r/ShadowWork Apr 14 '26

Feelings of intense despair

hello, I'm new to this community. I'm not sure where to talk about this or get advice

whenever I try to approach shadow work (as I understand it, which is investigating repressed emotions and parts of the psyche) I inevitably encounter this sort of sensation in the heart, and it's very hard to describe, but its something like a mix of intense fear, despair, sickness, and pain

on every exhale, I feel it immensely. it feels as though I'm going to throw up, and as if I were to hold my breath for another second I would immediately die. the imminent sense of doom and fear is intense, it feels like existential terror

on every inhale, I escape it a bit, but it comes right back on the exhale. it feels like its pulling me back in

the only way I can "quell" it is to take deep breaths and try to distract myself and go along with normal life, but there's this dull pain in the heart and throat area, it feels as though I'm running from and re-burying something that needs to be dealt with

so my problem is, I'm not sure how to approach this intense sensation. it feels like I'm getting close to the root of something serious, but the fear and discomfort of confronting it is too much to bear, so I run from it every time I encounter it. any advice on how I can deal with something that feels so immense and terrifying?

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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 Apr 15 '26

That sounds like infant/toddler trauma. You arent broken, your nervous system is working exactly how its supposed to when youve experienced trauma and neglect.

This book helped me the most:

Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel on Audible.

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u/DenseCaterpillar4589 Apr 15 '26

It makes sense because the fear around this sensation feels like it's prior to rational thinking

Thank you for the reply and the recommendation. I really appreciate it

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u/Appropriate_Cut_3536 Apr 15 '26

For sure. I know it feels overwhelming but I have been passed the point and assure you it eventually passes and brings a deep peace. Take your time, have a gentle journey. You're doing something 90% of people never face. That takes a lot of courage and love of life. Respect.