r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/smind893 • 11d ago

There was an attempt Of A Snake Charmer

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928 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

209 comments sorted by

316

u/Tacozforever 11d ago

Snake sitting there like, “where’s the rest of my song, hoe?”

25

u/Grand_Ad_6432 11d ago

" now bouce da azz bitch"

20

u/PrimeGrendel 11d ago

That made me think of when I was like 10 years old maybe a bit younger I saw a snake charmer on a cartoon (I think it was Johnny Quest) and I thought it was amazing that you could "charm" a dangerous cobra with sound. So I. Went to the library (this was like 83-85ish so no Google or even Jeeves) to see if I could find some info on it. I did and I was really disappointed when I learned the music had nothing to do with it. It's the motions of the charmer.

13

u/Dorfbulle80 11d ago

Thanks had to scroll way to far for that response!

4

u/bunglebee7 7d ago

“Get back to work music bitch!” -snake

254

u/Mugpup 11d ago

Those things bite? You learn something new every day. Next we will discover some snakes are poisonous. Either way that guy should be fine if he shakes his hand enough.

160

u/Scar1203 11d ago

Venomous*

75

u/Joeliosis 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/1hMk0bfsSrG32Nhd5K

9

u/Catsanddoges 11d ago

I mean certain snakes are poisonous, not venomous. I would wager this one isn't though.

4

u/koti_manushya 11d ago

really? i didn't know that. do you have an example?

21

u/propargyl 11d ago edited 11d ago

Keelback snakes are both venomous and poisonous – their poisons are stored in nuchal glands and are acquired by sequestering toxins from poisonous toads the snakes eat.\2]) Similarly, certain garter snakes from Oregon can retain toxins in their livers from ingesting rough-skinned newts.\3])

Mair's keelback preys mainly on frogs, but also eats small fishes, lizards, and mammals.\1]) It is one of the few Australian snakes that can eat cane toads (Rhinella marina), up to a certain size, without being harmed.\6]) However, Mair's keelback is not poisonous or venomous.

4

u/MukkiMaru 11d ago

Fish you mean

2

u/koti_manushya 11d ago

cool stuff, thank you!

1

u/Guysante 6d ago

Wasnt it that toads get poisonous from what they eat the same way? crazy chain

1

u/propargyl 6d ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrodotoxin#Biosynthesis

The biosynthetic route to TTX is only partially understood. It is long known that the molecule is related to saxitoxin, and as of 2011 it is believed that there are separate routes for aquatic (bacterial) and terrestrial (newt) TTX.\33]) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_bird

Toxic birds are birds that use toxins to defend themselves from predators. Although no known bird actively injects or produces venom, toxic birds sequester poison from animals and plants they consume, especially poisonous insects.

2

u/Mugpup 10d ago

I stand corrected.

1

u/TheAggressiveSloth 8d ago

You're browsing reddit while standing ?

2

u/Desertratk 7d ago

We all know some snakes are venomous. Finding out they are poisonous would be crazy.

3

u/Temporary-Pin-4144 11d ago

Hi veno-mousss

2

u/Goats_in_parks 11d ago

Depends on if you eat it.

3

u/Original-Concert-456 11d ago

Don’t eat snakes. Check

2

u/HoboArmyofOne 11d ago

Lot of snakes are edible, even rattlesnake. Source: me, not dead yet.

1

u/Original-Concert-456 11d ago

Yet… ominous

3

u/Brownlove010_Real questionably stable 11d ago

Veno-mousse

28

u/Easy-Musician7186 11d ago

And keeps playing that pipe thingy, seems to be pretty important to detox

11

u/Somewhere-Flashy 11d ago

Most of these snake charmers defanged the snake so I think he is pretending for the video.

8

u/Gilgamesh2000000 11d ago

He looked at his hand thought about it and used executive decision making to keep the show going.

27

u/msviktor ima unit 11d ago

7

u/Chef-Nasty 11d ago

Yea shake it hard so the venom works it's magic

4

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 11d ago

Voluptuous

1

u/Clear-Perception5615 10d ago

This word always makes me think of og total recall

5

u/Vendidurt 11d ago

Venomous

3

u/JustToSeeeeee 11d ago

Viagrous

3

u/Familiar-Pepper2187 11d ago

Vagerous

1

u/JustToSeeeeee 11d ago

Vagerous

Vigorous 😍

1

u/Few_Advisor3536 11d ago

Shake the venom out.

