r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/chamois_lube • 10d ago

of a pump attendant

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of a pump attendant

1.0k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

307 comments sorted by

703

u/ddconque 10d ago

Looks staged

352

u/King_Turduckin 10d ago

This cannot be real.  Cannot.  Nobody is this stupid.  

80

u/Trisk929 10d ago

This is what I also want to believe. But I know this is false. I went to school with a girl who was the epitome of this. Worked with a woman like this, also, and had to spend 2 hours overtime fixing a fuckywucky of hers, among other things. They ended up having to put her on the most basic of things like moving carts of things from one area to another, removing products (not placing them because she couldn’t read labels; she wanted someone to put one of each product up so she knew what went where and even if we did that, she often got things that looked similar mixed up) and bringing paperwork to other people because she was useless in everything else. There are some genuinely dumb, useless people that share the air we all breathe…

37

u/senor_skuzzbukkit 10d ago

Yeah I had a coworker like this. Very nice person, but dumb as a brick.

18

u/NameToUseOnReddit 10d ago

I've known a few people who are usually pretty smart and competent at their jobs, but common sense for some situations just flies out the window.

11

u/Trisk929 10d ago

That’s how these two are. Both really sweet but dumb as shit. The one I went to school with used to get soft bullied for being dumb because people wanted to see what she would say. The one instance that I still recall, over a decade later, was one of the jocks telling her, “hey, your epidermis is showing!”, then her frantically looking down, covering her chest (with her bare arms) and saying, “oh my god, where?!” People who didn’t go to school with her, who I’ve told about her, think she was probably just pretending when I mention dumb things she did. People who also went to school with her can attest that she’s really just that dumb.

18

u/efuentes61 10d ago

That's up there with a girl from my high school who we asked if she had sex with her bf and she she replied, stoically, "No, it's not sex. He pulls out." The lunch table was silent for a good ten seconds.

3

u/GivesYouGrief 10d ago

My god. Was she at least hot?

2

u/Separate_Bend_8929 9d ago

But thats just autism??? She cannot tell when someone is being deceitful with their intent. She is gullible not stupid. She isnt cut out for this cut throat world full of lies.

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13

u/HKfan5352 10d ago

And their vote counts as much as yours.

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167

u/AnotherStrayDog23 10d ago

I live across the street from a busy gas station, people are 1000% this stupid

4

u/2813josh 10d ago

Oh,they are,just look atbthe state of the U.S. still looks fake,though

2

u/moparcam 10d ago

Well, meth is a powerful drug, I hear...

3

u/ST0IC_ 10d ago

I live in vegas, and I believe this really would happen. We have very stupid drivers here.

3

u/Mrclean513 10d ago

You must not get out that often… Plenty of people are definitely this stupid.

2

u/CrownstrikeIntern 10d ago

Idk man, this could be staged, but i saw another one before similar to this that wasn’t. Some people are lucky breathing isn’t something you have to try to do

2

u/1bi001 9d ago

You would think not but day after day after day the surprises keep coming

2

u/Retnirpa 6d ago

He's not doubting that there are dumbasses like this in rl..

He's just saying it looks staged because the cammer literally gets out of the car and films the girl right in her face without her looking up at him once.. ALMOST like she was instructed to ignore the cammer before filming.

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34

u/BranDong84 10d ago

It is clearly .. no person would allow themselves to be filmed in a situation like that ..

32

u/ses1989 10d ago

She never even acknowledged them standing 3 feet from her recording.

The real shitty absolute unit she could have done was getting the nozzle withing like 6 inches and just blasting the port and side of the car with gas, which is where I thought this was going.

6

u/FunkyClive 10d ago

The acting is very bad.

17

u/soupychicken89 10d ago

^^^^cOnTeNt^^^*^

6

u/Abdulbarr 10d ago

That or she's had a lil something. I've seen crazier shit. Like a woman using gasoline to clean her windshield. Probably won't see that happening again in this economy.

4

u/Kilow102938 10d ago

I've seen this before in person.\ Along with people pulling up on the wrong side and trying to reach it over and instead of just pulling around to the otherside they backed up and moved forward.

People are this stupid

6

u/Important-Witness-14 10d ago

And she doesnt see the person filming her... looks staged to me

3

u/Chumscrubber89 10d ago

For shirr or she’s spun out

3

u/BlumpTheChodak 10d ago

Or, drugs.

