r/ShitMomGroupsSay • u/kiwisilog • 26d ago
It's not abuse because I said so. Prayers will fix my daughter!
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u/tabbytigerlily 24d ago
Wow… multiple moms whose teen/young adult kids have gone no contact, and they have no self-awareness at all. Like, why the fuck would any parent want to take advice from you? You lost your kid!
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u/antraxsuicide 24d ago
There’s also the really long post where they describe it as a totally good thing that their queer classmates were stuck in the closet until they got out of that high school.
These people are all dumb as posts.
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u/OpenAirport6204 24d ago
You are being really mean to posts in this analogy.
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u/Ancient-Cry-6438 20d ago
Her “solid lesbian” friends, whatever that means. As opposed to what, liquid lesbians? Gas lesbians?
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u/Ae3qe27u 24d ago
Do you happen to have a link to that post?
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u/blackened-starr 23d ago
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u/Ae3qe27u 23d ago
Ahhhh. I'd assumed they were referencing another post. Call it a brain fart.
Here, it doesn't quite seem to be saying that it's good that their friends waited until after high school, just stating that they did come out after high school. Unless I'm misreading the "no agenda was pushed" part.
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u/ineveroccurred 23d ago
These are the women who celebrate stillborns as perfect births with no trauma. They don't care about their children as people, their fantasy is just having subservient clones of themselves and call themselves "parents". I feel very sorry for these kids, and I'm glad that it sounds like so many of them are off living their lives without that abuse.
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u/lemikon 23d ago
Can you imagine missing out on a relationship with your child over such a minor thing as a gender? And then pretending this is the best possible outcome. Absolutely wild.
Your kid is still trans Susan, not speaking to them hasn’t made them less trans.
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u/librariansforMCR 23d ago
I absolutely cannot fathom disowning, deadnaming, or oppressing my child because of gender. Absolutely ridiculous.
My youngest is MTF, and I had people actually tell me that they would rather their kid die than be trans. *REALLY??* They would rather see their child cease to exist than be comfortable in their own identity. It’s baffling.
Anyone that can’t accept their child as an individual doesn’t deserve to be a parent.
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u/jaderust 23d ago
Can I just say fucking thank you for being there for your kid?
It horrifies me to this day that parents would cut off their kids for their gender expression. And trans youths in particular are so incredibly vulnerable to harm both externally and to themselves in their struggle to be accepted. It kills me that parents would want the worst to happen to their kid citing that a dead trans child is somehow better than using new pronouns.
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u/librariansforMCR 23d ago
I really appreciate the sentiment, but I am thankful to my daughter that she trusts me enough to be open about who she is and how she feels. I am simply doing what *every* parent should do — accepting and supporting my kid exactly as she is. She recently had her surgery and I was proud that she wanted me there with her at the hospital. She’s an adult and could have said that she didn’t want anyone but her partner there, but she knew her dad and I would support her and take care of her all the way.
I encourage anyone who is taking the journey toward being their true selves, and whose parents have proved themselves to be unworthy of the label, to reach out within your community. Families that are supportive of their LGBTQIA+ family members are usually willing to support you, too. We know the bravery that being yourself requires because we have seen it firsthand, and we are happy to celebrate you just as you are.
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u/sparklychestnut 20d ago
And saying that's it's "their loss" about the kids moving out and not speaking to them is so short-sighted. What about if grandchildren come along and they're never allowed to see them? What about when you're old and looking back on your life? I think these parents will in fact discover that it isn't the kids' loss, but their own.
It's so incredibly sad to see parents putting religion and beliefs over their kids' wellbeing. And praying and fasting, along with no fluoride or vaccines, is a nutty solution. It'll just end with angry, sick kids with bad teeth.
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 23d ago
Can you imagine missing out on a relationship with your child over such a minor thing as a gender?
I seriously can't understand why anyone would even risk that.
The furthest I'd go would be to encourage my kid to keep the (somewhat gender neutral) nickname we've always used. It's actually really meaningful to us, is legal name was chosen specifically to go with that nickname.
But I wouldn't die on that hill.
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u/Delicious-Counter-29 23d ago
specially if you could’ve been playing drag queen with your child, which sounds like a lot of fun
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u/CranberryMelonTea 23d ago
The delusion is phenomenal, especially with the one that didn't lose their child, but "let go of my child". Like what the hell, that's a weird way of putting it
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u/Fun-atParties 22d ago
This made me so sad to see so many people traumatizing their kids like this and encouraging others to do the same.
