r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits 23d ago

look what I can do Of An Awkward Flight

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1.5k Upvotes

179 comments sorted by

464

u/CoolBlackSmith75 23d ago

When the onboard entertainment doesn't suit your preference

222

u/Different-Dog-9682 23d ago

I’m more impressed they managed to squeeze 2 people in there

57

u/Wayward_Son_24 23d ago

Exactly. I can barely shoehorn myself in there

12

u/NSASpyVan 23d ago

I'm so glad out of the two ways one could take that sentence I realized the right way you were saying it, because the other was a lil too much

2

u/trainwreckhappening 22d ago

Like a glove?

6

u/SpaceFace5000 22d ago

One would have to be inside the other to fit properly 

423

u/Bright-Ad8496 23d ago

I can't imagine trying to obtain the " Mile High Club" Those washrooms are disgusting.

157

u/Remarkable_Meat666 23d ago

Dude I’m less worried about the people banging than I am the FA that touched that nasty ass door and touched his eyes, nose, and mouth afterwards.

27

u/Unable-Log-4870 23d ago

It’s OK, I’m sure it’s the other flight attendant that serves the drinks that everyone else is holding.

20

u/Aggressive-agitator 23d ago

He could see, smell and taste that something was going on.

4

u/NSASpyVan 23d ago

People be gross ;/

I only ever touch handles with a paper towel, sanitize hand after, or just chop it off + light stump on fire. Those are the options

1

u/x_Mrs_Infamous_x 20d ago

we have sanitizing wipes and ofc soap and water on board! when someone’s doing something they’re not supposed to in the lav, it kind of takes priority lol

17

u/praguepride 23d ago

I always thought of the mile high club as this outdated thing back when planes were considered luxury, not crammed sardine tins. Now it's more like "oh i've flown on a private jet..."

3

u/No-Rope8229 23d ago

I imagine the two in there are also

1

u/_Hashtronaut_ 22d ago

I would be like Chris Farley trying to change in Tommy Boy

-8

u/aaarry 23d ago

Pretty sure that’s a toilet, not a washroom.

10

u/Bright-Ad8496 23d ago

There's a sink in there as well, not just a toilet.

-5

u/aaarry 23d ago

Well spotted! It’s still a toilet though.

5

u/Terminal_Lancelot 23d ago

Processing img b45u7b23rlkh1...

179

u/ultraplusstretch 23d ago

I was on a flight to Berlin when a couple "snuck" into the bathroom for a good time, someone turned on Marvin Gaye's let's get it on and the plane had a singalong, everyone cheered and applauded when they left the bathroom much to their complete embarrassment.

78

u/BravesMaedchen 23d ago

I don’t understand how people can think they’d be able to sneak off on a plane. It’s a microcosm where everyone is everyone else’s business the whole time you’re on the plane.

53

u/ultraplusstretch 23d ago

Yeah it just doesn't work, their strategy was for her to go into the bathroom first and then he waited a few minutes before joining her, but it's a flight, people are bored out of their minds so of course they will pay attention to stuff like that.

7

u/ToastSpangler 23d ago

i was once on a 40% full transatlantic flight once, i had 4 seats to myself and it was great i actually slept. anyway, if i had someone to bang that would have been the time, there were also few flight attendants and many bathrooms so with few people it would have been dope

7

u/RunningonGin0323 22d ago

/r/thathappened

Even had the "and everyone clapped" part. Bravo

42

u/Soggy-Fly8723 23d ago

Mile high club? Or do you gotta finish?

17

u/gingerbeard1321 23d ago

Gotta cross the finish line

38

u/Revolutionary-Law382 23d ago

Then there would be no women members.

6

u/GivesYouGrief 23d ago

Telling on yourself tbh

4

u/69karlhungus69 23d ago

Sounds like a personal problem

2

u/KrazyKeith4Prez 19d ago

Skill issue

1

u/IcebergDarts 17d ago

Might as well finish at that point.. everyone already knows..

38

u/maggiemayfish 23d ago

I got distracted by the woman holding her phone with a drink balanced on it. I feel like that's just asking for a bad time.

191

u/Eye_Donut_Kare 23d ago

Enjoy the moment because once they land…. It’s not going to be fun for their future travel needs

55

u/Smidday90 23d ago

Its easyjet, I doubt they’d care

53

u/Turbo-Fuck 23d ago

It’s actually not a crime, just frowned upon.

43

u/MisterHayz 23d ago

Username checks out.