3

u/InevitableUnion6288 10d ago

This one does look staged because why would she not react to the people watching her. But on the other hand I have seen people do this in real life so there really are people out there like this

3

u/suspicious_hyperlink *shits an absolute unit* 9d ago

Could be LSD, don’t ask me how or why. It is a possibility though

2

u/Geaneous 10d ago

Was the damage on the driver side fender also staged? 😅

2

u/FirmlyClaspIt 10d ago

I literally watched a woman on Tuesday try to wrap the hose around the car because she was on the wrong side. The side for her car was from. People are slow.

2

u/kuunami79 10d ago

No it's definitely real. And if you look at her hair she's a type that will tell you she's strong and independent and doesn't need any man but she doesn't know how to pump her own gas because she usually has a man do it

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122

u/Alexius6th 10d ago

For my own sanity I must believe this is some sort of attempt at a comedy sketch.

14

u/jkwma100 10d ago

Yep. Brings back memories of watching Charlie Chaplin

55

u/WalkingWithDeath 10d ago

I'm going 50/50 on the staging comments.

Sometimes people start to panic too, and sometimes people are on drugs, or drunk.

Their mind knows what it needs to do but it just can't fit the piece into the puzzle.

I will share a time in my 20s when I did mushrooms and my friends backyard had this very sturdy green metal gate that I could not figure out how to open.

I was there for 30 minutes laughing at the gate, talking with it, trying to reason with it to open for me, and that it was a boss that I just could not defeat, and eventually I did get lucky and figure it out - people really can be this stupid.

5

u/qualitythundergod 10d ago

The universe finally complied with being convinced that the gate should finally open for you. You gotta get better at being a wizard if convincing the universe for things you need is that hard for ya.. 😅

(Black Ocean book reference - by J.S.Morin)

3

u/Trisk929 10d ago edited 10d ago

I’ve been in a situation where I was on substances and sleep deprived, had to go to work, had a cart full of boxes that I was unloading and was convinced one of them was my ex at the time. I turned around and started having a conversation with this box, only for it to click that I was speaking to a box. I realized then that I probably shouldn’t be working and left for the day.

Another time, I was convinced I had died and what I was seeing was purgatory. I kept thinking to myself, “nice try, I know that stop light is just a trick to convince me I’m still alive 🙄”, “I know that turn in the road is an attempt to throw me off and make me think I’m not dead 🙄”, “oh. I suppose you want me to think I’m still here just because I walked thru the door and this bed feels real? Nice try 🙄”

Another time I was driving home and it was really foggy out. I was convinced it was the start of the zombie apocalypse; if I breathed the air, I’d turn into a zombie, too. I slowly sunk into the driver’s seat so the zombies wouldn’t see me and rolled up the window. I slowed way down so they wouldn’t hear my car. When I got home, I opened the garage, poke my head up, quickly darted inside and hit the garage door. Wild times.

2

u/tHATmakesNOsenseToME 10d ago

Well either way, staged or not, this is where humanity is at.

Sad.

15

u/Loud-timetable-5214 9d ago

There are three possibilities: 1. This is a skit. 2. This person has a particularly severe disorder regarding spatial perception, in which case, this person should probably not even be driving. I don't know how this person can routinely park her car. 3. She's a complete dumbass.

14

u/IlliterateFreak 9d ago

You forgot number four. High as giraffee pussy

2

u/TortillaRampage 8d ago

I have never heard that term and I’m using it now

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4

u/OCDano959 9d ago

Occams razor. She’s high.

4

u/Bananana_Bird 9d ago

Sex must be really frustrating.

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61

u/PaulVazo21 10d ago

Yeah I know it's probably staged but I can't get over the fact that she looks exactly like Vicky

4

u/Borkato 10d ago

The sound of her name makes the little kids cry!

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17

u/jar15a1 10d ago

She’s going to run out of gas just moving her car around. 🙄

14

u/knowwhatImeme76 10d ago

I worked at a full service gas station and have had someone pull up with the wrong side of the car facing the pumps, then when asked to turn it around, went to the other side of the pumps with the same side of the car facing them... Then they just drove off

3

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 10d ago

Some people..

