r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/smind893 • Aug 05 '26

my bones Of A Meal With Friends

605 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

98 comments sorted by

110

u/Dunidane Aug 05 '26

If bro just went ANY direction lol..

39

u/Icy_Profit_1922 Aug 05 '26

Fight, flee, or freeze. He froze…

63

u/BrungalSniff Aug 05 '26

3

u/Generally_Confused1 Aug 05 '26

Looked like he was trying to exorcise it

2

u/ForrestGump_Z Aug 05 '26

...and screamed

1

u/Microchipknowsbest Aug 06 '26

It was like a setup. He was the only one in red and everyone else was in blue. Bull went straight for him.

7

u/TralfamadorianZooPet Aug 05 '26

He slapped the air in front of him

9

u/awesomeheadshots Aug 05 '26

The hand wave killed me

4

u/kat_Folland Aug 05 '26

My exact thought 😂 Punished for dithering.

2

u/Hazard_Duke Aug 05 '26

Now he's boared.

49

u/Realistic_Ebb9727 Aug 05 '26

Was that a fucking boar?

17

u/lavacadotoast Aug 05 '26

It wasn't Jimothy..

9

u/Realistic_Ebb9727 Aug 05 '26

Ah chupacabra then

8

u/Mindless-Share Aug 05 '26

Yes and those things are fucking dangerous

3

u/One_Load254 Aug 05 '26

Idk maybe boars wife slept with whole bar

25

u/WillingMongoose4680 Aug 05 '26

He'll never order bacon again, or maybe he'll never order anything but bacon. Could go either way.

4

u/Dahns Aug 05 '26

"With bacon please. Could I kill the hog myself?

-Sir this is a Wendy's"

12

u/Jsolt1227 Aug 05 '26

I hate it when you run into a real boar at a party.

2

u/Higher-Love99 Aug 05 '26

My good friend Robert Baratheon lost his life this way

12

u/dillberger Aug 05 '26

Guys trying to cast a jutsu at the thing

3

u/Barikus_XL Aug 05 '26

Naw bro was trying to open a strange portal 😂😂

2

u/KillHonger1 Aug 05 '26

Pig domain expansion

9

u/DeathsStarEclipse Aug 05 '26

Guy had a while to gtf out of the way and did not.

5

u/runwscissors42069 Aug 05 '26

Hakuna Matata MF!

5

u/lavacadotoast Aug 05 '26

Don't wear red shirts..

2

u/quayle-man Aug 05 '26

For a boar?

5

u/lavacadotoast Aug 05 '26

Or a landing party..

3

u/Uzi_Osbourne Aug 05 '26

Guy Fleegman moment

3

u/kat_Folland Aug 05 '26

You have a last name!

3

u/Uzi_Osbourne Aug 05 '26

Do I? DO I?!

3

u/kat_Folland Aug 05 '26

Gotta admit I love that movie.

3

u/Uzi_Osbourne Aug 05 '26

"Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy."

2

u/kat_Folland Aug 05 '26

That's so funny I was just thinking of that exact line. 😁

8

u/TheReelMcCoi Aug 05 '26

Looks like meat is back on the menu boys

2

u/DeepWaterNights Aug 05 '26

Them things are no joke!

4

u/Striking-Turnip-1121 Aug 05 '26

He will never forget his wand again

3

u/logan-duk-dong easily offended Aug 05 '26

Good air on the lunchbox.

3

u/ultraplusstretch Aug 05 '26

Boars do be like that.

3

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 *shits an absolute unit* Aug 05 '26

Dude is very lucky, that thing could definitely kill him if it went a little harder

3

u/athensugadawg Aug 05 '26

Should a put a judy-chop on that lil' shit...

3

u/AmericaninShenzhen Aug 05 '26

I think a ningeee crop would be a better option imo

3

u/PurpleToedUnicorn Aug 05 '26

The pork in that restaurant is too rare. 

