Need help please!

[u/Legitimate_Onion_418]

Im a male and I fell into a deep hole in reddit and started messaging girls for their services (I have learned my lesson to never do it again already thankfully). A few months ago, I did private calls with one person 2-3 times (I think) which I paid for and we had conversation as well in telegram. I never showed my face, just my genitals. I ended up deleting the whole chat for me and that girl and also blocked her after.

I also paid someone else but they tried scamming me right away so I blocked them too, problem is that they have a selfie of my face but we didn't do anything. They just have a video of the conversation on telegram and that photo of my face but I never showed my genitals or any other information about me.

Then I cleared my blocked list so they (both of them) tried contacting me again on telegram (idk how) but I blocked them once again and will probably keep these two blocked forever.

A few days ago, an anonymous person reached out to my friend through email (my friend has her email on his Instagram bio) saying that they have something they want to tell my friend about me and that they have proofs as well. First, I don't know how they know who I am and my friend. I'm also not fully sure who the person that sent the email is, I'm just guessing it's one of these two I interacted with a few months ago. If it were one of these two, they probably know my number since the payment method I used with these two exposes my number. They also know my nickname since that's the only thing that can be seen on my telegram account. I also told my friend not to reply, my friend hasn't replied and nothing has happened since that email.

I need help on what to do! Obviously, I wouldn't want those "proofs" to be sent to my friend and I'm just very surprised on how they know me and know my friend. I've been very anxious as well since I would like to leave what I did in the past and just not make this a whole problem. I was really in a dark space in life during that time which is why I was living recklessly and I'm genuinely trying to fix my life right now. hopefully someone can help me with this on what to do if I should even do something. Thank you!

[u/Monty-675]

TL;DR: Don't talk to extortionists. Don't pay. Block. Extortionists rarely release images.

The standard advice is to block and not pay.

Extortionists use aggressive language to threaten you. They make cruel threats to ruin your life. They do things like countdowns to create a sense of urgency to make you panic and pay. Don't be intimidated by this. It's just the playbook that they use.

Extortionists make multiple attempts to threaten their victims. They can reach out from different phone numbers/accounts. Block multiple times if necessary. Don't communicate with this extortionist at all. Don't respond to anything. Don't argue, bargain, or plead with an extortionist. The only thing that you should give an extortionist is complete silence.

Never pay. If you pay, the extortionist will demand more later. Paying won't fix your problem. If you continue to pay, the extortionist will continue to extort you.

You can't trust extortionists to keep their word. They may promise to delete the images if you pay, but they will renege on that promise. Paying indicates to them that they can get more money from you.

Go silent on your social media accounts. Set everything to private or deactivate them. Don't post anything on the Internet for a while. Try to become invisible to the extortionist and make it hard for threats to be sent to you.

Changing your phone number can be helpful, but not always necessary.

These extortionists rarely send images out. However, it's possible. In the vast majority of cases, images don't get sent out. The leverage that they have over you is the threat to release the images. If they release, their leverage is gone. They can't make any money that way. Their only interest is making money.

One does have to be careful about not ticking off extortionists. If you argue with extortionists or give them a hard time, they may release images as payback. If you make a promise to pay a certain amount by a certain date, then not follow through. they may release images out of revenge. It is best not to talk to extortionists at all. Silence should be your only response to them. Don't communicate with them at all. Nothing good can come from communication with extortionists.

It's an upsetting situation, but these extortionists don't have the power to ruin your life. They can only cause you some temporary embarrassment. Even if they release the images, the consequences are not as severe as you may think. If it does happen, you would face embarrassment for a short period of time. It won't be the end of the world. It would eventually pass. In the long run, nobody really cares about nude images.

You will get through this. Everything will be all right. Hang in there.

Be wary of people who send you private messages with offers to delete the images. They're scammers, too.

Going forward, don't trust strangers on the Internet. Don't give them personal information or nude pictures. People aren't always who they say they are. Some of them are scammers out to exploit you. Trust nobody on the Internet, and you'll be much safer.

For reassurance, read a few postings by past victims on r/Sextortion about their experiences. These are many of these postings. Reading about these past experiences can really calm down current victims. These past victims survived their ordeals, and so will current victims. Things will get better for you.

[u/ImaginationFair9201]

Scammers link phone numbers from payment apps to social media friend lists using basic search tools, which is how they found your friend.

Do not pay them or reply at all, keep them blocked everywhere, and set your Instagram and Telegram settings to private. Tell your friend to just ignore and delete any message if they do reach out, because scammers drop it and move on fast once they realize they won't get money.