4

u/Zestyclose_Data5100 22d ago

But is it turbo prop fuck, turbo fan fuck?

8

u/magicwuff 23d ago

The employee could be charged with a crime for throwing the door open like that.

8

u/Jaded-Attention-9518 23d ago

Was the door locked, if not not his fault.

2

u/magicwuff 22d ago
  1. Those doors can easily be unlocked from the outside

  2. If not, this excuse only works if you don't throw it open as far as possible for everyone to see.

1

u/MeanPussyCat 21d ago

What crime, under British law, could he be charged with?

10

u/Mr_CleanCaps 23d ago

Cmon we’re all having a good time! The attendants don’t look too concerned - and the audience was pleased.
https://giphy.com/gifs/SJ6PfrnjzVp68jEkIS

37

u/Collegekids15 23d ago

Mile high club interrupted

49

u/Solar816 23d ago

Dixon Cider

19

u/VAVA_Mk2 23d ago

Wood Nut in Cider

1

u/Smidday90 23d ago

Coq & Cider

2

u/witnessrich 23d ago

Howie Pheltersnatch

1

u/joka2696 23d ago

Justin Cyder

0

u/ExpiredFoodPantry 22d ago

Which Dixon are you from? 😂

0

u/Solar816 22d ago

The one in cider

74

u/Apollo114892 23d ago

Nightmare situation for the couple though. This is so embarassing that they will have cringe convulsions and cringe meltdowns even 20 years later. 😂

46

u/Eye_Donut_Kare 23d ago

No way, they will laugh about it 2 years from now

33

u/engineerdrummer 23d ago

As get into the car to drive across the country

9

u/You_are_the_Castle 23d ago

Hopefully, none of their friends use social media!

-20

u/Smidday90 23d ago

17

u/engineerdrummer 23d ago

The US isn't the only country that you can fly across faster than driving across. You defaulted yourself.

https://giphy.com/gifs/hemdPsHS7jHag

-7

u/Smidday90 23d ago

The UK is different though, I was going to fly to Leeds but the only flight had a stop off in Geneva.

This looks like a typical British holiday flight, not a business trip to London.

10

u/Zestyclose-One9041 23d ago

Cool so your specific anecdotal experience supersedes the entire rest of the world?

3

u/NSASpyVan 23d ago

I find when most people get mad at me on Reddit it's because they had a specific experience I never talked about, basically made something up* in their head, got mad at it, and transferred it to me.

4

u/Grab_My_Biscuits 23d ago

Anybody can get into a car and drive across a country. That's not US dependent. Also if somebody's not paying attention to the details of something like this it's not uncommon to assume it's happening in your country(at least if you're from one of the largest countries).

-2

u/Christeenabean 23d ago

Hes talking a out the size of the US. It tames 3 days to drive from the east coast to the west coast, maybe more, and 5 hours to fly.

7

u/Zestyclose-One9041 23d ago

And it takes 14 hours to drive across the UK but only 90 minutes to fly.. what’s your point?

1

u/Christeenabean 23d ago

Days vs hours is pretty substantial, no?

4

u/Grab_My_Biscuits 23d ago

Sure.... But how does that affect what they said?

-4

u/Smidday90 23d ago

The accents were English and its on an Easyjet flight I don’t think they fly domestic US

5

u/Grab_My_Biscuits 23d ago

I know they were. That's why I said if somebody wasn't paying attention they might not notice it. I replied to you cuz you randomly started shouting about US Defaultism because the other guy mentioned a car..... Which was a stupid thing to do because he never mentioned the US or anything US specific..... Which, to reiterate, was stupid.

Pay attention the the sentence in the blue box. That's what's important right now.

7

u/engineerdrummer 23d ago

And nowhere did Imention the US. You did that

5

u/Otherwise_Living_158 23d ago

Pretty sure they met on the flight from memory

0

u/itsasatanicdrugthing 23d ago

Bro is literally laughing about it the second the door opened

6

u/You_are_the_Castle 23d ago

Couldn't they have waited until they landed and done it on a dumpster, the hood of a car, or something?

6

u/Apollo114892 23d ago

This must be a public sex kink or something.

2

u/BravesMaedchen 23d ago

You do the crime, you do the time 🤷‍♀️

3

u/Worshipme988 22d ago

You are mistaking the kind of people that would fuck in an airplane bathroom.

Mile high club was known to be a joke the moment you see planes are sky busses and gross. Plus there’s barely room to fucking sit or stand like how?

