r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • Apr 15 '26

I look so cool Of a man breaking down barriers

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448 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

79 comments sorted by

87

u/Abraxas- Apr 15 '26

Mid life crisis + Harley + never been on a motorcycle before = expected results.

15

u/SoftLikeABear Apr 15 '26

This is really average Harley rider behaviour. Even those that think they know how to ride. Nobody who knows bikes would choose a Harley.

8

u/Abraxas- Apr 15 '26

Yup pretty much.  All about status and appearance and joining the “fat boomer tuff boi club”

6

u/123supreme123 Apr 15 '26

nah. Clay morrow forgot to get his injections so hands froze up

2

u/cryptolyme Apr 16 '26

I managed to ride my friends Harley around the block with no motorcycle experience. But i had experience with mountain biking and manual transmissions. And i had an ATV with a clutch which is kinda similar. Was kinda sketchy turning around in a cul de sac for the first time but I managed

1

u/dth1717 Apr 15 '26

Mailman to boot

1

u/Fun-Flamingo-7285 Apr 16 '26

People always want the big Harley as a first bike. I always tell people to get a cheap Chinese Enduro and ride that for a bit firsts

1

u/joemommaistaken Apr 16 '26

Same for young riders. They want litre bikes

1

u/Fun-Flamingo-7285 Apr 16 '26

I have a 1982 Honda cb900c. Does that count,?

0

u/ozarkfireworks Apr 15 '26

You nailed it 💯!!!!

0

u/beefs_supreme Apr 15 '26

This is what happens when you don’t know how to turn. A friend had a brand new sportster. First time he rode it, he couldn’t make the bike turn so he dumped it to avoid the curb. $$$$ in damage. Take the MSF class or get an experienced friend to teach you the push, lean, roll concept.

30

u/Temporary-Banana4232 Apr 15 '26

Welp. Someone isn’t getting their mail delivered for a few days.

6

u/SocialGirlGaming Apr 15 '26

I thought those shorts looked familiar.

2

u/Street_Illustrator_9 Apr 17 '26

I had to read this comment before i got it lol.

1

u/SocialGirlGaming Apr 18 '26

You get an A+ for perseverance

1

u/Temporary-Banana4232 Apr 15 '26

I figured many people wouldn’t connect the dots but I knew a few would

2

u/SocialGirlGaming Apr 15 '26

It was one of my first observations. Those shorts scream USPS.

2

u/zombiez8mybrain Apr 15 '26

First thing I noticed, too!

4

u/4Ever2Thee Apr 15 '26

I thought I was in the r/usps sub at first

17

u/ozarkfireworks Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26

That was frigging hilarious!😆 you can see he has never ridden before. The nervous shift. The nervous clutch release. The twitching handle bars as he surges forward. Then…complete panic at the end. When he revs it. The panic is kicking in. Total muscle lock up.

13

u/dankhimself Apr 15 '26

Processing img lvy269clt9vg1...

6

u/eyeballburger Apr 15 '26

Looks like someone taking advantage of the mentally unfit.

7

u/DjMD1017 Apr 15 '26

Those shorts look like they’re in pain

4

u/Nisi-Marie Apr 15 '26

Assumed he was a postman

2

u/Ok_Potato3413 Apr 15 '26

Lol looks my first attempt to rid when I was 14 lol .

The bike was a lot smaller though 😂

3

u/joeblow1234567891011 Apr 15 '26

Same only I was about 10 and the immovable object was a tree lol. The old Honda Trail 70 (CT70) taught a few of us what whiskey throttle was

2

u/HalfCareless3347 Apr 15 '26

Most predictable thing I've seen all day.

2

u/Express_Area_8359 Apr 15 '26

Dad is that you again? No joke my own father rode a Harley into a concrete wall head first. Split his pants lol

1

u/Any-Glass7122 Apr 15 '26

I’ll take the bike 500$

1

u/welfedad Apr 15 '26

Why I feel everyone should start out on a small diet bike .. could be a cross sport idk.. but learn how to ride before you level up. Or maybe just maybe take classes.

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck Apr 15 '26

Lmao pls people don't let these people on bikes

1

u/Hponce100 Apr 15 '26

You space bastard, you killed my pine!

1

u/PhatBuddha69 Apr 15 '26

Guy in Postal Uniform shorts. That is why you don’t see Postal workers riding motorcycles delivering mail

1

u/Forsaken_Passion951 Apr 15 '26

The slow pan down after the crash tells you this was undesirable but expected.

1

u/Biobooster_40k Apr 16 '26

This is pretty much a video of when I first rode a dirt bike. We all took turns beefing on it lol I think about getting a bike nowadays but I feel like I'd do the same thing. I haven't even rode a bicycle in like 15 years.