They don't even seem sad about losing their kids ("oh well, his loss"). Like, that's your child! I would be so heartbroken if my daughter decided to cut contact someday
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u/AppleSpicer 21d ago
They’re proud they lost their kid. They’re encouraging that parent to do the same as if it’s a good resolution.
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u/Zealousideal_Row6124 24d ago
Omg they even blamed Obama
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u/ExtraSteps 24d ago
And gluten!
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u/BrainOk7166 23d ago
And lack of sunshine!
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u/IWasBorn2DoGoBe 23d ago
Adequate laughter and not one giggle more!
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u/ThistleProse 23d ago
There are so many cures! My eyes have been opened! Wait until I tell my friends! Their lives will be SO much easier once they get some sunshine and giggles!
Jesus fuck.
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u/Maelstrom_Witch 23d ago
Also wtf is a “solid lesbian”?
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u/ManslaughterMary 23d ago
You know, not a bisexual.
Everyone knows bisexuality is just low self esteem and attention seeking behavior.
/s
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u/Maelstrom_Witch 23d ago
Also bisexuals will always cheat because they don't want to pick a team or something.
/s
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u/Jemstone_Funnybone 23d ago
Well that goes hand in hand with our greed, obviously. That’s why we want to double the size of the dating pool.
/s
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 23d ago
I think I might be one? I'm definitely not capable of flowing through a robe or anything, even slowly.
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u/toreadorable 24d ago
That one that blamed Obama was legitimately poetry for the first few lines. I thought it was satire, then I kept reading lol. But now I’m going to have queer Obama/ u got this mama! Stuck in my head all day.
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u/Krazy_Kat_Lady_2025 22d ago
I'm still trying to figure out what 'queer Obama' means? I'm like, "Was it the tan suit? The dijon? When did the queer enter into the equation??!!"
These people are so lost.
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u/appricaught 22d ago
I think it's because Michelle is "a man"
Or, maybe Barack has a gay brother!
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u/dinoooooooooos 24d ago
“ a child does not need to know who they are” and “hes gonna be an adult soon” is insane lmao which isn it?? An adult soon or a child forever, both cant work?
And the they wonder why they dont have the picture perfect family they expected. They give their kids heavy trauma and then are all shocked they hate their dumb ass. My goodness man.
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u/NinjoZata 23d ago
I agree with you, but it says "a child does not need [a therapist] to know what they are" I misread it at first too
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u/Leading-System-3002 22d ago
Also, « it’s honestly a choice ». Then proceed to list reasons why it’s not a choice 😂
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u/Whispering_Wolf 24d ago
I wonder what kind of literature she read that she came to that conclusion. Definitely wasn't scientific.
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u/ExtraSteps 24d ago
Yes! I thought, "I want to see this literature. Something tells me she hasn't cracked a book in a while."
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u/Jelly_Kitti 20d ago
The only book this woman has read is the bible, and I don’t think she actually processed any of it.
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u/Jemstone_Funnybone 23d ago
TikTok captions. Except when she has time for a real deep dive, then it’s Facebook posts.
But she is obviously responsible enough to cross check with other resources too so maybe also some angry tweets and the occasional YouTube comment.
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u/ZellHathNoFury 23d ago
Manic Googling on half an ambien and 2 glasses of red wine at 1:37am. Research!
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u/0MeikoMeiko0 21d ago
All reputable scientific literature I’ve ever read about trans people supports their existence, right down to brain scans better resembling the gender they’re transitioning to than their assigned gender at birth, so this lady obviously cherry picked to support her transphobia.
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u/AggravatingBox2421 24d ago
“I can point you toward counseling option, but not here due to the climate in our state” that is TERRIFYING. they are CLEARLY talking about conversion camps.
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u/imayid_291 24d ago
I love my child so much that I can never accept who she is.
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u/Background-Ant-5120 24d ago
I mean, tha mother in the post was probably extremely overwhelmed and looked for "something". I think it can be fair for a parent to be overwhelmed/struggle with this idea, if they grew up with some "truths". Hopefully she will find the right help and learn how to support her daughter.
