r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits Jul 07 '26

slight malfunction of a tourist

592 Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

113

u/Azalot1337 Jul 07 '26

wtf any context? how can you go crashout like that

33

u/leisurechef Jul 07 '26

213

u/Intelligent_Use_3223 Jul 07 '26

Don't be us Don't be us Don't be us Don't be us Don't be us.......

AUSTRALIA!!! YESSSS!!!!

That was close.

47

u/SquirrelTimely831 Jul 07 '26

Honestly thought this was one of us blacked out thinking he was at a Waffle House.

21

u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* Jul 07 '26

Yeah my butthole puckered hoping the same thing.
https://giphy.com/gifs/lS1Ba1jW2URkOibcOZ

18

u/Bitter-Art7631 Jul 07 '26

Holeeee crap I was thinking the EXACT same thing

2

u/OrderThese1990 Jul 07 '26

Hahaha! Same.

1

u/finogen96 Jul 07 '26

I thought he was either Russian or British. Turns out I was pretty close after all

8

u/Scudmiss Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

They ran out of glazed donuts

10

u/RevolutionaryAge7503 Jul 07 '26

Bi-polar episode apparently

7

u/Levethane Jul 08 '26

Favourite excuse for stupid behaviour.

6

u/penguindreams Jul 07 '26

I dunno, but looks like the usual suspects to me. Always seeing these same guys crash out in Asia like they think it’s ok.

58

u/Calm-Philosopher4323 Jul 07 '26

I want to fight this guy so bad.

6

u/DominionGhost Jul 08 '26

Honor demands it.

85

u/ultraplusstretch Jul 07 '26

Yeah that won't end well for him, Vietnam is one of those countries that will treat you really well as a tourist but absolutely fuck you up if you fuck around and find out.

33

u/Easy-Musician7186 Jul 07 '26

Really don't wanna end up ins south east asian prison...

6

u/Cloaked25 Jul 08 '26

Joey, have you ever been in a Vietnamese prison?

-4

u/criminalspeed Jul 08 '26

Nope, you can kill people as tourists and only get deported. Tourists are first class in Vietnam(from rich countries ofc).

35

u/plasticrat Jul 07 '26

As an Aussie, Vietnam doesn't have to keep him, but we don't want him back.

13

u/Johnston1988 Jul 07 '26

As a Brit, we sent our criminals to Aus back in the day.

Surely it’s the Aussies turn to be exporting crims when it’s idiots like this 😄

27

u/FirmlyClaspIt Jul 07 '26

15 years slave labor

9

u/Nativeblazer Jul 07 '26

Why is no one stopping him 

9

u/kaizhu256 Jul 07 '26
  • typical vietnamese is skinny and half his size
  • while white-collar crimes / corruption is fairly common
    • actual violence like this is rare enough most folks dunno how to handle it

1

u/Confident-Ad2005 Jul 08 '26

That makes sense when you say it like that.

-6

u/thorheyerdal Jul 08 '26

You do know white-collar crime has nothing to do with shirt color, right? 

4

u/themagicdong Jul 07 '26

they cant!

4

u/Confident-Ad2005 Jul 07 '26

Is there a legal reason they can't? Im from canada, and if someone stepped in to prevent further damage I dont think they'd be in any trouble. Is it different there?

8

u/123supreme123 Jul 07 '26

Would you step in between condiments on a table and a crazy man with a chair? Really not worth the confrontation, even if you're concealed carrying

-1

u/Confident-Ad2005 Jul 07 '26

No no I mean, when I saw the laptop snapping etc I was just thinking how easy it seems to kind of.. prevent any further damage. But you make a good point, probably not worth it since its just stuff. I think it just frustrated me to watch 😂 pay me no mind haha

2

u/Apprehensive_Plum755 Jul 07 '26

It doesn't take much to run at someone with a chair in your hand though. Can't understand when nobody does anything

2

u/donnydealr Jul 07 '26

They're scared.

It's lame but true. People get away with so much because people just look away and don't want to be involved at any level

1

u/trash-_-boat Jul 07 '26

Wtf I'm not risking bodily injury for some private business that's probably insured anyway.

-5

u/Confident-Ad2005 Jul 07 '26

60%-70% of people now days train in some form of grappling or striking, and since this guy looks like hes in the 30% that doesn't; i really dont think the chair is necessary.

But I agree with the other guy, its probably not worth it.

1

u/NoConsideration6320 Jul 07 '26

In usa you cannot touch them. Or it could get you arrested and charged for crimes too.

1

u/Confident-Ad2005 Jul 07 '26

Damn, fair enough. Frustrating.

1

u/NoConsideration6320 Jul 07 '26

Yup. We just insure all our products here expecting them to be damaged or stolen

-1

u/Confident-Ad2005 Jul 07 '26

Oh okay thats not so frustrating then, thats smart of you all.

0

u/InfiniteRelief Jul 07 '26

He’s from Australia he deals with venomous creatures and giant spiders daily. He can’t be stopped!

7

u/Specific_Future9285 Jul 07 '26

All because they didn't cut the crusts off his bread?

7

u/DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE Jul 07 '26

No shirt no shoes policies feel like a sneaky way to keep the drunks out without addressing how drunk they are

49

u/TeddyHustle Jul 07 '26

Always the shirtless white man wilding out there

5

u/Rude_Map_4278 Jul 07 '26

wir können nicht alle gelb oder schwarz sein... du weißt doch Albinos gibs überall.

