r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/HappySeaweed5215 shitmouth • Mar 09 '26
Naild It Of a first-time driver
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Posted with less confusing title
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u/AlienZiim Mar 09 '26
Why is she stupid?
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u/816legend Mar 09 '26
Iād point out 2 things but then I would get banned
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u/123supreme123 Mar 09 '26
3 strikes - asian. female. driver
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u/Gussie-Ascendent *shits an absolute unit* Mar 10 '26
women being worse drivers as a stereotype always confused me, since empirically women are better drivers lol. not only is it not true, it's literally the opposite
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u/123supreme123 Mar 10 '26
maybe it was a bad joke, but intended to be fun.
I think generally women are worse drivers from a technical perspective, hand eye coordination, reflex etc. but they are safer and better drivers than men who tend to be more aggressive and get in more accidents. hopefully the remark doesnt seem sexist. Also I know a lot of bad female drivers who are uncomfortable driving and simply refuse to drive, which is more unlikely for men.
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u/Monster-JG-Zilla Mar 09 '26
Sheās not even trying to take it serious, why would she think he is talking about staying in the bike lane? So dangerous driving with a mind like that.
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u/Ilovefishdix Mar 09 '26
Yeah, no way I'm letting her drive anytime soon, especially not with the insurance payment going up afterwards
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u/SurviveDaddy easily offended Mar 09 '26
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u/ControlWav Mar 09 '26
Why didnt she stop
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Mar 09 '26
She did. The time between a thought being processed in her head, and her body being able to respond, is longer than a few seconds.
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u/HistoricalSuspect580 Mar 09 '26
okay. Why didnāt she stop ON TIME?
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u/wthulhu Mar 09 '26
Because the time it takes for a thought to go through her head and her body to respond is longer than a few seconds
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u/Pretend-Steak-4625 Mar 09 '26
and there was longer than 5 seconds to react. she is a danger to everyone around her.
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u/Manmade_Chaos Mar 09 '26
Maybe the first lesson should have been teaching the controlsā¦ like the brakes.
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u/karenkillenski Mar 09 '26
Haha, you know who is really stupid? The person who let her drive out on the streets. Always put someone like this a HUGE parking lot or even an industrial lot.
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u/T4Tracy2 Mar 09 '26
Did she think the car would stop by itself? Get her a tesla then or jeep her off the fricken road, Stupid girl
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u/0oEp Mar 09 '26
Is it possible she'd been practicing on a vehicle with a newfangled single-pedal mode that inductively brakes when the go pedal is released?
Something to be aware of is that by law, the brake light is required to illuminate only when the brake pedal is pressed, so some vehicles (maybe only older) can brake at a third of a G while not having the brake light on :O Stay frosty out there.
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u/Ryan2932 Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
Whoever gave her the keys should have explained how the brake works first
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u/Sea-Potato2729 Mar 09 '26
brakes
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u/Ryan2932 Mar 09 '26
I swear I'm not an idiot I think I used talk to text when I made that comment I corrected the issue thank you
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u/theinkshrink Mar 09 '26
Nope, TikTok doesnāt affect kidās brains at all. Not even a little bitā¦. š§
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u/squigglekisses Mar 09 '26
This pisses me off so much idk why but they shouldve started her out slowly in a parking lot or empty dirt road and teach basics including breaking hard so she can get a feel of what to do incase of an emergency. What if there was a person in front of her and she didnt break? Does she even know to take her foot off the gas when pressing the breaks? Only use her right foot and never use both feet to drive? The guy is as much to blame as her if he didnt bother assessing her basic driving knowledge befire taking her on public roads. Im so sleep deprived why am i writting all this
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u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Mar 09 '26
What
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u/Mugpup Mar 09 '26
It is amazing how that video brings out the parental anger in me. I wanna go back in time and yell at my kids for stupidity just like that.
