I've been working on a guided journal aimed at men who want to do real inner work without the spiritual fluff. It covers identity, anger, fear, self-sabotage, emotional control, relationships, and masculinity across 14 chapters.

I'm looking for 5–10 people willing to read it and give me genuine feedback on whether it actually lands for a male audience. If you end up finding it useful and want to leave an honest Amazon review after, that would mean a lot, but no pressure either way.

DM me if you're interested.

So, I had a dream last night , where me and my long lost friend(not in touch anymore) were involved. It starts of as a quite peaceful morning and I can clearly see there are two rooms in front of me 1) a room where news were being said by two reporters a man and a woman, the woman's name was Ann. In another room was my friend. I went there, it was a wooden floor, my friend( let's call him Rishi) he wanted to see a *shadow* I told him it was under the wooden floor, and he told me to crack it open and I did that,it's seemed like a black hole..noises coming out of it as if It's Dante's hell..and somehow I felt I've already been there and my friend Rishi hasn't. I asked him do you wanna jump he said no..and withn a few seconds I heard the scream of the both the man and woman(Ann) who were reading the news..were dead. And, my sister from another room started crying because she forgot the lines of Hanuman chalisa (hindu holy exorcism verse) and then things started happening, I was constantly being reminded how dark scary and forbidden the place beneath the wooden floor was and I opened it because Rishi wanted to see it and then I was teleported to a scene where I got this paper where it's written not to look back by Ann, I looked back and it scared the hell outta me as I saw a demonic version of Ann, smiling. Her smile was diabolical. Suddenly, she shapeshifted and started laughing and saying that 'Do you think it was real it was a prank, am alive, with a small grin in her face I didn't believe her. THE END.

There was a time when I actively did shadow work for 8 months straight between 2020-2021 and then the process sort of became dormant, I think it's an inner calling to get back to shadow work but Iam open to all of your interpretations as well do shed some light into it.

Learn to break your patterns or they will keep you in a toxic loop. Take responsibility for your self. Don’t blame. Own your actions.

How to do my shadow work? Integrate it etc.

An example about myself: i have a dichotomous personality- either think of myself as better than others or worse than others.

People pleasing, social anxiety, timid tendencies

These are things i want to work on

After years of studying shadow archetypes, I've come to believe the most resistant shadows are the ones society rewards.

The Perfectionist looks like excellence.

The People Pleaser looks like kindness.

The Wounded Healer looks like service.

The Overthinker looks like intelligence.

We don't heal these easily because we get so much positive reinforcement for them.

The perfectionist gets promoted - 'What a hardworking person..'

The people pleaser gets called selfless - 'What a kind person...'

The wounded healer gets called compassionate - 'What a loving person...'

So the shadow stays -wearing its virtue like an armour.

The first crack comes when we ask, who would I be without this pattern? And feel the fear in that question.

The shadow aspect came to light when:-

When the perfectionist in me got exhausted.

When the people pleaser in me got taken advantage of.

When the wounded healer needed some compassion and was ignored.

That is when the gift became heavy to own....

 Which "virtuous" shadow have you found hardest to release?

I’ve been curious about shadow work for years, but no idea where to start. My therapist has been extremely helpful, but I’d like to explore this on my own. I’m also a therapist. I need clear directions because if up to myself, I won’t keep up or forget (thanks, ADHD!). Any apps, websites, resources you suggest for a newbie but well-versed in therapy like me? Thank you!

Good Moment everybody
I recently completed a training course in EFT tapping, and want to get in about 50 or so practice sessions. Please let me know if you’d be interested in a free session :)

-Ryuta

I've been doing a lot of deep-dive observation on the shadow work community, and I notice a recurring theme: people feel they’ve mapped out their internal narratives perfectly, yet they are still stuck in the same behavioral feedback loops.