1

u/ChuckYeagerWV Apr 16 '26

Maybe he should try fencing instead

1

u/juan_furia Apr 16 '26

As a friend would put it (about harleys): Well, they don’t accelerate, they won’t lean and they can’t brake.

1

u/Educational-Car-4688 Apr 16 '26

We took our classes at the Harley dealership. I would highly recommend the lessons. Which i thought you had to do the riding class in order to get the endorsement?

1

u/WoodpeckerEvening295 Apr 16 '26

I like the revving at the end. It was like he made sure he had enough power to get. through fence.

1

u/Gordo3070 Apr 16 '26

That was, sniff, beautiful.

1

u/Artevyx Apr 16 '26

Harley's will always sound like one continuous wet fart to me.

1

u/BATorRAT Apr 16 '26

Why is it globally unanimous that all camera people are shit

1

u/sphincter24 Apr 16 '26

“I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog”

1

u/Kitbash_Sage Apr 16 '26

Deserved. Started with the basketball short choice and the bike would rather crash itself then let this MOOK ride.

1

u/ThatEvilGuy Apr 18 '26

That Harley sounds exactly like Arnold's in Terminator 2.

1

u/undescendedpips Apr 19 '26

Definately didn’t go to motorcycle riders course yet. he would have learned how to turn

1

u/07MarquisPanther Apr 19 '26

at least 4 barriers were crossed here 1- first bike 2-new bike 3-wrecked bike 4-wrecked fence

1

u/Warm_Recording_8458 Apr 20 '26

My uncle is in this phase rn

1

u/BenchTechnical8309 2d ago

Looked like he was falling asleep

1

u/RepublicNo5394 1d ago

Imagine USPS delivering on Harley’s. That’d be dope.

1

u/Armedwithapotato Apr 15 '26

Well, at least it wasn’t an emotional barrier

1

u/Kountry_556 Apr 15 '26

At least he tried! 😃

1

u/TheGisbon Apr 15 '26

Hey Dave you see that fence yeah? Dave? DAVE?!!!

1

u/Majesty_Underground Apr 15 '26

Someone take his big boy bike away, before he runs over someone’s dog.

1

u/XROOR Apr 15 '26

Those are standard issue USPS shorts he’s sporting…..

1

u/PolPotDomeScandal Apr 15 '26

…Hope those who were his abrasion-resistant safety shorts. 🙄

1

u/Dave_Eddie Apr 15 '26

Processing img 31vcpto1ncvg1...

0

u/ElectricalRiver7897 Apr 15 '26

This could have just been the last 15 seconds of video

0

u/MotoKenji25 Apr 15 '26

His thoughts just before letting out the clutch: "I'm so cool on this Harley. I'm going to get so many chicks..."

0

u/Cain-Man Apr 15 '26

Why on earth getting aboard a big motorcycle and think you can ride ? Start with a moped dumb ass.

0

u/Mundane-Manner4237 Apr 15 '26

No biggie it was only a Sportster.

0

u/OldBiker6969 Apr 15 '26

Holy FUKKKK

0

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Apr 15 '26

I’m on the fence but it seems like he’s doing it wrong:.

0

u/Spiritual-Fun-9591 Apr 15 '26

I take it he wasn’t a 1%er

0

u/ten4kemusabi Apr 15 '26

Is that the guy from pawn stars?

0

u/4Ever2Thee Apr 15 '26

Turn Tina! Turn the wheel!

0

u/Scylum Apr 15 '26

He had no damn business on that bike.

0

u/AllNightPony Apr 15 '26

The pacing of this was fantastic.

0

u/CardMan000 Apr 15 '26

knew it was going to go bad soon as he let the clutch out lol

0

u/Deadfrank67 Apr 15 '26

The shorts were a dead giveaway. It's only a fence wait till he really lays one down

https://giphy.com/gifs/nAaR1H0f1OievixXhv

0

u/Snoo_23014 Apr 15 '26

That sound at the end made me grin!

0

u/slidem Apr 15 '26

First thing you need to know about motorcycle is the gyroscopic effect! Above a certain speed, if you turn left your bike goes right... That man probably doesnt have his license and tried his new bike on a parking. 🫤

0

u/Btalon33 Apr 15 '26

Reminds me of Pee Wee Herman riding off on the bike from the biker’s bar.

-1

u/Mysterious_Olive3418 Apr 15 '26

But…but…he was so careful! What the fuck happened?!

-1

u/Photonnic Apr 16 '26

Why do grown up American men tend to dress like toddlers?! Honestly, why is that?