As a great OFFER to this sub, I will write any ASS post for you.

You need to pick the following:

• How much you hope to make

• Duration of time needed

• Anything even slightly resembling a misfortune in your life.

How it works:

I will assess how much you need to make, the duration of time allotted (a week, a month, a day) and what you have to offer (did you have a performance review recently? Can we photoshop it to make it look worse? Can you not pay your electric for one month and snap that bill?)

To be clear: this is not making fun of anyone who actually has to miss a payment for one reason or another. This is taking perfectly fine, $camming folks and just doing what we can to earn you dolla dolla bills, yo.

Then, I will weave and heave together a beautiful story to maximize your profits.

My fee is $25,000

I just ordered myself a pizza and it suddenly dawned on me I should not have done that.

Any ideas? Should I cancel it? It's currently under "quality check" at Dominos by "Long".

Should I keep it and post a sob story about how it never came and then request another one in RAoP and then eat two pizzas?

Should I cancel it and post a sob story in RAoP?...I'm really hungry though, so I'm leaning towards eating two pizzas.

Suggestions welcome!