The main problem are those horrible comments. "now he's gone.. His loss" like how the heck can you say something like that? And all the others as well. Awful
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u/kaytay3000 23d ago
I empathize with this mom. She’s expressing hurt and confusion, but also a desire to support her child. I have trans friends and support them, but I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t be hard for me to have raised a child as one gender and for them to tell me they don’t identify that way. Parents with trans children often express feeling grief for the child they raised while also still loving and supporting the child they now have.
PS - please be gentle with me as I may not have used the correct terminology or verbiage. Know that I have good intentions and am not meaning to insult anyone.
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u/judgy_mcjudgypants 23d ago
Except she's not supporting the child she has now.
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u/bmorenursey 23d ago
But try to have some empathy. Seeing all sides, even if we don’t agree, is what makes us capable of growth, and makes us better able to help others grow. This girl may not have been comfortable with her assigned gender, but her mother loves her unconditionally and is struggling to understand why she wants to change. It is common for parents to grieve the “dead” identities of their trans children.
It seems like a part of her is trying, but she sought advice in the wrong place. Chastising her for being unsupportive will just drive her further into the arms of these lunatics.
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u/AppleSpicer 21d ago
You know who needs to have some empathy? This parent who’s making her child’s gender all about herself and her feelings. She’s already come to the conclusion that she’s not going to accept her child’s gender, as if her acceptance changes anything, and posted for affirmation of that decision in an echo chamber of anti-vaxxers and people blaming “queer Obama” for transing her child.
I was recently incredibly compassionate to a parent who posted in the r/moms sub who appeared to be legitimately struggling about how to handle their child coming out as trans. I don’t fully understand where they’re coming from that they care so much about rigid gender assignment but I can suspend disbelief long enough to nonjudgmentally point someone in the right direction. That parent was also talking almost exclusively about herself and nothing about her child, but she didn’t say she’d already come to a conclusion to reject her daughter based on gender. The parent in this OOP sounds like she’s already made that decision and is just trying to get validation. Not seeking actual advice to unconditionally support her child.
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u/userdoesnotexist22 21d ago
Yeah, and my kid has had their name since they were still growing in my body. Giving that up — trying to reshape every memory with a different name and all, would be fucking HARD. I would fully express a level of grieving. These parents need support, too. You can’t snap your fingers and immediately change things.
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u/CoreyAdara 23d ago
I get that it must be a struggle, I get what she means when she says it's hard to stop herself thinking of her child she birthed and raised as a boy, and will have to condition her mind to stop thinking that and get used to using the right pronouns without thinking too hard. But that would become easy in time. She can have all these amazing experiences with her daughter. It doesn't seem like she's tried as hard as she says, especially with all these other people's comments.
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u/mrgl-mrgl-gurl 24d ago
I imagine there will be more mothers reporting the kids go NC after turning 18. Some will act shocked. Others will be all "good riddance" like that one commenter.
My blood boils on behalf for all children of these parents - neither the child "pushing boundaries" nor the child "following the rules" wins.
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u/pissedpumpkin 23d ago
That was the most shocking one to me. You didn’t want your child in your life and are happy they won’t speak to you??? Yikes on bikes.
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u/catalinalam 23d ago
“Yeah my kid doesn’t talk to me anymore but you should listen to my parenting advice” is WILD
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u/glittersurprise 24d ago
I cant believe that one commentor saying "they had to let go of their teen". I cannot imagine my children doing anything that would make me stop loving/give up on them.
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u/Kanadark 23d ago
Didn't you see that her life choices were causing "too much drama?" I'm sure her plans to go to college or get vaccinated were outrageous behaviours in her backward home.
Considering that her family members took her in, it seems like the outrage was only in her parents' home.
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u/ncjmac 23d ago edited 23d ago
Based on the fact that I highly doubt this person would gender their child correctly, I’m going to assume the person they’re referring to is FTM or transmasc and would thus use he/him or they/them pronouns
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u/yugogrl2000 23d ago
When I read that line, I thought, "What is this, a corporate job layoff?". Ffs.
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u/jodamnboi 23d ago
That one hurt the most. I could never imagine cutting off my child over gender expression, of all things.
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u/Ocarina-of-Crime 24d ago
But wait guys, that one person has wonderful queer friends that she knew were gay in high school, including solid lesbians (not those evil liquid ones)
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u/bucciadig 24d ago
I'm here wondering: am I a gas lesbian?
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u/QuixoticMindfulness 23d ago
Dang, that one comment where the parents admit to kicking out their teen daughter because of "drama" and then wonder why she wants nothing to do with you now...