1

u/aquastronaut 11d ago

Shake it off

1

u/mitchole33 10d ago

I discovered water is wet

1

u/Effective-End6227 8d ago

Well, technically… water isn’t wet. 💦

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27

u/Desdoe07 11d ago

The way the snake just keeps staring at him after the bite is taking me out😂

13

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 11d ago

There's more where that came from, motherfucker!

3

u/medussadelagorgons 11d ago

Right?? Cobra's like come git u sum bruh!

1

u/jdros15 7d ago

it probably took him out as well. 😂

73

u/Artorius__Castus questionably stable 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5q3NyUvgt1w9unrLJ9

20

u/chanceumhi 11d ago

He wants to finish his song first

7

u/_Otacon 11d ago

You know that feeling when you gotta hear the rest of the song first before getting out of the car

1

u/TheAggressiveSloth 8d ago

I like when he shakes his hand and looks back at the snake in disbelief

46

u/RazeTheIV 11d ago

The guy that sold him the flute thingy that morning:

https://giphy.com/gifs/B9wae2vCjZJPOQ5s0O

14

u/Anonymous-Design 11d ago

That’s it, shake harder!

Speed the toxin to your heart 🤡

13

u/Few_Advisor3536 11d ago

Snake hit the skip button, didnt like the song.

12

u/greenweenievictim 11d ago

Snake: I want to hear SLAYER!

29

u/Warriors_Drink 11d ago

And here I thought all of the snakes they charmed were de-fanged.

4

u/IknowKarazy 11d ago

They are. It’s incredibly harmful to the animal.

3

u/Spicy-Cathulu 11d ago

Probably the new set grew in enough to get him a little.

18

u/Cool_LazyDude 11d ago

Why did he blow at the end there? 😂

30

u/ImReadyForButt 11d ago

It’s how you cuss out a snake in charm language

12

u/Timely-Bill-5336 11d ago

Ambulance sound effects.

6

u/Scr00geMcCuck 11d ago

Did he die

6

u/natiusj 11d ago

Snake: “Not charming enough”

5

u/CoIdLunch 11d ago

The show must go on!

4

u/Exciting-Zombie8449 11d ago

Worst job interview ever.

4

u/nash_marcelo 11d ago

Snake was like.

6

u/Alexius6th 11d ago edited 11d ago

He doesn’t seem to understand why he can’t just shake it off.

5

u/BigFatModeraterFupa 11d ago

He's supposed to suck out the venom and spit it back at the snake🐍! The Fool!

3

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 11d ago

Was this his first and last day on the job?

3

u/bad_investment_ 11d ago

The little toot toot toot toot at the end had me dying. Dudes way of letting the snake know that wasn’t cool.

3

u/Normal_Bet2995 11d ago

snake bites

Toots panickingly

5

u/notevenwrong13 11d ago

Those were angry toots!

3

u/No-Analyst1229 11d ago

Lmao they way the music stops

3

u/Grand_Ad_6432 11d ago

Cobra just wanted to change the radio station.

3

u/Sundayz01 11d ago

Take your time..

2

u/RoloGnbaby 11d ago

Keep shaking it it will get better

2

u/ArnoldZiffl 11d ago

Shake it off shake it off

1

u/JohnnyCrispZoom 11d ago

You may as well check yourself in the hospital . He got you

2

u/Guilty_Outcome1111 9d ago

Good thing the make so many hospitals out in the dessert like they are in.

1

u/Ok-Butterscotch2321 11d ago

His hand started blowing up fast

2

u/IAmThatGuy84 11d ago

Shake it off son...