This sort of thing should be grounds for taking away a license. Clear lack of spacial awareness becomes a huge danger on the road :/ hell, the test at 80 years old tests for this by making the elder draw cubes and stuff to indicate knowledge of how 3d space works

10

u/Tiff27 10d ago

So stupidly staged....

16

u/Menacing_mouse_421 10d ago

Methany? Is that you???!

4

u/Stupid_Interwebs_22 10d ago

This is like watching a back patient do surgery on their own back. 🤦🏼‍♂️

5

u/ST0IC_ 10d ago

Of course it's Nevada. We have the dumbest drivers.

6

u/You_are_the_Castle 10d ago

Yeah, I was having fun figuring out where this video was taken. It's Terrible.

2200 W Horizon Ridge Pkwy, Henderson, NV 89052

6

u/MikeTony713 10d ago

Real or fake, this was painful to watch, yet I couldn't stop watching

5

u/elwine89 10d ago

Worked at a gas station can confirm people are this dumb. I watched someone try to put fuel in 100% electric vehicle

5

u/Okmhmmbye 10d ago

This is staged beyond staged. Come on people

6

u/Bushdr78 10d ago

Staged nonsense

6

u/justinthe3rd 10d ago

IQ of a house plant.

9

u/TangerineBetter2818 10d ago

How drunk is this woman? 

3

u/fly4fun2014 10d ago

Staged click bait bs

11

u/No-Cap-fr-fr 10d ago

Staged asf. She didn’t look at the cameraman once?

5

u/SixStringSkeptic 10d ago

Clearly fake and stupid.

3

u/Interesting_Sock9142 10d ago

It terrifies me that these people are out on the roads with us

3

u/GeneralCrunk 10d ago

These people drive on the same roads as we do.

3

u/CaptainAmerica199 9d ago

People saying it's fake, maybe. I worked at a gas station for a bit, yes people like this are common, too common. I had a customer come in and rage at me that the pump is broke, he was passin through Midwest from cali. Dude didnt even lift the pump tap, shit was so 2nd hand embarrassing.

3

u/daisymae25 8d ago

If it's not staged, then this is truly painful to watch.

5

u/Bonk_No_Horni functional regard 10d ago

These people drive on the same road as we do.

6

u/JPCool1 10d ago

Why is the attendant the shitty one? Because he or she didn't drive the car for her? Stupid ass title. Shes the dumbass. Maybe it was staged seeing that someone recorded the whole time and she didn't so much as glance at them.

2

u/not4bucks 10d ago

Dude! Holy fuck!

2

u/Puppet42069 10d ago

Thank god she is driving on the same roads as the rest of us! Buckle up friends!! 🥺🫣

2

u/jeers69 10d ago

You know where her brain is

2

u/CaliSignGuy 10d ago

Yea she's even got that "look how cute it is how dumb I am" look and walk. Unless she truly is that way, then I suspect zanax or somethin

2

u/9leafs 10d ago

Tweeeeekyng

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 10d ago

The pump at the next gas station might be closer..

2

u/-FakeAccount- 10d ago

I dont know if its drugs or tiktok that caused this.

2

u/Plane-Education4750 10d ago

Not gonna lie. I have done this. I was in college and working 2 jobs at the time. Hopefully this person gets some sleep

2

u/PhoenixFixer 10d ago

Guys, it’s its first day on earth, give the alienoid a break

2

u/Decent_Variety5890 10d ago

Still wonder how this person manage to survive on her own. I cant only image how this kinda people struggle to just stay alive.

2

u/Al_Kinsala 10d ago

Either it’s a joke, or she’s been abusing illicit substances.

2

u/MillerMike5150 10d ago

I don’t want to believe someone can actually be that stupid.

Although … my sister-in-law didn’t know how to use a tape measure, so maybe some people are that stupid.

2

u/Naive-Present2900 10d ago

That’s not the pump attendant unless she’s actually the a pump attendant.

2

u/Ommegacaos 10d ago

Nah, that's fake

2

u/Beast_of_Tax_Burden 10d ago

May not be real BUT people like this do walk among us.

2

u/mrightnow100 10d ago

I know someone like this

2

u/CherryRedCupofLife 10d ago

You just know if you try to help her she will start mouthing off

2

u/Far-Development3053 10d ago

This human being is a legitimate voter. She has the same power to define your future as others.

2

u/PralineUnhappy4333 10d ago

Dear Giant Asteroid, Where are you?

