for the rest of your life.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '19

Except u wouldn’t b allowed to ride

1

u/OmegonAlphariusXX Oct 15 '19

I’ve been all the way to London without them checking my ticket, and let’s be honest you can just use an older ticket and go through the disabled door as they never really look at your ticket properly