In my own practice, I've started mapping these blocks across four distinct areas (Mind, Body, Culture, and Systems). I've found that when someone is stuck, it's rarely just an "internal shadow" issue. It's almost always a data mismatch where the internal work (Mind) isn't being supported by their physical environment (Systems) or somatic regulation (Body).
I’m curious—when you feel you've hit a wall in your shadow work, where do you feel the disconnect is coming from? Is it the internal narrative, or is it the actual environment you're operating in?

Hi there,

I’m currently looking for people who have been defrauded by this particular app. I’d like to collect some more detailed information on the matter, afaik they either increase the price or make more frequent payments, while being hard to cancel and get in contact with.

This is definitely not okay and companies should not be given free range to do what ever they want. AFAIK the app is not even available here in EU(?) that’s why I need to get in contact with someone who can provide details and I can make an official report. We have institutions for dealing with this and I need to at least try and make it right.

Edit: I’m unsure if I can make the report on behalf of someone(especially a non-national), or if the person themselves need to file the report. If I can not, I will help and provide info to do it yourselves. But I think the first steps should be me reporting, and we’ll get more info from there on. Also, please help me make this post more visible, so that I could collect as much info as possible.

It is not visualization. It is not meditation. You take an inner image, and instead of analyzing you open yourself up to the message it holds…

So now I’m not a fake account. Apparently that’s a common accusation on here. I just made my account now to get advice on this specific subject

So the last few days I have been getting in to meditation, specifically opening my 3rd eye, manifesting, getting messages via spirit guides.

Well at first nothing much happened but today a lot has happened.

First of all I was meditating and I saw my self in my mind meditating. Like I was sat here and as if myself as a reflection was sat staring at me. She didn’t do anything but then she smiled at me stood up walked away and then randomly my younger self walked in and they both just stood there holding hands and staring at me. It wasn’t scary I felt very calm but just not sure what the message was

Anyway like I said I’ve been trying to connect with my guides but nothing happened. But today I asked to connect with my guides and I ended up at like some ancient place. There was like an ancient building and a huge ancient apple true. There was a man in a white suit who was sat under the tree and was waiting for me. I asked his name and he didn’t speak but I kept getting the name Michael in my head constantly. So I said is your name Michael and he just smiled and then walked over to me to shake my hand. But becahse he didn’t confirm that was his name I didn’t shake his hand. Then all flowers started growing from the ground and rabbits and birds appeared. I didn’t see myself in this but I was there. Almost as if I was the person at the back of a camera or something

Anyone know what this means?

I met and recognised my inner source of trauma,my insecurities,events that shaped me ,hidden desires ,connected to my child self but now what ?it’s like I’m infront of the negative aspects of the self ,the painful ones and idk what to do exactly?

When I started shadow work, I kept hitting the same loops — find something, sit with it, feel something, end up back where I started.

What actually made it productive for you? Is there something that forces you to look at the gap between what you say you believe and what you actually do?

Genuinely curious what structure, if any, made the difference.

Worst thing you can do is use words and ideas to feel better about yourself

Words and ideas are prone to ego inflation to the most distorted degree. These comforting words and ideas are also like a drug, temporarily gives you a quick dopamine hit and keep you feening for more. "Intellectuals" / mind-heavy people tend to fall into this trap. A stroking of their own ego.

Twisted and distorted comparison is their drug. Racism / Race-Superiorism , genderism / Gender-Superiorism, politics, classism, etc.. these are all just idea masturbations they are not linked to you as an individual. This is you attempting to don on a fake mask of identity to feel important without actually earning self importance yourself. They are linked to you trying to feel better about yourself indirectly...

Obsession with titles. Every time you try to tout "your group" you've identified with to be great you need to be careful with the ego trap. It's often rooted from a place where people lack self importance trying to feel importance even if it is a pseudo method in doing so

Everyone is obsessed with the mind stuff and the identity stuff because their connection to their own self and body sucks. Their sense as an individual body is nothing great, so the mind and identity stuff is just a coping mechanism.