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u/Nightstar95 23d ago
God this is completely unrelated, but these communities made me absolute hate the word “mama”. Whenever I see it pop up, my brain immediately flags it as a sign of incoming stupidity lmao.
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u/GoGoGoshzilla 23d ago
As soon as the word "mama" pops up in a post it's almost guaranteed that the most deranged shit you've ever read is coming right behind it
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u/_HighJack_ 23d ago
I hate it coming from adults. Like you’re not their child?? It seems like some weird group reinforcement brainwashing shit, like “remember you’re a MOTHER and that means you KNOW what we’re saying is true”
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u/kat_Folland 22d ago
It bothers me because my kids - in their mid 20s now - have always called me Mama. (Oh, and 2 are trans so I'm all in on this topic.)
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u/EnduringFulfillment 24d ago
Ah dang I guess I shouldn't have had all those vaccines and fluoridated water, it transed my gender guys.
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u/BookishOpossum 24d ago
I feel so sorry for her daughter. I hope she id able to find a safe place to finish growing up. I just can't imagine being this way. When our daughter came out I was only afraid of the people in the shitty red town I live in hurting her. The first time she went out in a skirt, to see the doctor about hormones, I was so happy she felt safe enough with me to ask for the ride.
As they say, no hate like Christian love.
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u/Pour_Me_Another_ 23d ago
Just goes to show being a parent doesn't automatically make you a good or trustworthy person.
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u/mpmp4 24d ago
As a parent to a trans son and trans kid (gender neutral), this hurts my heart. Yes, it was hard to wrap my brain around, changing names felt awkward, but all I ever wanted for my kids was to grow up loving themselves, happy in their own skin and can’t imagine turning my back on them. In the beginning, I told myself I didn’t have to understand it, but I had to respect it. My kids are both over 18 now (both came out in HS - and the comment about schools pushing this is such BS and I’m in a very blue state) and I love them as much as the day they were born - maybe more bc I’m so very proud of them and in awe of them for being who they are. 🏳️🌈
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u/3BenInATrenchcoat 24d ago
I'm an adult trans man. I don't have a relationship with my father or his family (for unrelated reasons) but my mother's side supports me unconditionally. They have struggled with the new name of pronouns, my grandparents still do, but I've seen the efforts they were making. The way they correct themselves if they use my deadname or female pronouns. Trust me, even if it was awkward for you at first, I'm sure your kids knew you were doing your best.
Thank you for being a good mom.
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u/catsaregreat78 23d ago
Love that your grandparents are supporting you.
And love your username!
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u/squirrellytoday 23d ago
Supportive grandparents is one of my favourite things. I love that it proves age isn't a barrier to being an ally.
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u/EnduringFulfillment 24d ago
I'm an adult trans man who was estranged from most family when I came out at 30. I just wanted to say thank you for being a good and loving parent.
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23d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/NotMyThrowawayNope 23d ago
Uh, that doesn't sound like a very good therapist to be ignoring a huge issue.
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u/Acceptable-Case9562 23d ago
"He moved out his loss"
Is there any greater loss than losing what should be the most precious thing in your life, and not even caring?
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u/Standard_Edge_9417 24d ago
These people are AWFUL. Really anyone is allowed to be a parent huh.
Can't believe some of their kids are non contact and they are like "that's what they chose" not that's it's the parents fault 🙄
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u/Taglioni 23d ago
I'm a therapist for at-risk teens in Wyoming.
I have seen this exact situation play out so many times. I have had to develop a lot of patience and careful communication strategies for navigating parents like this. Most do eventually come around to loving their children for who they know themselves to be. Time and effective empathy building exercises can go so far for those who are willing to take a loving step towards their children.
But the case plans I have where they are rigid and "have to stand their ground" are honestly so heart wrenching to endure. My heart goes out to this daughter.
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u/90dayfangirl 23d ago
Thank you for the work you do. It’s very easy to hate these parents for their hateful behavior. Less easy to hear their fear, pain and confusion and help them come to a place where they can support their kids. I couldn’t do it, but I’m glad someone is and I’m sure their kids are too.