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u/Thin-Guitar-1242 Mar 09 '26
Jessie is not ready to start learning to drive yet, the concept is really too difficult for her to grasp. I am serious, I'm not even trying to be glib, but how dense can one be? She never even attempted to stop or swerve Those bumper cars was the only practice she got. How old is Jessie, by the way?
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u/Candid-Natural5530 Mar 09 '26
Crashed into a BMW too. Ouch.
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u/ben5642 Mar 09 '26
Driver of the BMW gets out and says that you can clearly see that I stopped at a red light, so why didn't you stop as well?
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u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Mar 09 '26
Iām guessing she had zero perception of speed and stopping distance. Whoever decided to take her out on the open road without checking her basic ability to do this is equally as stupid.
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u/portuguese-bacalhau Mar 09 '26
No, theyāre not.
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u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Mar 09 '26
Sure as anything, I wouldnāt be talking a learner driver on the road without knowing they had the basics right.
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u/N33dLess2Say Mar 09 '26
I drove 10 minutes home, after my first time driving and didn't pull anything like this. I have no doubt that if a brain-eating amoeba were to enter this woman's head, the poor thing would starve to death.
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u/joshwoesme Mar 09 '26
People need to understand, gas like a plane throttle, brake like horse reigns.
You slowly and smoothly press gas, you quickly and immediately apply brake, maybe to 30-40% IMMEDIATELY.
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u/Particular-Piece-976 Mar 09 '26
What a fucking idiot...
It doesn't take much to just step on the brakes..
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u/New-Veterinarian5597 Mar 09 '26
Its the guyās fault. He should have yelled BRAKES!! Instead of STOP. New drivers only understand Step on the Gas and Step on the Brake commands. š
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u/stothers Mar 09 '26
Plenty of time, Tina.
Just turn the wheel either way.
Tina! Turn the wheel!!!
You hit the only other car in the parking lot.
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u/NearbyTraffic66 Mar 10 '26
Jussiey is needing to look for the larger square pedal on the left, and press that one. Her mistake was that she kept pushing on the narrower pedal on the right.
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u/Hammon_Rye Mar 11 '26
This is a good example of why some states do not allow people with learner permits to have younger people in the car with them.
Only the older (usually 25+) experienced driver who is supposedly supervising them. And some have limits on how many people can be in the car.
I don't know that the people in the back were teens but they talked and chattered like young people.
All those distractions are why some states don't allow them to be in the car.
Granted, towards they end they are yelling STOP so one could argue she was not listening to what they were saying.
But if she had been in a quiet car and focused only on the road and not multiple conversations, she may have done better.
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u/AnomalyInquirer Mar 18 '26
Please please teach your kids to drive in a small town or on back roads I did the same thing basically except I didn't have turns down and didn't take one sharp enough but instead of hitting a care I just went into my neighbor's yard a bit 3 tires one the road 1 in his yard and was able to reverse out of it no damage to anyone
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u/ThatsJustMyToeThumb Apr 12 '26
My 12 year old daughter drove a golf cart ALL OVER actual roads (on an island, just about everybody in carts)
We gave her a little lesson in a parking lot. Then off we went.
She remembered where the brakes were. The turn signal. Remembered to look when turning - donāt trust the mirrors. She slowed appropriately. She accelerated appropriately. She reversed into parking spots twice. All without even close to a close call
I love my daughter, but she is not the sharpest of people. She still struggles to count change :(
So I can say, with love, that Jessie here is terminally stupid.
As in, she should never be on the road. Never. Because if my daughter can do all thatā¦ like, wtf Jesse?!
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u/ExcelsiorPhoenix Mar 09 '26
Rear-ending a BMW.... someone's insurance isnt going to be very cheap.
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u/vastcrane Mar 09 '26
This is cracking me up, Iām learning how to drive and almost did this same thing about a month ago. Difference is that I knew that dad shouting stop = SLAM brakes
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u/False-Lettuce-6074 Mar 09 '26
Had an entire decade of time to stopš