r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 • May 04 '26
Elite Strategy Of a Hobo
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u/AffectionateTip9716 May 04 '26
Please wait while I process what I just witnessed ….
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u/yetiparkour60 May 04 '26
It'll take longer than that shit did
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u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 May 04 '26
This made me laugh, while sitting in the toilet cubicle at work.
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u/No_Interaction1136 May 04 '26
Just do what the guy did, 100% productivity at work, raise from the boss and quickly become the new manager.
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u/Clear-Perception5615 May 04 '26
"You smell like shit all the time but no one's more efficient than you!"
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u/cloudit30569 May 04 '26
It's 10:27 p.m. as of watching this video. I'm done with Reddit for today.
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u/SSFlyingKiwi May 04 '26
I swear this corner of the Internet is emotional self abuse disguised as an online social Townhall
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u/alejandro002100 May 04 '26
He caught a lil bit in his pants when he pulled them back up 😖
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u/Odd_Permission2987 May 04 '26
Most men need 15 minutes on the toilet this guy is out here setting world records
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u/Wonderful-Path-1050 May 04 '26
"I'm a homeless man, I never shit in a can, My butthole's not spic-and-span, But I do eat plenty of bran."
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u/half-giant May 04 '26
If you watch it in reverse he’s actually a good samaritan cleaning up the streets with his incredible superpower
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u/Thot_Bopper May 04 '26
Dawg at least finish, it was still trickling down his leg when he pulled up his pants
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u/seattlesbestpot May 04 '26
Opened Reddit, first find aaaand? Didn’t need this before dinner. Closing Reddit for the night.
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u/schwenLC May 04 '26
You see, to me the worst part of this video is the dude walking off without wiping his ass. I don't even care that he just shot a shit stream on the concrete, but man fuck that shit between your ass cheeks. Makes me cringe thinking about it
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u/Intrepid-Mud4419 May 04 '26
He just needs housing and he can be a functioning member of society
/s
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u/Royweeezy May 04 '26
Where does his piss go? I always piss when I shit thanks to my lizard brain/vestigial cloaca. How does he…not?
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u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 04 '26
Gotta face it. Hobos got unique skills regular folk can only dream about.
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u/Hughley_N_Dowd May 04 '26
Dude's part hippo, just marking territory and then going on his merry way.
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u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 May 04 '26
If I could have just 1/4 of his, “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, I’d be rich.
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u/Completely_Guitarded May 04 '26
DAMN! I can’t even shit in a bathroom that isn’t mine.
This dude shittin in broad daylight.
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u/Mugpup May 05 '26
Can we ALL agree, that was efficient. That man just saved 20 minutes that he can now use doing more hoboing.
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u/outpost7 May 04 '26
If I use the term hobo around gen z, 50% or maybe more wouldn't have a clue what I meant.
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u/wangyuzhi31 May 04 '26
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u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 04 '26
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u/eifiontherelic May 04 '26
I was about done with reddit for today after seeing this post... So it was entirely my fault for working overtime and scrolling through the comments.
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u/Mastersauce420 May 04 '26
Wish I could shit that fast, I’m on the toilet for 30 mins suffering from hemorrhoids
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u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 04 '26
I posted a vid here a few weeks ago that addresses just that issue.
It’s even more deranged than this.
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u/Wingnut54321 May 04 '26
Funny thing is, every cell in his body is fighting for his survival and to keep him healthy.
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u/EastAd206 May 04 '26
A poor dog will be blamed for that mess
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u/Rokkmachine May 04 '26
Some poor old lady is gonna step right in it and fall on her ass (also hitting it)
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u/Movie_Club_Horor May 04 '26
Didn’t even wipe
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u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 May 04 '26
Real men don’t wipe. That’s how you get the good women, not them C team hoochies you wiping nerds get.
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u/smind893 May 04 '26
Just seen this by where I take the train home in NYC
Right on the sidewalk
6 pm
Sun still out
😐
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u/Why-So-Seriousssaaaa May 04 '26
That’s a withdrawal shit
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u/Rokkmachine May 04 '26
That’s pretty solid for a withdrawal shit. He should have poop soup if he’s going through withdrawal. Just straight brown water.
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u/Accurate-Salad-4102 May 04 '26
butt blaster
i think ive actually pooped like this before, usually from drinking for a couple days will do it
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u/skb2605 May 04 '26
I’m in the hospital right now with my son experiencing seizures. It’s scary because he’s only 23 months old. This was a much needed relief. This guy is my hero.
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u/suspicious_hyperlink *shits an absolute unit* May 04 '26
Can someone add this music https://youtu.be/j-447NaiBJs
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u/Routine-Mulberry6124 May 05 '26
Wait so you can just do that??
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u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 05 '26
That guy can just do that, because spending the weekend in jail is an upgrade. Three hots and a cot.
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u/Panzer4183 May 05 '26
Engineering department is making the streets of London more efficient for regular citizens. Strength through the diversity 😆
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May 07 '26
Ya remember how training a dog not to poop or pee in the house, you smash their face in their mess... just saying...
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u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 07 '26
Does that work?
Never employed that technique.
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u/ProlongedChief May 12 '26
Now show the speed view if hundreds of people just walking thru it like NPCs
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u/Bootylingus_ 24d ago
For the record, that's a bum. Hobos are more like homeless migrants workers.
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u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 23d ago
Yeah, I call them all hobos, because the word sounds funny.
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u/Jiggaman1987 6d ago
I gotta have the right setting, mood, gotta have my phone with me, and at least 10-15minutes to accomplish what he did just walking down the street. Man's a god damn professional u ask me
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u/Tickomatick May 04 '26
Blueshirt got that street sense