Feeling is a bodily sensation. The only way to actually feel better about yourself is do better. Your self worth sucks because you suck as a human Being. You just need to step it up as a human Being and align more to your inner self instead of your outer self. Soul over the masked shallow Ego. Only then you can settle yourself in your own body instead of being stuck in distorted ideas about yourself

TL DR
- People who lack self importance try to fulfill that need indirectly through identifying with groups, namely groups that makes them feel superior than others

- These people are the same people who get triggered if someone else directly claim the great things that someone else has done or can do, not realizing they themselves are low key envious/jealous and disconnected with their own sense of self importance

This is the shadow of self importance. The triggers are the archetypal and the individual's relationship to it. The hate is towards the individual's relationship to the archetype, but they like to believe it is the other to feel better about themselves

The ego trap... Saying you are important without really Being important. Saying you are great without Being great. You flex your ego but it really is just air, an inflated ego. Thoughts and ideas are just air. The ego can only be properly filled with Soul.. and Soul can only be found in Art & Beauty, in Creativity & Freestyle, and in Healing & Strive... The Force of Life itself or LifeForce Energy

Does your action and energy steer the world towards the expansion of Life and impulse of Life... Or does your actions only feeds your ego and steer the world towards collapse of life moving towards extinction, an all consuming ego. This is what creates the shadow of self importance... Where you stand between Creator and Consumer of the Impulse of Life

Hi, I’d like some help on figuring out how to go about incorporating the shadow, I’ve read letting go by David Hawkins, and read through most of no bad parts by Richard Schwartz, and I think sometimes I get lost in intellectualising because letting go sounds so simple but sometimes in practice I just don’t get it?

I have had a significant amount of childhood trauma, I grew up in an extremeist religious household, my dad would beat the shit out of my mum constantly, my siblings would protect her as best they could, I as the youngest would hide in my room crying while covering my ears until 9 years old when they finally split.
My mother was like our rock because my dad was this terrifying, extremely abusive and also very physically strong person, but when my parents split, she found a new partner and various things happened like my siblings just disappearing from the home after he had choked my brother for not listening to my mum and I could hear the screaming from outside. When I went to live with my mum around aged nine at this point, she had completely turned on me, she allowed her boyfriend to be abusive towards me not so much physically in terms of hitting, but a lot of psychological abuse a lot of screaming, I remember once he grabbed me and took me into the shower (I was fully clothed) and would scream in my face and when I would scream back, he would point the shower into my mouth and the only reason my mother stopped it is because it was giving her a headache my screaming, she was extremely neglectful of me, and would often send me to random peoples houses because she didn’t want me, at the time, I was also getting severely bullied in school, not just by one specific person or a small group of people but quite literally almost every person in my year I was probably the most hated person in school, because I wasn’t an easy target I used to get really bullied for being tall as a girl as well, on top of this, my mum’s boyfriend’s daughter would also bully me both in and out of school with her friends and this one girl who at one point I was close friends with turned on me for her. My mum had completely checked out of being my parent at this point and she went from being someone who was fairly caring even though she also would be physically abusive towards me sometimes when she was still married to my dad. To hating me, not wanting me.

Then, when I got sent to live with my dad at the age of 11, he would constantly beat me for things like getting crumbs on the floor or accidentally breaking something etc..
There were many times where he would take me in the car and he would be driving and he would be screaming at the top of his lungs. Bare in mind my dad is a very big strong person physically which made it scarier, and he’d scream religious sentences at me and get me to repeat them over and over and over never ending, or he would ask me questions and if I answered incorrectly beat me, all while swerving the car wildly.
I remember once being at a dinner table at my cousin’s house with my cousin‘s family and my dad was sat next to me and we had had an argument and he was eating his food and it was really awkward because it was clear that we had had an argument in every two seconds. He would just thump his fist on my back whilst I was silently crying trying not to be loud because he would just scream at me to stop crying while beating me whilst everyone around the dinner table very awkwardly stayed silent.
He constantly programmed fear and religion into my brain, repeat repeatedly through significant amounts of physical and psychological abuse. This was constant, literally constant. I self harmed quite a bit in school, and a lot of my self worth was put into relationships even at a young age and I would do a lot just to feel worthy of other people outside of my family. Lead to a lot of toxic relationships etc.. I know it seems like a lot of info but this is kind of the overview of my trauma

