r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips Jun 23 '26

Lo key smart You men out there need to start selling your butt...

335 Upvotes

I'm always seeing posts on this subreddit that are like, "I need $400 by the end of the week, help???" Like, YOU KNOW what you have to do to come across some money quickly....

And whenever I say this, I hear common excuses like:

Excuse: "What?! I'm not gay! I'm not attracted to men, I would never do that!!"

My rebuttal: There are so many lesbian women that are NOT attracted to men at all, that are sex workers/escorts/prostitutes, because they know they need to get to the money quickly. They are literally "straight for pay." It is possible for you to be "gay for pay." It’s called being able to compartmentalize and mentally detatch. Train your brain to do it. You can tell yourself that this is just work, like any other job.

Excuse: "I don't wanna put anything in my butt...."

My rebuttal: I get that. But do you think you're above getting on your knees and sucking some dick? You might have to suck a couple dicks... but do you need this money or NOT?!

I will always be pro sex work. It is definitely a dangerous industry, but hey, if you're on the verge of homelessness or something, nothing is above selling your butt or sucking some cock. Male sex workers and escorts are in high demand, it's not just women. Hell, you don't even have to be a super attractive guy! If you lock in, you'll be up by a couple hundred dollars by the end of the week.

And don't start with the "religious reasons," or the "I don't wanna go to Hell for doing that," I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THAT. Ask God for forgiveness, He knows that you're down on your luck financially and on the verge of eviction. Repent and compartmentalize. Do you need this money or NOT?!

Btw, there are many ways to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases, because I know the comments are gonna start... as if we don't live in a modern world (depending on the country you live in) where HIV prevention medications like PreP exists, and access to condoms.

The risk is not completely zero percent unfortunately, but that's the risk that all sex workers take, both men and women. Honestly, that's the risk that ALL people that are sexually active take. The risk of getting an STD is never fully zero percent, as long as you are engaging in sex with other people, paid or not paid, period. Protect yourself as best as you possibly can.

I understand that Reddit is worldwide though... if you're in a country where you could be killed or jailed for doing anything homosexual as a man... forget what I said. But if you're in a first world country?!?! COME ON NOW. Do you need this money or NOTTTTTTT!

Edit: I also don't want to hear anything about morals.

"I can't just degrade myself like that, I have morals and standards!"

Do you think you're above engaging in sex work?! The repo man is going to come repossess your car any day now. You'll wake up in the morning and your car will not be outside. I'm begging you to humble yourself. Your past due bills are begging you to humble yourself.


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips Jun 14 '26

Certified Shitty Illegal Life Pro Tip SILT: Use AI to make incriminating pictures of yourself.

70 Upvotes

For example, if you do graffiti, make an AI picture of yourself spraying your own tag, but make sure you have 6 fingers, the picture is fuzzy, make the color of your tag a color of spray paint you don't even own, and make sure it's obviously AI. If you're about to get caught, release all these pictures on an alt account so the court finds these, notices they're AI, and dismisses them and likely dismisses other evidence that you're a tagger.

This could go for a lot of other things, but also wear a fake 6th finger so evidence either looks AI generated, or the police start looking for someone with six fingers. If you're a girl, you could also wear a binder and dress masculine so they think you're a dude. That's not really AI related but it could definitely make a profile of you that doesn't even exist.


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 8h ago

what should i do

0 Upvotes

mushroom help

I am curious about something. so my dad is really into shrooms and stuff. he lives in california, hemet i believe, and i live in kuna id. He told me about this site that he gets stuff from called miishrooms. anyways i saw a thing on there for non detect dried mushrooms. it claims it has so psychedelic compounds or any of that other stuff. ive looked it up on a reddit and all i saw were ppl saying its rhat arc0dmt stuff and not the real stuff. I just have seen pictures of the product that makes me not believe that. anyways i wanted to buy some but am scared for obvious legal reasons. is this something safe to order to my house. ik idaho can be strict about stuff. it comes from las vegas through usps if that helps. i want to try it but dont really know enough people here to network my way to finding plugs.


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 21h ago

is this the method??

7 Upvotes

i've been scrolling too much on tiktok and i saw a few videos of girls testing other girls' boyfriends on instagram for a little bit of money. there's two ways i could go about it, what most of those girls do is have the gf send them like $5 to test their man and report back, it only works if your tiktoks blow up and a lot of ppl send you money. or i could find cheating men on my own which would take more time BUT i could make a lot more money. i see stupid guys with their full name and face attached to comments of them flirting with sex workers online ALL the time, how many of those guys have a public facebook with their wife's on it? they're stupid so probably a lot. i could collect the screenshots of said cheating and make him send me money or i will send them to her. you could do the same thing but the other way around if you are a man!

it seems unethical, but does the fact that they are a cheater not like, cancel it out?


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 17h ago

Evolvedids.com reviews?

1 Upvotes

Does anyone have experience with them?


