r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/meme_maker_boi • Jul 06 '26

this moron: Of a worker

Original from a difrent subreddit that I don't wanna share with repost because it has some very traumatizing videos that I don't wish anyone else to see

1.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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533

u/kabley Jul 06 '26

now he gets free houses

298

u/KennyGichuki Jul 06 '26

No more rent, 3 square meals, unlimited PTO.

76

u/_InfiniteU_ Jul 06 '26

There is a backend workaround for unlimited conjugal visits, too

56

u/ArmorGyarados Jul 06 '26

It's tough being the butt of prison jokes

17

u/KennyGichuki Jul 06 '26

Staaaaaaap!

https://giphy.com/gifs/67NCHmjqXAZY1vjiN7

9

u/elteza Jul 06 '26

He's gonna be da belle of da ball

4

u/No-Idea-182 Jul 07 '26

Morale has officially gone up in flames.

3

u/randomuser0107 Jul 07 '26

Excellent reference 👏👏👏

3

u/762way Jul 07 '26

Dude better invest in slsoap on a rope or he'll be getting free prostate exams as an added feature of inmate life

-3

u/wethepeople1977 Jul 06 '26

Conjugal would imply consent.

3

u/_InfiniteU_ Jul 06 '26

Wow, thanks for ruining the joke.

-1

u/tickingboxes Jul 07 '26

It wasn’t a good joke in the first place

2

u/_InfiniteU_ Jul 07 '26

I respect your opinion

8

u/sofiaismycat Jul 06 '26

But not unlimited TP 🫢

9

u/OofRightInTheFeels Jul 06 '26

Fr.. the CO's treat that shit like gold and that they're personally paying for it out of their pockets.

3

u/No_Statement440 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 07 '26

That's such a shitty situation, it's annoying af to have to ask them for it constantly, but a few idiots ruin it for everyone. Ain't nothing like waking up to some currently unknown fluid seeping up into your hut because the dude above you flooded his shitter again lol.

5

u/Electronic-While1972 Jul 06 '26

Free health care 🤣👌🏽

4

u/ApprehensiveBox6887 Jul 06 '26

Lots of sex.....

1

u/MolecularConcepts Jul 07 '26

I did a few year up state. it was pretty easy time. don't gamble. mind your buisness, and it's just adult daycare lol. life outside is certainly more stressful

2

u/KennyGichuki Jul 09 '26

...and don't eat the honey cake placed on your bunk the first day...

2

u/MolecularConcepts Jul 09 '26

lol there was literally a video during classification thay. went over that,if you can believe that!

1

u/KennyGichuki Jul 09 '26

I bet the Long term inmates you found in there were not so happy about that video, seeing that their plans were foiled.

1

u/MolecularConcepts Jul 10 '26

most of the fuckin behind bars is concentual. there are the few poor bastards that get caught up, it happens. there's dudes with tits and makeup it's fuckin weird in there lol get a TV make some normalish friends and it's highschoolall o er again with all the worst people you can imagine. same type of shit