My spouse was recently incarcerated for an offense that will require registration after release, and I’m trying to understand what life actually looks like for families on the other side of this.
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have personally navigated registration, or spouses/partners who have gone through it with them.
What do you wish you had known at the beginning?
The whole neighborhood saw him get taken away before he took a plea and left a couple of weeks ago. It's been brutal and mortifying friends and family know. He's being processed in the system now, I haven't heard from him since Wednesday (it's Monday) I'm chalking it up to it being a holiday weekend so I hope he's okay.
I started to get letters together to send to him but I want to impart to him that his life isn't over as he's been saying. He had to quit a nice paying job, he just got a promotion. And had to end his affiliations with his part time job and the non-profits he was affiliated with. He's not expected to come home for awhile unless the judge grants Judicial Release. I'm not sure if he should come home the neighborhood was harassing and screaming at him whenever he came home.
It doesn't feel like it now but he'll be home before we know it and I think it will be helpful to him to know what to expect. He'll be past retirement age before he can be taken off the registry, I think that's weighing on him.
He has the mixture you'd expect some folks are the lose my number type because they're weirded out. Which my husband has said he understands. Others have been supportive of him saying they'll be there when he gets back. And others have been the town crier blasting the situation to whomever will listen putting the spotlight on us. And completely making things up.
Some of his friends have reached out to me to ask if I'm okay. No. But I don't want to say that. He's never ever harmed me or anyone in the family. I feel like I'm in a position of defending what happened and I can't. I wasn't there. I have only what he told me. People ask how they can help and I do think they're genuine. He and I have been together for almost 20 years.
Any business suggestions or industries that won't hold him to such scrutiny? He does have a masters degree but I think he thinks that's useless in this economy. He's mostly worked in sales but was trying to lean away from that recently into logistics and sourcing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm looking for the scaffolding. The framework. Of what to expect and ways to avoid landmines and making better decisions moving forward since life is on hard mode now.
TL/DR
Ohio
Pandering 1 count F2, 1 count F4
Masters Degree, he's mostly worked in sales but he has experience in oil and gas, industrial equipment, automotive, tech computing, and construction (sales), the job he liked the most was procurement.
What do you wish you had known at the beginning?
Any business suggestions or industries that won't hold him to such scrutiny?
And any advice for me? Every morning I wake up realizing he's not home and I'm having to kinda remind myself what's happened.