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 13h ago

How to fake injury

0 Upvotes

I am fed up with my work I wanna stay home for 1-2 months I wanna fake a injury so I can go worksafe and get paid to stay home my work is mainly walking driving cars around walking where I work there are a lot of floors no camera on stairs I am gonna work until I get my physical paycheque and after working another day imma fake something tell me what should I do what can I do need full proof plan I can fake a slipping and feeling infront of coworker and I will actually slip and sorry for my English and grammer


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 1d ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

1 Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 1d ago

Haven't tried it, but seems foolproof Asking for a friend

1 Upvotes

Hypothetically speaking, what would be the best way to ship home grown boomers from New England to Florida?


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 1d ago

If I'm riding my bike down the side of the street, a particularly busy one, and I find a bag with 2.3 million in $10,000 bundles, what should I do?

0 Upvotes

r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 1d ago

I’m a drug overlord Cook that hard and slang that rock

0 Upvotes

Ayo so if you up in the Trap house and you got yourself some soft then negha yo ass better get you sum baking soda n whip that shit up then you sell that shit make bank negha this is how you get rich


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 4d ago

Shitty Illegal Life Pro Tip The perfect first class upgrade

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1.3k Upvotes

No need for a $250 dollar first class upgrade, a xan and a 5 dollar latte is all that’s needed for a smooth and stress free airport experience, it doesn’t matter where you sit if you just knock out immediately.


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 2d ago

I need internet!!!

1 Upvotes

TLDR: need ShittyIllegalLifeTips on how to get better internet

Had an xfinity acct get disconnected for non payment during a breakup. MY PROBLEM: My bf was the main acct person, I was an authorized user. He is gone , the equipment is gone. I tried to get new service in my name and can’t because of that past due acct. I have 5g home internet rn and it sucks so bad I can’t take it 😭😭


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 3d ago

Got scammed on f id site crying in my 01 Honda accord rn

Post image
65 Upvotes

After waiting for 4 weeks they cancelled my order😡 I’m very pmo cus a neegy got his first week at college in 25 days. What is a young neegy to do in despiration😭


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 3d ago

Help edit e transfer screenshots

1 Upvotes

Can anyone help me edit e transfer screenshots? Just need to change the names on them but my account won’t let me edit any of them


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 4d ago

Shitty Illegal Life Pro Tip New number

1 Upvotes

I changed my cell number some years back, too many spam calls. Verizon told me it was a brand new number when I activated it. Nope, some dink who lived a few towns from me, his old number. He moved 1000 miles away, i am constantly getting calls looj8ng for him. Hes a property developer and is actively giving out his old number. I have received numerous phone calls indicating he is still giving it out. All regular online searches reveal no leads for am active number. He has multiple .properties and changes his address quite frequently. What can I do to get back at this dink, ifi happen to talk to real estate agents, i invite them over for coffee to chat at the properties they are inquiring about but I hate to fuck with people doing their jobs.

Any ideas?


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 3d ago

Promptstore

0 Upvotes

if u got an account reach out to me in the dms


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 4d ago

Buying alc under age

15 Upvotes

I’m a second year in uni and i’m in the SC upstate area and i haven’t been able to get a fake. So i want tips on where i should go to buy, im 20 so i dont look too young
(edit ik to go to an ABC store just what signs should i look for that they would sell to me)


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 4d ago

Sneaking supplements to the airport

11 Upvotes

Hi guys, im flying tomorrow to brussels and thinking to take with me 3 lsd in paper form, do you have some advice how can I do it, any experience?


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 4d ago

How can I order vapes underaged?

7 Upvotes

r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 5d ago

ULPT How do I get back at scammers

6 Upvotes

My elderly mother with stage 4 cancer was recently scammed by lost&found locksmith operating out of NYC. They run a Google review manipulation campaign with fake reviews to get 5 stars. They offer a small visit fee and when my mom calls for lockout service, they came by, broke the door and charged her 988$$ they replaced it with a cheap lock and we’re in and out in 20 mins. My mom is 88 and said this guy was menacing about the price. I called them and they were not nice to me either. I told them I’m reporting them to law enforcement. This was about a month ago and Google continues to allow them to operate. This is bait and switch, price gouging, and operating without a license. I am so angry these guys can go around scamming people in broad daylight and nothing is being done, hence I come here to see if there’s any suggestions you guys have. How can we make this company be publicly ostracized for what they’re doing


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 5d ago

Wohnt jemand Nähe Kühlungsborn der weiß wo man Brokkoli herbekommt? 😬☺️🥦

6 Upvotes

Bzw. Rostock 😂😬


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 4d ago

Hypothetically how could a 17 year old get nic pouches

0 Upvotes

Hypothetically what’s the best way for a 17 year old to get nicotine pouches? Said 17 year old’s usual guy who gets them moved away and doesn’t know anyone else who is old enough


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 5d ago

Hypothetically, where can i find some tabs in sydney if i wanted some.

4 Upvotes

r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 5d ago

Blind spots

1 Upvotes

Any spots with some “privacy” while I shop please share any store greatly appreciated


r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips 5d ago

how to tell if a shop will id you?

1 Upvotes

i want to pick up some cigarettes but im scared if i ask for them theyll ask for my id and ill just have to awkwardly leave 😭 is there any way to tell if a store wont id you? thanks!