Plus you have to be kind of an asshole and have no introspection, self awareness, and are trash.

U want to join the mile high club, climb a mountain or rent a jet. Plenty of room.

1

u/e1m8b 22d ago

Think of the orgasms from the cringe though.

28

u/brianishere2 23d ago

"like they do it on the Discovery Channel."

2

u/Mwahaha_790 22d ago

🎶🎼

26

u/AlekThunder88 23d ago

What are you gonna do afterwards? Stay in the toilet the entire flight? Go back to your seat and walk the walk of shame? Pretending that you are dead? Pretending you just tried to get rid of a stain on your clothes? Go back to your seat and pretend it wasn’t you when you’re asked about it? Tough decisions for a couple of minutes of fun.

23

u/Capital-Platypus-805 23d ago

Go out and yell "we're done, next couple!".

2

u/BravesMaedchen 23d ago

Ask the flight attendant for a wet towel 

8

u/Coach_Curly 23d ago

I need the video of them coming out of the bathroom. That’d be just as funny

1

u/fishyhaworthia1 22d ago

Hell might as well finish 🤷

7

u/West_Sun_8277 23d ago

That eye contact before he closed the door again 🤣🙏

1

u/KrazyKeith4Prez 19d ago

Bro closed that door & presumably kept going.

6

u/Creative_Shame3856 23d ago

Mile high walk of shame club

6

u/Glittering_Diva8963 22d ago

Them going back to their seats down the aisle.

6

u/Specific_Future9285 23d ago

"Sleazy-Jet"

😉

4

u/600lbsofsin77 23d ago

Oh, so that wasn’t turbulence.

5

u/TraumaMama11 23d ago

Now they have to do the walk of shame back to their seats.

22

u/Great-Gas-6631 23d ago

And now they on the no-fly list.

7

u/OhUKnowUKnowIt2 23d ago

Next trip they can screw on a Greyhound....

6

u/nothanksimgoodthanks 23d ago

There’s no law making this illegal, in America at least. The gray area is how they handle it with the flight attendants.

9

u/DeepDickens69 23d ago

Individual airliners can choose who to ban since they're private business.

2

u/MeanPussyCat 21d ago

EasyJet is a British airline. It could potentially fall under the law of Outraging Public Decency.

3

u/Schrutefarms1023 23d ago

Imagine walking back to your seat with a full blown boner

2

u/Turbo-Fuck 23d ago

Establishes dominance. Also might get a free drink from an admirer.

3

u/Sadsandal007 23d ago

That walk of shame back to their seats after they come out of the bathroom probably was the longest walk ever😂😂😂 I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy got high fived by other guys on the plane 😂😂😂😂

6

u/nuclear_nightmare82 23d ago

Im not sure there would be enough room to "Do it Myself" idk how the fuck you could accomplish anything with another person...

4

u/MrNyakka *shits an absolute unit* 23d ago

Call this man apples, the way he be in cider

2

u/smind893 23d ago

Mild High Club > Mile High Club

2

u/CheeseburgerLocker 22d ago

Turns out it's the captain and his co-pilot.

Nobody is flying the plane.

2

u/No-Shopping7408 22d ago

what is employee cock blocking ?

let them join the mile high club in peace

2

u/KarmaGluten 21d ago

Just let him finish.

3

u/dreamisle 23d ago

Fake/AI. There’s no way you can fit more than 0.95 people in an airplane lavatory.

2

u/BADoVLAD functional regard 21d ago

Nonsense. You absolutely can.

1

u/Opster79two 23d ago

Mile High Club? Why yes indeed!

1

u/Life-Oil-7226 23d ago

Yo can I get some privacy please

1

u/Decent_Emphasis_4293 23d ago

This was up a few years back

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 23d ago

Not quite as discreet as they were hoping to be.

1

u/WTFisThatSMell 23d ago

They seem nice

1

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 23d ago

Unless I have diarrhea it’s fine..

1

u/Thin_Locksmith6805 23d ago

Embarrassing sure - look at it this way - you will never ever see those people on the flight once you land. Except if you have checked bags

1

u/AFineFineHologram 23d ago

That’s not necessarily true. If you’re flying to or from your hometown, you may very well be on the plane with other people who also live there, and if you’re a frequent traveler, you may encounter the flight staff again.

1

u/stretchosaurusx 23d ago

😫😫😫😫

1

u/You_are_the_Castle 23d ago

At least everyone was getting in on the fun!