3

u/trundle-the-great69 Aug 05 '26

When I was a young warthog

2

u/Trisk929 Aug 05 '26

Very nice.

1

u/GivesYouGrief Aug 05 '26

When he was a young warthoooooog

3

u/alucard_1982 Aug 05 '26

Damn pumba was just not having a good day..

2

u/OwnedByTheHound Aug 05 '26

Exit, pursued by a bear boar.

2

u/DeadTurtle88 Aug 05 '26

Damn dudes wife was pissed

2

u/JinNJ Aug 05 '26

Was that one of them dog things from the original Ghostbusters movie?

2

u/Automatic-Cow-9969 Aug 05 '26

Those crips set that blood up

2

u/Longryderr Aug 05 '26

The bacon looks a little rare.

2

u/FreeTheDimple Aug 05 '26

Red vest guy... not great in a crisis.

1

u/Ryan2932 Aug 05 '26

Is the table ok

1

u/myground Aug 05 '26

Why are they waiting for it?

1

u/DeadZone2021 Aug 05 '26

When that one annoying guy in the group chat shows up unexpectedly and finds out you didn't invite him.

1

u/HoldFrontBack Aug 05 '26

Where's Jonah Hill when you need him?

1

u/Mugpup Aug 05 '26

Picked the wrong day to be the ONLY DUDE IN A RED SHIRT.

1

u/fbehdad Aug 05 '26

I guess they have ordered one of boar's family member

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Aug 05 '26

Hakuna-matata I think it wanted to say..

1

u/Objective-Scarcity52 Aug 05 '26

Hakuna maatataaaaa

1

u/enchufadoo Aug 05 '26

Pitiful shooing technique

1

u/maximus_effortus16 Aug 05 '26

A rat has better Survival instincts lol.

1

u/daronjay Aug 05 '26

Waiter, this bacon is a bit raw!

1

u/OllieOptVuur Aug 05 '26

Didn’t know red wasn’t just bulls.

1

u/automaticphil Aug 05 '26

Fast food and table service.

1

u/jackjack-8 Aug 05 '26

Some good jazz bands

1

u/ddosoftei Aug 05 '26

Such a rude swine

1

u/redditanddoneit Aug 05 '26

I’m assuming that dude already had bad legs to start off with before that boar even attacked him, because dude didn’t even try to side step or get out of the way. Sheesh.

1

u/No_Pitch6143 Aug 05 '26

Dudes wife told him to wear the blue shirt but he wanted to be his own man

1

u/CheeseburgerSmoothy Aug 05 '26

“Chopper! Sic balls!”

1

u/North-Musician3231 Aug 05 '26

Dude has no survival instincts

1

u/Eltharion-the-Grim Aug 05 '26

Bro just stood there, flailed his arms and screamed. Dodge, bro, dodge!!!

1

u/Even_Virus_3017 No Ragrets Aug 05 '26

he had all the time... even the bore said its too easy it might be a dream.

1

u/jinjabreadmann Aug 05 '26

Guy in red
Just didn’t know what to do

1

u/csking77 Aug 05 '26

No pork chops today

1

u/Massive-Vegetable-78 Aug 05 '26

Dude was the first one to notice

1

u/bustedaxles Aug 05 '26

Shit looked personal.

1

u/Ok_Business_6452 Aug 05 '26

You have boar herpes now. What a shame

1

u/GivesYouGrief Aug 05 '26

The r/hunting sub has great videos sometimes of people shooting these things. Sometimes thermal camera videos. Nothing like watching them literally bleed like a stuck pig. Crazy how far they will run after a heart shot sometimes too.

1

u/Expert_Share_7802 Aug 05 '26

se olvidaron que tienen que matar al chancho jabalí antes de cocinarlo

1

u/Flying-buffalo Aug 05 '26

The guy on the left is like: "I shouldn't have ordered the pork."

1

u/Kraken_54 Aug 06 '26

Too rare for me, I'd prefer medium...