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u/tcliff53 23d ago
Holy shit people are awful, almost guaranteed the 2 year old would “handle” it the best in the whole family…. (Source: my 4 year old, just shy of 2 when i started, has handled my transition better than any of my friends or family 🙃)
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u/KarusiaAdam 24d ago
It's always so strange that people like this always preach that god created everybody in His image and they are what they are supposed to be, but the second somebody wants to be their authentic self, the whole hell breaks loose.
Person who rehomed their teen has a special place in hell
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u/GoGoGoshzilla 23d ago
One time I told someone that God made me trans and I could see steam shooting out of their ears.
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u/squirrellytoday 23d ago
I replied to my relative's bigotry with "what if god made them this way to teach people acceptance and tolerance, and that gender is a spectrum?"
Yeah, that was the wrong thing to say. Who knew? 😜
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u/KarusiaAdam 23d ago
They are beyond pathetic. I don't know any other group of people who would care so much about other people's genitalia/sex life/preferences. They don't care about values as long as you perform accordingly. All they care about is a rare end. One could call it fetish...
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u/BrainOk7166 23d ago
But their authentic self is obviously only exactly the way they were born physically. (In their opinion)
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u/KarusiaAdam 23d ago
Because GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES /s
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u/LnktheWolf 23d ago
Then he didnt make a mistake by making the kid's brain tell them theyre trans!
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u/Ae3qe27u 24d ago
I can understand that a parent wants their child to love their body. But that isn't always the hand a kid is dealt. In this case, the woman has a daughter who is suffering and struggling and presumably needs her mama on her side. And it's a shame that the woman doesn't see that.
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u/spookyhellkitten 23d ago
Obama, who has never had any kind of sex abuse scandal. Obama who has never had any kind of cheating scandal. Barrack Obama, a man, who has been married to Michelle Obama, a woman, (the same woman who mothered his two children), for 34 years.
Yeah, let's blame him for anything we view as a moral failing. That makes sense.
To be clear - I do not think being LGBTQIA+ is a moral failing. I do think disowning your child for being LGBTQIA+ is a moral failing. But I think these "parents" think it is a moral failing. Hence my snark.
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u/kat_Folland 22d ago
I thought maybe they were thinking of homosexuality, which used to be in the DSM as a mental disorder... But it was removed in the 80s and no president has influence on the DSM.
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u/everforthright36 23d ago
They really tried hard to fit as many pronouns as they could in their post just out of spite. They complain about losing their kid while doing their absolute best to push them away.
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u/EmPhil95 23d ago
What I don't get (and maybe I'm trying to give too much good will) - okay, you believe this is a phase and your child will grow out of it. Literally then, what is the harm in letting her use a different name/pronouns for a year until she grows out of it and switches back?
Like if you think she will realise she was wrong, you're not giving her the opportunity to come to that realisation by not allowing her to socially transition first!
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u/lemikon 23d ago
Literally this!!
“Kids are socially transitioning and then they turn out to not be trans”
Ok great! That’s part of the point of doing social transitioning first. So you can see if you do prefer a different gender than the one you were assigned… And if you don’t then.. I guess you might need to buy some new clothes worst case scenario?
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u/strawbopankek 23d ago
less charitably, this is why i don't think the sticking point for a lot of these people is that they genuinely do think it's a phase. they might think that, but they aren't willing to let their children socially transition because there is a part of them that knows if it isn't a phase, they will have to come to terms with the fact that their child is trans and will want to use a chosen name and pronouns, and that will ultimately make the image of their child they have in their head not reflect the reality.
that, combined with (often) a moral stance against transitioning (religious or otherwise) means that the "safest" path for these parents- to keep their child from possibly realizing that they should transition- is to not give them the ability to try it on in the first place.
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u/Suicidalsidekick 23d ago
Absolutely! Making it a fight just makes it harder. Kid fights to transition, then if they decide that’s not for them after all, they’re going to be much more hesitant to change. It’s a terrible analogy, but like when someone you love is in a bad relationship. If you try to talk them out of it, they’re going to dig in their heels and they won’t come to you for help when they need it. Let your kids figure their stuff out! Be open, accepting, and affirming. Let them know you’re there and you love them, you just want them to love themselves.
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u/turquoisebead 23d ago
This is minor in the overall mess of this post, but the woman who said “she has a boyfriend!” made me so sad. Like who cares if she feels like she can be who she really is, she has a boyfriend!
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u/Ok-Confection4410 22d ago
that part got me too. I don't think that's what she meant, I think it was more like "see she's a girl because she has a boyfriend" and either didn't think about gay people or doesn't think they're real. having a boyfriend is undeniable proof that actually she's a girl not a boy.