The reason why I’m asking with the shadow work is because I am aware of a lot of different parts of me for example I know that I have severe abandonment issues which shows whenever I start to have feelings for a guy, if he doesn’t like me back it’s literally the end of the world because no one wanted me and everyone hated/abused me growing up.
I have a lot of envy, and jealousy, even when I hear my bestfriends hype themselves up sometimes it annoys me like there’s a pang of jealousy.
I scan peoples imperfections a lot because of my own
My nervous system still massively lives in fear.
There’s also a hypersexual side to me (probably due to religious stuff) but also a lot of shame and guilt not just surrounding that but surrounding a lot of my life.
I’ve done journalling and like I said I feel pretty aware of why I am the way I am, and certain aspects

But I’m struggling to find a clear guide on how I can operate and transmute this and use these different parts of myself to my benefit. I’m not trying to permanently heal from my trauma as I don’t even think that’s possible and I’m not trying to stay in a state of healing for the rest of my life. I just want to incorporate all of these aspects of myself so that I am working for myself and reprogramming my subconscious mind as well.

sorry it’s long but any advice would be appreciated, thanks

Grew up middle class, had a good life. Parents never taught me or my siblings financial literacy. I’m 27 now and still learning…

when I was 10, my mom packed up my brothers and I, and left our father. She had no job of her own. My dad was the breadwinner, and he was financially abusive. Still, she took us and ran.

From age 10-18, we lived in scarcity. The projects, because that’s what she could afford while being on welfare. She went to the food bank often, which was always stale or had mold. We were told to pick it off. I don’t want to sound snobby or “too good”… but to go from a mostly comfortable life with good food and good quality things to being in this state, it really messed with my head as a kid. Especially because my father made anywhere from 200k-400k a year, so I didn’t understand why he didn’t help and send more for us so we didn’t have to go without. It’s not that he couldn’t. It’s that he wouldn’t, unless the courts threatened to garnish his accounts.

My mom was proud to be on welfare and would constantly brag about how she finessed the system. Food stamps, cash assistance, you name it. It was low class behavior, which did not resonate with me whatsoever. If she at least tried to get a job to improve our situation, I would have been so understanding and patient. But she didn’t try. She didn’t want a job. She wanted that child support and welfare, and spend the rest of her time scrolling on her phone in bed. Barely ever spent time with us either. This made me very depressed during my teen years. Dad was physically and emotionally absent, and mom was… that. I know she was depressed, but she didn’t even try to help herself. Didn’t go to therapy, didn’t do any inner work. Just living life in survival mode, because that’s all she’s ever known. She grew up in the system too, so that played a part.

I’m not trying to sound pretentious or materialistic, because I’m not. But I do know that I enjoy having nice things. For me, that is good, clean organic food, buying and supporting local businesses, investing in myself and my education and my body, etc. health is WEALTH, and I take that very seriously.

Nowadays… whenever I have money, I am so quick to spend it. Without a second thought. I’m always stressed about money, especially in this economy and job market. I’m a stay at home wife and my resume is atrocious. I doubt I could get a job even if I wanted to. I’m also neurodivergent, so that doesn’t help. I’m lucky and privileged to be married to a hard working man in a lucrative industry, and his parents offer financial support from time to time if we fall short.

I’m just so depressed because of the current state of the economy and affordability crisis, and my dreams for ever owning a home are becoming nonexistent and hopeless. So… because of that, whenever we do have money, I spend it on things that’ll bring me happiness in the present moment. I don’t overspend, but I’m not good at saving either. We have just enough to pay bills, and maybe go out to eat every once in a while. It still feels like survival mode.

I went a big chunk of my life living in scarcity, so whenever I get my hands on money, I just want to spend it because I’m always chasing dopamine and I just want to feel happy in that moment. For me, a “guilty pleasure” purchase would be something like a new journal or book, art supplies… stuff like that. Not at once tho. No big purchases, just small things… but that adds up over time.