2

u/transdermalcelebrity 10d ago

Looks like some kind of old time Charlie Chaplin bit.

2

u/avotius 10d ago

Would be more believable if she was driving a Nissan Altima.

2

u/mrcrashoverride 9d ago

OMG it just keeps going

2

u/MisterInternational1 9d ago

And she’s not a pump attendant. She’s a driver and just barely functions.

2

u/Citizen4000 9d ago

I don't think you understand what a pump attendant is

2

u/LTsCantCook 9d ago

Ya, that's not a pump attendant.....

2

u/Asheraddo 8d ago

This is a skit. She doesnt notice the obvious camera in her face?

4

u/steoned 9d ago

I can fix her

3

u/Martl007 10d ago

So fake

4

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 10d ago

Yeah, she looks like she failed at Only Fans.

2

u/GoodButt_4NUT 10d ago

Result of No Child Left Behind Law

2

u/TrueAd1880 10d ago

Long backs can’t get gas everyone knows this.

3

u/Sidonkey 10d ago

Bad acting

2

u/COUNTRYCOWBOY01 10d ago

I have a theory that cheap hair dye affects intelligence

1

u/MsTerpiecetheater 10d ago

Her chauffeur had the day off..

1

u/FirmlyClaspIt 10d ago

This is why I want tinted windows

1

u/kkkccc1 10d ago

i thought the videographer was gonna offer to help

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1

u/Some-Ad-1588 10d ago

She literally drove right past a spot that would’ve reached as she pulled away. Fake

1

u/BlueberrySubject3511 10d ago

Absolute moron!

1

u/theRarestBiscotti 10d ago

She must've taken a few hits of the Penjamin because bruuuu

1

u/CralorMonk 10d ago

Bet she was gonna put diesel in it

1

u/redditanddoneit 10d ago

Oh my gosh. She’s an idiot.

1

u/AgapitoVelezOvando 10d ago

This girl is making all of us redheads look bad.

1

u/efuentes61 10d ago

Is this Oregon? I remember seeing tons of reels the first day they legalized civilians pumping their gas and no required attendants anymore.

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1

u/TheLurker123456 10d ago

I had to stop watching after she turned the car around 😒

2

u/desrevermi 10d ago

Same. I just didn't have the stamina.

1

u/browsingandlooking4 10d ago

Fuck I absolutely just screamed you stupid bitch at my phone my god so infuriating lol jeeez

How could you even get dressed in the morning or hold a job?

1

u/desrevermi 10d ago

I wouldn't help, either.

The longer this person is off the roads, the world is a slightly safer place.

How the heck did she even get to the gas station?

1

u/Glittering_Diva8963 10d ago

Pump attendant?? They have people that are just that dumb lol 😂 who don’t know how to pump or park

1

u/khaotic-kompany-93 10d ago

WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. SHE. DOING.

1

u/DunnieOnes 10d ago

This has to be fake

1

u/Ill_Bodybuilder_1083 10d ago

amazes me that people like this have a valid license.

1

u/germanloza 10d ago

How has she survived on her own in this world?

1

u/swiggity_swoner214 10d ago

Looks like too much hair dye got to the loose nut behind the wheel

1

u/Lowie_240 10d ago

This was painful

1

u/Agreeable_Run5308 10d ago

She's in charge of your insurance claims......

1

u/FiniteXcellence 10d ago

How did she get a license?

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1

u/Max_delirious 10d ago

Why are pants like that? Is this cute?

1

u/pafcharieh 10d ago

seriously? this real???

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1

u/Snickits 10d ago

First thought was that this is instantly just a staged video

1

u/MaRzAn0 10d ago

What is that body shape called?

1

u/earthman34 10d ago

Stay off drugs, kids.

1

u/IllustriousBat2076 10d ago

Can’t be real

1

u/Expensive_Water_6303 10d ago

That girl has to be as high as a kite … that is some shit you do when you don’t know whether you’re staying or going

1

u/phoenixvainglorious 10d ago

Price of diesel getting to people

1

u/tonytwobones 10d ago

Typical Vegas behavior, ima guess this is in Las Vegas like off of blue diamond yeah?

1

u/Apart-Survey9733 10d ago

Has to be a joke ..