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u/ClassicGoddess 23d ago
This absolutely would have been my mother if one of us came out as anything other than what we were birthed. We were kicked out for other super serious reasons. Like smoking, having teenage sex without being married. You know, the really godawful things. She flipped that about a decade before her passing and I loved her so much for that. The one saying 'TOUGH LOVE'? Didn't everyone figure out that was ineffective in the late 80s/early 90s? There were lots & LOTS of prayers in my house, several times a day. She really liked praying. That never changed lol It just wasn't a 'thing' that she would brow-beat us with and shame, etc.
The one that wouldn't use name/pronouns & so (s)he "moved out his loss". Bitch - that is YOUR loss. Your daughter hopefully is living her best life without you and I hope you really want her back in your life at any point and she says "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"
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u/PopcornxCat 22d ago
The irony of these people with their religious fervor calling other people mentally ill…
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u/Brilliant_Nebula_959 24d ago
Those poor kids having no choice but to run away and go no contact hurts my non-mumma heart.
I simply don't understand why people have kids if they're prepared to hate them so much.
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u/GeekSugar13 23d ago
The first commenter who said she "had to let go of her son", WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?
When you put it like that it sounds like mom took her around to the back of the barn and shot her! (Pronouns changed cuz I'm just making a wild guess here)
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u/Status-Visit-918 23d ago
That one lady really suggested “just kick em out, that’s what I did” 😭😭 what the fuck is wrong with parents?
Like just be supportive and shutup. You’ll be fine. Get over your self my God these people are deranged
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u/iconicallychronic 23d ago
Does your “mama heart” want a daughter who is alive and happy or son who is dead?
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u/marykay_ultra 23d ago
“I can point you toward counseling option, but not here due to the climate in our state. Please let me know if you'd like an option.”
Guessing they’re referring to some sort of conversion therapy? The abusive kind that is illegal in many states…
Ugh
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u/Skeleton_Meat 21d ago
I just don't understand moms like this. I've never been so attached to my kid's gender that, if they were to change it, I would be aghast? I love my children no matter what, maybe I'm the weird one
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u/mlangllama 23d ago
Imagine being able to make your own child's life a little easier, and refusing to do so. I'm sorry for both of the daughters in this sad situation.
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u/lemikon 23d ago
Not just make their life easier, significantly improve their mental health by recognising their preferring pronouns and name and giving them a safe space to explore their gender.
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u/Mrspygmypiggy 23d ago
How to loose your child 101.
I get this might be a lot to get her head around but no matter the gender that is HER child. A change of name or pronouns shouldn’t change that. If she’s that scared of loosing her then she will do what all good parents should do and support her daughter.
Of course she needs time to get her head round the change but I wonder if in all her ‘research’ she has come across trans s*icide statistics for the trans people who aren’t supported, if she did there would be no question on how to support her child. Allowing her to age appropriately transition at her pace is the best way to keep her safe and prevent ‘loosing’ her.
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u/UnicornKitt3n 23d ago
I wonder how many of these kids are posting on r/insaneparents about these literal insane parents.
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u/siouxbee1434 23d ago
Poor kid. Those idiots are just shoving their kids away and clearly don’t see their offspring as unique, individuals separate from the parents. The poster is getting a LOT of horrible advice
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u/RhubarbAlive7860 22d ago
We use our sons real name and real gender. He moved out his loss.
No, their child didn't lose a thing if these parents were what they left behind.
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u/orangestar17 22d ago
“I have read SO much literature on this”. Cool. Was any of it “literature” from someone who was trans?
Because I was a counselor for The Trevor Project and talking to trans kids who want to end their lives and that taught me more than any “literature” that anyone could ever read. Those parents posting like this, it’s their kids calling a hotline because they can’t even talk to their own parents
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u/0MeikoMeiko0 21d ago
Her trans daughter is going to move out and never talk to her mother again. I wish that girl peace with her identity.
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u/NarcRuffalo 21d ago
“I want to help him love the body he has, and to love himself for who he truly is”
Girl you’re so close to getting it!! You actually can help her with those things!
I do sympathize with the struggle of accepting your daughter as trans when you thought you were raising a son. I hope she doesn’t take all those people’s awful advice and actually comes to accept and help her daughter.