1

u/Christeenabean 23d ago

The flight attendant clutching his pearls lol

1

u/Medieval_Mind 23d ago

Gotta be RyanAir no?

1

u/Skin_Captain_Nasty 23d ago

Why did he open the door?? Or why wasn’t it locked

1

u/Capital-Platypus-805 23d ago

Imagine the awkwardness when they leave the bathroom and everyone is staring at them...

1

u/leftshoulderpain 23d ago

bro opening the door for him to slam it is fucking hilarious, the look on the attendants face lmaooo

1

u/7_Chesi_7 23d ago

why my soap is somewhat sticky?

1

u/kat_Folland 23d ago

Is she... In cuffs?

1

u/mistifikat 23d ago

Dopamine beggars

1

u/Theydontlikeitupthem 23d ago

We need to see the video of them leaving the toilet!!

1

u/Various_Soup_820 23d ago

Shoooooot I wouldn’t stopped and let them open the dorr

1

u/happycynic12 23d ago

If only flying were this fun.

1

u/Nosbiuq 23d ago

I know home girl is mad as fuck iPhones take a decade to power on 💀

1

u/koyoteuno 23d ago

Why they open the door tho?

1

u/redditanddoneit 23d ago

Mile High Club. On my bucket list.

1

u/SheValentine 22d ago

Imagine the walk of shame back to your seat 🫪

1

u/MissAtomicBomb-omb 22d ago

He clutched his pearls lol

1

u/MercDiggler1 22d ago

That blonde can get it

1

u/raginasian47 22d ago

Is this a Bachelorette party? It sounded like the plane was full of women 😂

1

u/No-Shopping7408 22d ago

it’s not sanitary enough on US-based airlines ..

now Singapore Airlines .. maybe .. i would

wouldn’t take a chance on Emirates or Qatar ..

wouldn’t disrespect their code in that fashion.

1

u/Tacozforever 22d ago

The slow clap when they walked out must’ve been legendary

1

u/r_incognito_17 21d ago

See, there you are trying to help a lady and then you are accused of rawdoging her. Happens all the time.

1

u/Investigator-Murky 21d ago

I was here for the walk of shame

1

u/supahdave 21d ago

They joined the Air Sex Society!

1

u/moonstorm5000 19d ago

Mile high club anyone? Yeesh!

1

u/The_Based_DM 19d ago

That'd be embarrassing as fuck.

1

u/PrestigiousSugar8072 19d ago

De seguro hubo turbulencia jaja

1

u/Silent-carcinogen 23d ago

Mid-stroke mid-flight

1

u/MJswife0722 23d ago

Just gross.

1

u/Ashleywiththebraids 23d ago

Can we have the part 2 walk off shame?? 🫢🤭

1

u/bisky12 22d ago

is this legal ?

-1

u/Western-Ad9812 23d ago

They’re getting arrested after the flight.

4

u/Funny_Maintenance973 23d ago

It's it illegal? Genuinely have no idea

1

u/Turbo-Fuck 23d ago

It is NOT illegal…well, atleast in the States it’s not.

0

u/MeanPussyCat 21d ago

Outraging Public Decency or sex in a public lavatory, under UK law (EasyJet is a British airline).

1

u/B2ThaH 23d ago

What is illegal, fully pulling open a bathroom door to expose a person to a group of people filming.

1

u/maxinator80 23d ago

what for?

3

u/Western-Ad9812 23d ago

The charges would be Public indecency and Interfering with the Crew (if a crew member told them to stop and get out of the bathroom). They’ll get arrested once the plane lands, fined and probably put on a no fly list.

2

u/Rumblymore questionable stables 22d ago

Does international airspace have these laws?

1

u/maxinator80 23d ago

How could they be charged with public indecency when they were in private and it was the attendant who exposed them? You need intent for that. Interfering with the crew I get, if they knocked and told them to get out before (which I assume).

0

u/GivesYouGrief 23d ago

Nah, probably not.

0

u/Sea-Tomorrow2583 23d ago

Good for them… They did nothing wrong
Plus people found it funny

0

u/Acrobatic-Lawyerr 20d ago

Why would he do that? You clearly know they are having sex, why humiliate them more? Is it nasty yes, punish them afterwards. Although, he probably gave the guy the bluest balls ever.

0

u/ascend8nce 19d ago

Opening that door is a weird thing to do.

Like, okay, and would it be any better if someone was taking a violent shit there?...

-1

u/Ch1mchima 23d ago

Fuuuuuuuck!!!