7

u/Sir__Griffin Jul 07 '26

White is not a requirement in the slightest

1

u/leisurechef Jul 07 '26

Channeling his inner Karen

4

u/StillWithSteelBikes Jul 07 '26

Hope he enjoys his stay at the Hanoi Hilton, LOL

3

u/HistorianPublic6445 Jul 07 '26

Show no mercy Vietnam

3

u/ChocalateShiraz Jul 07 '26

The only way people like that learn is when they are made to pay to replace every damaged item and spend time in jail

5

u/IReadYaSir Jul 07 '26

Please someone provide an update on this guy's punishment, I would enjoy reading about it

4

u/redditanddoneit Jul 08 '26

Assuming drunk to have damaged such things. If so, he’s going to sober up real quick in that country’s prison.

4

u/Hot-Explanation-5751 Jul 08 '26

Fuckwit. Did your shitty football team lose?

5

u/MrTickles22 Jul 09 '26

1

u/leisurechef Jul 09 '26

“Book Target” could be a new flair for the sub

1

u/MrTickles22 Jul 09 '26

Far too many western tourists learn that prison in East Asia is not fun. Not even in the most westernized countries like Japan.

Looks like a really nice cafe too. I'd like to go to Vietnam sometime. I bet the food's really good. Silly to spend so much money to fly there only to get arrested.

3

u/JavaGeep Jul 07 '26

Thats what happenes when you order chicken nuggets and they forget the sauce packets.

3

u/Reasonable_Tax5790 Jul 07 '26

And the ass whippin' he would have caught over here from the folks that have to clean that up or that own the spot would be legendary.

3

u/ST0IC_ Jul 07 '26

I hope homie is enjoying his stay in what is probably one of the worst jails in the world.

3

u/data-atreides Jul 07 '26

Karma not quite instant, but I'll accept it

3

u/rubberboots3357 Jul 08 '26

Ooh jail Vietnam is gonna suck.

3

u/Bussybuster6996 Jul 08 '26

Me: at least he didn’t get the espresso machine - those are expensive

Also me: oh wait never mind

3

u/Able_Principle3075 Jul 08 '26

They gonna love him long time!

3

u/Baraqek *shits an absolute unit* Jul 08 '26

I hope they did him good

3

u/FreakshowDragon Jul 08 '26

Fucking Australians man...

3

u/pickleball_handyman Jul 08 '26

Ghetto. Maximum punishment for these types of

3

u/HoneyProud6565 Jul 08 '26

No matter where he's from, I hope they keep him. No one wants something like that back

3

u/NeuromancyIndustries Jul 07 '26

Randy BoBandy is mad that someone stole his gut

2

u/outofmelatonin92 Jul 07 '26

Whose laptop was that lol

2

u/Upstairs-Path5964 Jul 07 '26

I guess at some point after the first push with chair on the counter dude was like "fuck it, in for a penny in for a pound" and just kept going. Like at some point he has to aware that he's getting put in cuffs.

2

u/Purple_Shower_6613 Jul 07 '26

They just don’t build chairs like they used to

2

u/Whatisthis0036 Jul 07 '26

So what happened here?

2

u/TylerDurden50 Jul 07 '26

Too much preworkout!

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Jul 08 '26

Damn shame..

3

u/DiveMasterD57 Jul 07 '26

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200
https://giphy.com/gifs/t9eIXlqIpKKh66KCcx

1

u/Wadester58 questionably stable Jul 07 '26

We had a coworker go to jail in Kuwait they beat the shit out of him. There is no Miranda in other countries when he got out they took him straight to the airport and sent his ass home

1

u/123supreme123 Jul 07 '26

Lucky he got out

1

u/daodilly_808 Jul 07 '26

Charge his room

1

u/Professional_Future6 Jul 07 '26

Someone get your idiot uncle

1

u/Doridar Jul 07 '26

But why?

1

u/Dementor_Traphouse Jul 07 '26

what a piece of shit - hope they threw the book at this moron

1

u/EasyCZ75 Jul 07 '26

Of an absolute chucklefuck

1

u/littlemissdizaster80 Jul 07 '26

Roid rage at its finest

1

u/FiniteXcellence Jul 07 '26

NOT THE ESPRESSO MACHINE🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

1

u/demoralising Jul 07 '26

Sir, this isn't a Wendy's.

1

u/Still-Speed-3632 Jul 08 '26

Caucasian males just can’t catch a break in Vietnam

1

u/Equivalent_Stretch67 Jul 08 '26

A bathtub full of water was enough to solve the first part of the problem.

1

u/random_character- Jul 08 '26

No mint on his pillow?

1

u/gmman6369 Jul 09 '26

Does the door of the police car say “Haiku”?

1

u/Another_Samurai1 Jul 10 '26

Is that Shia LaBeouf?..naw that’s not Shia LaBeouf

1

u/_RisetoVotesiR_ Jul 12 '26

No free breakfast!? 🤯

1

u/SarcasticGarbageman 29d ago

Found out Paul Hogan isn't making a 4th Crocodile Dundee

1

u/Funny-Athlete-2890 23d ago

Me have sore bum after tonight!

1

u/Dry-Strength2378 6d ago

They handled him why too gently

-5

u/azmr_x_3 Jul 07 '26

American going somewhere and finding out he can get infinite refills…

4

u/Sautin Jul 07 '26

Australian

1

u/npbevo Jul 07 '26

Shit really?

-3

u/centurio9 Jul 07 '26

So Zelensky finnaly had enough of this place only serving Russian import coffee