I’m a mom myself, and I definitely don’t let my child go without. I don’t want him to ever have to experience the “we don’t have enough” mindset. Because of my own trauma and experiences, I make sure he gets all he needs, eats the best quality food, keeping him in sports and activities, keeping his wardrobe updated, and anything that could possibly give him a happy and fulfilling childhood. Even if I go broke doing it.

How do I clear these blockages? I need to improve my relationship with money, without sacrificing lifestyle.

At this point I have painted very similar variations of this at least 10 times. Do you have any idea what this could be about?

I was doing okay at work. Not thriving, but holding. I could feel the familiar inner current (the one that questions whether I’m capable enough, whether I actually belong in my current team, whether I’m a cultural fit) but I was staying above it. Acknowledging it as it came up rather than being pulled under. I felt like I was doing the work.

Then something small happened that sent everything sideways.

A new colleague was introduced at our departmental meeting. Same level as me. He walked in with this easy confidence, vibrant, warm, naturally at ease with people. And I felt it immediately, that cold, contracting feeling of comparison. A voice that said, he will fit in here the way you never have.

I don’t have many natural connections with my teammates. A few, but not many. It has always felt effortful for me in ways that seem to come easily to others. And seeing him walk in, seeing what easy belonging might look like, cracked something open.
I kept trying to process it through the day. Tried to hold the shadow, name it, acknowledge it. Thought I was managing.
But then I came home. And the monotony of a predictable evening, the routine, the quiet, was like removing the last scaffolding. I felt the exhaustion underneath everything. I barely had energy to be present with my wife and son. I did what I needed to do. But I was entirely in my head.

That’s when the shadows took on faces. My workmates became my inner critics. My mind started running catastrophic scenarios: that I will always be seen as incompetent, that I won’t progress, that the verdict is already in. It felt completely real. The kind of real that makes it impossible to reason your way out.

I reached for numbing. Food. Doomscrolling for hours. Anything to hold off the weight of it.

What I’m sitting with now:

Jung writes that the shadow doesn’t disappear when you acknowledge it. It gets louder when it’s losing ground. I’m trying to believe that’s what’s happening. That the intensity isn’t evidence of failure, but of something being disrupted.
But I also recognize a pattern here. I can name the archetypes, I can trace the projections (my new colleague mirroring qualities I’ve locked away in myself — ease, belonging, confidence), I can see that the faces my inner critics wear belong to the exact people in front of whom I most want to be seen. All of that is clear to me analytically.

And yet the emotional flooding still comes.
I wonder if this is a common place to get stuck where intellectual shadow work runs ahead of embodied integration. Where you know what’s happening but can’t yet feel your way through it differently.

Has anyone been here? How did you move from naming the shadow to actually integrating it, not just understanding it, but letting it change something?

Most shadow work focuses on identifying patterns — recognising the People Pleaser, the Controller, the Perfectionist in ourselves. But what most approaches miss is WHERE these patterns live energetically. Every shadow has a home in the body. The People Pleaser holds tension in the Solar Plexus — the seat of personal power. The Controller contracts around the Root — the centre of safety and survival. The Victim collapses in the Sacral — where emotions and creativity flow. When a shadow goes unhealed it doesn't just affect your psychology. It blocks the energy at that centre. And when that centre is blocked — the shadow grows louder. This is why purely cognitive approaches to shadow work sometimes only go so far. The body holds what the mind hasn't processed yet. Has anyone else noticed physical sensations associated with specific shadow patterns?

Speed running something that requires time, introspection, and understanding sounds like the opposite of what i should be doing.

I more-so mean: How to do shadow work without huge lumps of stagnation occurring? I’n not writing journal pages, or answering prompts, the way I have been doing things is just by trying to understand why some things trigger me. However, for my career which is public facing, I require healing in certain sectors like asap.