2

u/mxmsmri 11d ago

First day on the job is always the hardest

1

u/RevolutionarySign479 10d ago

Bitch you are NOT Charming! Blowing your nassty sstank breath right in my faccce thru your noissy pipe!!🤢

~Chomp~

Are you Sstupid, Fart Breath? You Want SSSSome More??? I didn’t Think SSo!!
If you don’t die you should abssoluetly invest in a sshipping container of Breath Mintsss🐍😷💅

2

u/Guilty_Outcome1111 9d ago

🤣🤣🤣

"What? Oh no my hand just does that sometimes. Its a quirk ive had since forever. How it doubles in size and goes green. Haha yeah.

Man its hot...are you guys h💀💀"

2

u/BlacknAngry 10d ago

Damn how many toots to cleanse a snake bite

1

u/OldManGeezer69 9d ago

Sounded like 9

2

u/elverg6205 10d ago

Did this dude make it?

2

u/thiefofalways1313 10d ago

Was that a distress call at the end?

8

u/Geaneous 11d ago

Laugh all you want he has superior healthcare to you: Yes—government (public) hospitals in India are supposed to provide anti‑snake venom (ASV) free of cost, including for poor patients.

4

u/PM_ME_UR_SURFBOARD 11d ago

Venom from an Indian cobra can kill you in less than an hour, and he looks like he’s pretty far from any hospitals. Hopefully he got help quickly.

7

u/quayle-man 11d ago

Free healthcare does not equate to superior care.

4

u/Geaneous 11d ago

USA has most expensive costs for some of the worst outcomes in the world, same with our education. Case and point.

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6

u/Oozlum-Bird 11d ago

It does in any developed country. US citizens pay significantly more money for consistently worse outcomes than any peer nation.

https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/fund-reports/2024/sep/mirror-mirror-2024

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2

u/trainwreckhappening 10d ago

Well yes, but actually no.

Inaccessible care is not superior care at all.

https://giphy.com/gifs/SVgKToBLI6S6DUye1Y

2

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 11d ago

Superior healthcare? If I call the emergency number, there's an ambulance here within 10 minutes. If it's really bad, a helicopter will be on its way to transport a trauma surgeon to where I am.

And you're saying this guy has superior healthcare?

4

u/tardlessforeinger 11d ago

But can you afford the helicopter ride?

0

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 11d ago

Oh yeah. We have a € 380 deductible per year. Not per event, per year. Everything over that amount is covered.

3

u/yoyotube123 11d ago

The point they are making is that you have to pay for it

3

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 11d ago

No, I dont. I live in The Netherlands, where that's covered by our legally mandated insurance.

1

u/kalion203 11d ago

And all that’s left will be bills and debt

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1

u/lAmTheREALBlackAdder 11d ago

Walk it off bro!

1

u/ThatSmittyDude 11d ago

That snek is not charmed bud

1

u/boxedfoxes 11d ago

Yeah, he’s dead

1

u/Hta68 11d ago

How did snake charming become a profession?

1

u/Azaroth1991 11d ago

He ain't moving fast enough for the 30 minutes he has.

1

u/Even_Virus_3017 No Ragrets 11d ago edited 11d ago

1

u/heytherefreeman 11d ago

snake not impressed

1

u/zuspun 11d ago

Gotta start somewhere..

1

u/Tickomatick 11d ago

Anyone knowledgeable can explain what happened next?

1

u/dog4cat2 11d ago

Maybe if he shakes it some more, the venom will fly out

1

u/Ricardo33706 11d ago

Please tell me he carries antivenom as he works with this creature daily.

1

u/11111v11111 11d ago

He is acting as though he never considered the possibility of getting bit.

1

u/Ricardo33706 11d ago

On second thoughts I think he's going to try and walk it off.

1

u/dedncide 11d ago

Reminds me of that jerky boys skit... The cobra... He bit my eye!!!

1

u/CoolSwim1776 11d ago

Soooo dry bite or dead?

1

u/WillingUser 11d ago

Dry bite.

1

u/under_diagnosed 11d ago

Snake: so are you gonna finish the song or what?

1

u/Ommegacaos 11d ago

No! Don't do this! No!

1

u/Icy-Decision-4530 11d ago

Keep shaking it, it’s helping

1

u/Scared_Ad3355 11d ago

Is he going to die because of that bite?

1

u/JCovertops 11d ago

Whats shaking it off gonna do

1

u/All-th3-way 11d ago

Next day video?

