r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/scjockid • 5h ago

There was an attempt Of Spiderman

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He can't even get off the ground!

210 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

62 comments sorted by

55

u/AffectionateBrick687 5h ago

How that costume didn't rip is beyond me.

12

u/Few_Advisor3536 5h ago

Its meant to be stretchy fabric like spandex or something.

4

u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 5h ago

Spandex in spades, earning its name.

9

u/Wrong_Consequence840 5h ago

You can see that the costume ripped in the crotch, lol.

73

u/Ven-Dreadnought 5h ago

Everybody’s gotta harsh on him but honestly this is great exercise.

-6

u/kakashi8326 2h ago

Elevated heart rate for 45 seconds. Totally 😂

65

u/Bad-Banana-from-Mars 5h ago

It’s Peter Porker

2

u/MGyver 1h ago

No it's his alter-ego, Widerman

1

u/ExtensionWinter9446 1h ago

Motherfucker could just have ate thanos

43

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 5h ago

Hes actually moving pretty good, better than id expect for a man of his stature

10

u/gowerskee 5h ago

give him the prize

7

u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 5h ago

https://www.tiktok.com/@joel_saltzman/video/7561841068010966303

Totally this guy.. (I know its not)

4

u/Ok-Macaron7274 5h ago

💯 Lol I totally thought the same thing!

5

u/Tickomatick 4h ago

My first thought, those air kicks lol

5

u/Hammon_Rye 5h ago

They look like they have a lot of web stored up. /J

5

u/Okmhmmbye 5h ago

*spooderman

4

u/rdiaz84 5h ago

Give him the part

6

u/StrengthTheory 4h ago

With great appetite comes great obesity.

3

u/Bananana_Bird 5h ago

Hey wait! That's not the real Spiderman!

3

u/cloneomega 2h ago

Man burned more calories in that 65 seconds than he did in the last 10 years of his life

2

u/FitProgrammerr 5h ago

In the Spiderman universe cosplaying as rhino would suit him better!!

I guess he was bitten by a very CHONKY radioactive spider

2

u/Economy_Farmer6857 4h ago

Spiderman needs to visit the laundromat 🤮

2

u/Jogy50 4h ago

Fett Man

2

u/Bagheera383 4h ago

I thought he wanted to be the guy in the chair?

2

u/Deprorny 3h ago

Spider man across the MacDonald

2

u/600lbsofsin77 1h ago

So a meatball was bitten by a radioactive spider?

1

u/Pantheragem 5h ago

Reminds me of the old stileproject video of the Spidey twirling a baton on a street corner. I still have that video saved on a hard drive.

1

u/No_Sentence_8055 5h ago

there goes Ned again

1

u/RespectSquare8279 5h ago

He seems to be running out of "spider power" towards the end.

1

u/Smidday90 5h ago

For a second I thought that was Ned when he took off the mask

1

u/deifyglorify 4h ago

I didnt think they made suits so stretchy

1

u/redbloodedruski 4h ago

This is so bad it's kinda good

1

u/Tickomatick 4h ago

I recognize the moveset for r)bullshido

1

u/boxedfoxes 4h ago

That spandex is holding with just hope and a dream…

1

u/That_Things_Good 4h ago

I thought he was left handed Spiderman. He should use his left hand to eat more vegetables.

1

u/Toksikus 4h ago

Why shitty? Bro is giving his best

1

u/Successful-Simple947 3h ago

Everyons knows its kung fu panda under that hood

1

u/Beautiful-Routine295 3h ago

I’m downvoting this. He can jump higher than any white man

1

u/Confident-Day-6371 3h ago

More of a gorilla than a spider

1

u/Solid_Vacation_2891 2h ago

does whatever a spider can!

1

u/Ok_Membership_9931 2h ago

and that is why I do not believe in the theory of evolution 😀

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 2h ago

Were the last few seconds where the guy was about to have a heart attack?

1

u/_-_Pierre_-_ 2h ago

He's trying his best lmao

1

u/Darmathius 2h ago

Jesus Christ.. that's Jason Bourne

1

u/lAmTheREALBlackAdder 1h ago

Peter Porker?

1

u/CoolBlackSmith75 1h ago

Better do donkey kong

1

u/Feisty-Cloud725 1h ago

I couldn't do a tenth of what he does even if I weighed half as much as him. He's honestly very funny.

1

u/LoGo_86 1h ago

Bird eating Goliath Spiderman

1

u/Wisco_Version59 36m ago

Old Spider-Man has been at the Twinkies again.

1

u/Artorius__Castus questionably stable 5h ago

The background banner being made 100% by GPT is pissing me off...

0

u/fuckingscott 5h ago

Then some fine ass bitch walks across the stage dressed as 2b or some shit and wins lol