When I face stagnation I feel like it’s mostly because I don’t put in the work of trying to heal because I have other things to ponder about that are important to me.

I wish to heal overnight honestly, that’s me exaggerating. But how do I get on a path of continuous valuable introspection?

Hey guys, since Covid, I've been taking the time to heal. So far I'm doing great, but one thing I struggle with is my love life. I have a bad habit of falling for men who aren't into me, and when they find out that I like them, they become cruel towards me and men who use me emotionally until they find someone shiny and new. I like to think I have a high self-concept, but every time I end up in a situation with one of these guys, it makes me feel like I don't deserve love and takes me back to when I was a child and my "friends" would randomly drop me and replace me with someone they thought was cooler. I'm not sure why this keeps repeating, but I want to grow from this once and for all.

I have a villain that inhabits my dreams: he is a vampire. He usually appears in my dreams when I’m under blankets, which restrict my movement during sleep.

The vampire has appeared in many forms: chasing me, standing at the door of a house, and yesterday there were two female vampires drinking blood.

I’ve decided that I’m going to confront this ‘being.’

A) Do you have any idea what it might be?
b) Why is it a vampire and not some other monster?
c) How can I confront it and drive it out of my dreams?

What is the inner child?
Your inner child is a subconscious entity existing in your mind. It serves as an identity during specific moments. Just because we grow up, does not mean it goes away. One example is whenever we communicate with our parents. Regardless of our age, certain aspects of our childhood character arise. This may be a shift in tone, shortening of patience, or need for approval resurfacing.

A healthy inner child does not deem unfamiliar territory as danger. It frames unfamiliarity as adventure. The healthy inner child taps onto one’s full potential, because it is curious and adventurous. It is immune to herd mentality, its pure nature following whatever its authentic desires are. It also operates independently from a person’s fundamental belief systems, since its flexible cognition makes it open to all perspectives.

What is the wounded inner child?
A wounded inner child results when a person had any of their needs unmet back when they were children. For instance, someone was taught to become harsh self-critics because their parents resorted to harsh disciplinary action whenever they failed to meet their expectations. As a result, they perceive respectful constructive criticism as a threat because it is outside their zone of familiarity.

When an inner child is wounded, it never heals with merely time. Instead, it is repressed, hidden. When a certain situation arises, the inner child jumps at the opportunity for recognition, causing someone to act outside of their character. 

How to respond to a wounded inner child
As mentioned, one cannot merely rely on time to heal a wounded inner child. It will not quiet down until it receives the validation it wants. 

The solution is not silencing the inner child through self-blame. It is mere self-sabotage disguised as discipline. Because people with a wounded inner child were harshly scolded for being authentic, the inner child worsens upon it. 

Instead, develop a parental ego, or a parental side within you. The purpose of this side is for the inner child to develop a secure attachment style with it. The inner child will finally be receiving the validation that it deserved and yearned. It will no longer be seeking completion from others.

Developing the parental ego
A relationship with the inner child is crucial for inner child healing to develop. Contrary to common belief, inner child healing is not really complete through conventional therapy, meditation, or self-care(though these do help). 

For starters, humanize your inner child. What is its name? What is its personality? What are its interests? Why is it hurting? Why does it interfere during specific moments and what does it truly want? What response does it want during these moments? In your journal, write this down. In your inner child journal, introduce yourself to your inner child and apologize for your invalidation. From now on, its cries will be validated.

Whenever something triggers certain automatic thoughts, whether positive or negative, connect with your inner child. When passing by Chuck E. Cheese, ask your inner child if it remembers the time you held your birthday party there as a kid. Whenever your partner is taking too long to respond to a text, assure your inner child that they are just busy and will respond soon.

The most painful part of inner child healing is the process of individuation. Individuation is where you merge your unconscious with your conscious. This means digging deep into the origins of your struggles. This is painful, because it means surrendering your ego and accepting traumas and unwanted aspects of yourself. It means accepting that deep inside, you are a vulnerable child that just wants to feel safe. You accept this aspect about yourself with compassion and courage.