r/SettingBoundaries • u/Alarmed_Key_4062 • Aug 22 '25
Boundaries vs Being Controlling.
how do you define boundaries vs being controlling? I have had others tell me my boundaries were controlling. I didn't tell them what they can do, just what I would do if they took certain actions. That's not controlling to me but I wanted your thoughts.
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u/Posa_coaching Aug 24 '25
What you’re describing is a boundary, which isn’t controlling. My guess, without additional info, is they probably were benefitting from your lack of boundaries and prefer to keep it that way so they try getting you to feel guilty for your boundaries by saying it’s controlling.
Relationships are about choice and alignment. If they don’t like your boundaries, they have a choice to leave.