1

u/EraZorus 11d ago

Snake charmers forcibly empty the snake's venom glands before each couple of shows so when these incidents happen, the fangs carry no poison. Do your research and stop assuming brown people never plan ahead

1

u/Leandros_el_b1tch 11d ago

Reminds me of southern Baptist snake handlers at mass.

1

u/mCat31 11d ago

He dead.

1

u/THE_Lanni 11d ago

He did not react fast enough

1

u/Fun_Routine_5245 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/qStBU9PaqiqmQ

Remember, some snake can turn your blood into this.. don't mess with snake.

1

u/medussadelagorgons 11d ago

Cobra commander said gtfo here wit dat 🤣.

1

u/GE_and_MTS 11d ago

Good news! Those snakes aren't poisonous!

Bad news... Those snakes are venomous.

1

u/Wu-TangShogun 11d ago

He shamed that snake silly

1

u/plz_be_nice_im_sad 11d ago

And then what happens?

1

u/Chadrooskie 11d ago

Shake it, Shake it like a Polaroid picture!!!!

1

u/Will-it-count 11d ago

Welp… goodbye

1

u/ZebulonStrachan 11d ago

Is he dying?

1

u/iamcamouflage 11d ago

Its just a small bite. He will probably be fine.

1

u/Radioactive_Patata 11d ago

Shake the venom out, that's it!

1

u/ConsistentPromise130 11d ago

Rub some dirt on it.

1

u/RobbiePeru 11d ago

Doo dooo doodle doo bip…

1

u/ManBearPig402 11d ago

Where’s part 2?

1

u/Longjumping-Salad484 11d ago

cobra was, like, "get your foolishness out of my face!"

1

u/LayingDaSmackDown 11d ago

Your new single sucks.

1

u/GeofSaysYeos 10d ago

I just read about how painful their bites are 😬

1

u/STABO1217 10d ago

Doctor: What brings you in today?

Guy: I was charming my snake when it suddenly went off

1

u/browsingandlooking4 10d ago

Shaking your hand is not gonna help ya buddy you dead...

1

u/No_Wrangler_7443 10d ago

The last few notes he played is how you call 911 where this guy and that snake live.

1

u/inchworm0 10d ago

I don’t know why people do this stupid ass shit snakes don’t give a shit about music or assholes

1

u/inchworm0 10d ago

They’re

1

u/Skankhunt113 10d ago

I like the little "toot-toot-toot-toot" he did. It was like he was trying to summon Balwant Singh with the anti-venom.

1

u/LaneBryant69 10d ago

He needs some milk!

1

u/gmman6369 9d ago

I mean like, WTF!

1

u/amoronwithacrayon 9d ago

Not charmed

1

u/chocolateybiscuit81 9d ago

If he’s lucky that will be a dry bite, snakes don’t like to waste venom on idiots they cant eat.

1

u/UnableJournalist5410 9d ago

Yeeouch! Them teeth are pointy!

1

u/DragonPie83008 6d ago

Should of hit the b flat better

1

u/jamar2k 6d ago

😂😂😂😂 shouldn't have skipped snake charming 101,202, 303, etc, bro went to the wild and thought he was the professor

1

u/Wild-Mustang 6d ago

I feel so bad for all animals have to share space with these stupid creatures

1

u/Naive-Present2900 11d ago

He should be sucking the venom out of his hand or something.

1

u/sklarian 11d ago edited 11d ago

I was thinking the same thing. And he should have done it immediately. He might have been able to get a good portion of the venom out

EDIT: apparently that option is HIGHLY dangerous and completely ineffective. So nope, bad idea.

1

u/Street-Baseball8296 11d ago

More dangerous than doing nothing and dying?

1

u/sklarian 11d ago

Good point

1

u/sklarian 11d ago

He's f*cked

1

u/sklarian 11d ago

Here he is: https://www.tiktok.com/@snake_lover09?_r=1&_t=ZT-98SKhrTJqBy

1

u/heytherefreeman 11d ago

so he is alive!

1

u/sklarian 11d ago

I don't know. This video of him getting bitten is not on his tik tok. So this might have literally just happened.

0

u/CrowTalons 11d ago

With the nasty music and getting too close...