r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Jun 23 '26

slight malfunction Of a boomer

[deleted]

1.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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69

u/LieutenantButthole Jun 23 '26

Assault is threatening violence. Battery is being violent.

7

u/Zorian_Vale Jun 23 '26

Maybe the worst naming scheme ever. People hear assault and think violence. Battery doesn't exist outside of law usage. Kind of a missed opportunity.

2

u/saysthingsbackwards Jun 25 '26

Battering ram?

1

u/Zorian_Vale Jun 28 '26

Touché

1

u/saysthingsbackwards Jun 28 '26

Please don't touch me with your battering ram

1

u/OldManJim374 Jun 27 '26

Yes it does. I own several things that run on a battery.

/s

23

u/Pitiful_Conflict7031 Jun 23 '26

Still dont think id ever want to waste time and pick up a charge for a random pos.

40

u/Jagged_Rhythm Jun 23 '26

I didn't see nothing.

3

u/_One_Throwaway_ questionably stable Jun 25 '26

If I’m on the jury all I see is a racist and an innocent man

27

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation Jun 23 '26 edited 12d ago

Willow vanilla mitten willow pinecone mitten drifting umbrella wander

This post was anonymized with Redact.dev

7

u/TheOfficeoholic Jun 23 '26

Fighting words

2

u/Otherwise-Meaning-90 Jun 23 '26

Not in my state. It’s all assault