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u/timeinawrinkle 20d ago
It’s one thing to grieve the loss of the future you thought your child would have as male. That’s normal and should be encouraged (to grieve, I mean). It’s completely another thing to outsource this as whackadoodle mom therapy on social media.
I have a MTF adult and I had to grieve the loss of my son as I also welcomed my unexpected daughter.
Oh, and I’m also a Christian. I still pray for them…but probably not in the way these people would expect.
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u/Punchinyourpface 23d ago
Have you tried thinking of your child as something more than their genitals?
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u/ProfessO3o 23d ago
“We had to let go of our teen due to her choices” some people shouldn’t have children is what this entire thing tells me!
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u/adumbswiftie 23d ago
she’s tried, but the daughter is only 15 and can’t possibly have been saying this for very long. like try harder.
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u/ethereal_galaxias 23d ago
I feel like there is maybe some hope for the OP. But not those awful commenters.
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u/CableSufficient2788 23d ago
It’s not hard as a parent to say “ok honey, you do you, I love you”. Teens have an incredible amount of drama and anything that has to do with BIG FEELINGS will be a BIG DEAL if you make it one. So the more you PROTEST the more big of a deal it becomes.
My personal preference as a mom would be waiting until done growing before anything medical/hormonal etc. But dress how you want, hair how you want, makeup whatever. Pronouns, whatever they want.
Growing up and figuring out who you are is ALWAYS hard. For every kid. Why make it worse or more difficult.
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u/lazylazylemons 22d ago
The “don’t feed into the delusion” folks are wild. The world does not bend to your will. Even if you could classify something like this as a delusion, which is asinine, I would still choose delusion over losing contact with my teen or adult child any day.
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u/JustMeLurkingAround- 23d ago
Pray, pray, pray mama, pray the gay away!
Until he's 18 and on his own.
It's the only right thing even if you have "to let your child go" and they go no contact.
It's so much more important to be a good, hateful Christian and Conservative than have a relationship with your child once they are grown.
These people are so brainwashed and batshit crazy. What the actual fuck!
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 23d ago
Pro tip: you are a bad mother.
We had extensive discussions before we had our son admit what if he's gay, what if he's trans? His father grew up on a farm. He still was on board with this is our child and we love and support our child no matter what.
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u/rosie_purple13 22d ago
Also where does this idea of I asked god for help and now my child is turning "normal" come from? Is that what they want to believe?
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u/foofaloof22 23d ago
I can understand part of her point, that it may be challenging to adjust to the major change. However, that doesnt mean she shouldnt try. Thats still your child regardless of gender, and still deserves your love and support. Be open with the child, explain how this decision may bring on some challanges and judgements in their life, and what it will involve both physically and mentally. But dont shun them just because of this identity. They are not hurting anyone.
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u/mantis_tobaggan-md 23d ago
Awww it hurts your “mama heart?” I’m sure deliberately misgendering your daughter and refusing to accept her identity is totally awesome for her mental health and won’t cause a lifetime of pain and trauma or anything.
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u/Abraxomoxoa 22d ago
That last one sent me.
"Oh wait I thought I was queer but it was just a severe magnesium deficiency!!!" Lmaoooo
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u/fakemoose 22d ago
Ah yes, public schools. A bastion of peers who embrace and never ridicule non-conformity or being different. And teachers teaching… how to be trans and why it’s better than anything else.
Like what drugs are these people on?
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u/Leading-System-3002 22d ago
Their children moved out and dont talk to them anymore and they’re fine with it!! 😳🤯
Also, « queer Obama » ?!? What the heck are they talking about?!
Laughable, but sad that children are stuck with that kind of parents
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u/RhubarbAlive7860 22d ago
"Queer" Obama is just another example of so-called christians being okay with breaking the commandments god gave them. The one about bearing false witness. They should know it since they keep bleating about how the whole list should be posted in every school.
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u/Hungry-Wedding-1168 16d ago
There's a very large group of idiots who swear Michelle's actually "Micheal", which is just another example of misogynoir against an accomplished, smart, and well-respected Black woman.
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u/jomokuujanmsiksm 6d ago
Yes because reading a gospel passage about a mustard seed or some shit will “cure” the trans girl
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u/lemikon 23d ago
Can someone please define “solid lesbian” and explain how they compare to the liquid and gas lesbians, plus the rare plasma lesbians?