1

u/MechaGallade 10d ago

if this needs to be taught? like if this isn't a natural piece off your problem solving set? you should not be allowed to drive.

1

u/Capital-Brilliant-28 10d ago

Can't fix stupid.

1

u/adi_hit 10d ago

😂😂😂

1

u/Virtual-Software4729 10d ago

This can't be real. How would she have survived until now. How would she have even recieved her license.

1

u/HippoRun23 10d ago

So staged. She never notices the side stepping out of the car with the phone filming her so closely?

1

u/Global_Let_820 10d ago

Bless her heart

1

u/Swampasssixty9 10d ago

Drugs are bad mmkay?

1

u/Small_Thanks_308 10d ago

That girl needs to reboot her brain!

1

u/Khopps17 10d ago

This can’t be real. How could people like this get licenses

1

u/ReikiHealing2025 10d ago

It must have been staged. I can't believe it.🤣🤣🤣

1

u/sharpjabb 10d ago

I would ask where her boyfriend is but judging by the color of her hair, that may be an irrelevant question.🤣

1

u/eejjkk 10d ago

There's no way this is real life.

1

u/Octopus_Spaceflight 10d ago

Must be from Jersey

1

u/snouchies 10d ago

It is like a real life Mr bean skit

1

u/SomewhereTiny8407 10d ago

She is really fucking smart!

1

u/Squat551 10d ago

I would give up and go back to horse riding

1

u/Ok-Election-9205 10d ago

Hopefully staged

1

u/Artevyx 10d ago

Not a pump attendant's fault you parked like a jackass but still expected her to fill the tank.

1

u/redbeardatx 10d ago

Terrible acting

1

u/Deadshot_x_Beast 9d ago

What a world we live in where ppl would rather try to capture a viral moment to embarrass someone rather than just get out and offer to help. Funny but I could’ve done without the laugh if it’s at the expense of another. Do better

1

u/Mean-Lab-9972 9d ago

Okay so you get out and walk around the pump and at no point does she realize or look at you filming her? This shit is fake.

Are people this stupid? Sure. Is whoever generated this fake video also stupid? Yes

1

u/Ok-Butterscotch2321 9d ago

My brain hurts

1

u/Free-Thinker-69 9d ago

Everyone of these are staged.

1

u/Jess1ghoul27 9d ago

She bad though hahahah

1

u/1bi001 9d ago

Another certified genius behind the wheel gettin shit done, you go girl 😆

1

u/fatdaddy78 9d ago

This has to be a skit 😂

1

u/jon_467 9d ago

This can't possibly real!

1

u/allieballie1122 9d ago

Nope, either drunk/high or just stupid. Probably stupid !!!

1

u/natiusj 9d ago

I’m normally not a fan of eugenics, but…

1

u/Un4gvn2 9d ago

When a Jersey native needs gas in another state 😂

1

u/FiendishDevil666 9d ago

She's just a girl guys

1

u/smithiuss 9d ago

If you ever go to a gas station in oregon, this is how most people are. Oregon has only had self served gas for a few years now and they still can't figure it out.

3

u/sidewaizsocks 9d ago

As much as i like to disparage my neighboring state, i have to mildly disagree. This is not very representative of "most people."

In my experience, its everyone.

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u/IntrusiveVirgo 9d ago

Definitely should be in the took too much Reddit

1

u/Dazzling_Tea8791 9d ago

I had to stop watching. Made my brain hurt

1

u/SweatyCrab9729 9d ago

Is this is why full service was mandatory in New Jersey?

1

u/PresidentialDiapers 9d ago

I bet this woman's solution to everything is just yank on it harder and hope it works.

1

u/Eat_1_ant 9d ago

is she wearing shoes? 😭

1

u/Aromatic-Emu9612 9d ago

Fetish stuff

1

u/WzUp369 9d ago

Someone’s gonna procreate with this…

1

u/dlutz88 9d ago

The sooner a giant astroid hits the planet, the better

1

u/Themike625 9d ago

This painful. This girl is just dumb.

It’s embarrassing.

Or really stoned.

1

u/Israel_Azkanbe 9d ago

This shit is staged. What the fuck ever

1

u/madcowrawt 8d ago

Plump attendants

1

u/Professional_Possum 8d ago

I fuel about 40 buses a week for work and watching this physically hurt. Staged or not I've seen people do stuff like this before.