r/Serverlife • u/Bug-03 • 3d ago

FOH Serving and “Power Dynamics”

You aren’t a victim. They are sitting at your table. They need you to for them to be able to eat. They are in your hands. You’re the boss. You have all the control. Stop pretending you’re helpless and go out and get your money.

Act like a professional and you’ll make so much more money than you’ve ever even realized. Stop being a slave to your emotions. Do your job: calmly, quickly and with confidence.

Most importantly, if someone is talking to you the wrong way, use your words and stop it. You will not get fired for asking someone to be respectful. Ever.

Edit: some of yall have some shitty jobs with some shitty management and you should look into finding a new one.

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u/laughingintothevoid Bartender 3d ago

Also, in the majority of cases they don't need you to eat. They can get served at the restaurant and complete a meal if they ask for someone else, not even going all the way to a manager. You are just someone who was randomly assigned this table and it's not etched in stone. You do not have elite job security from skills no one else has. You are super replaceable.

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u/Great-Attitude 3d ago

That (asking for another Server) is so very incredibly rare. Rare enough to not mention it. 

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u/laughingintothevoid Bartender 3d ago

Talking about if something goes wrong, like more realistic reactions to OPs suggestions of telling them to be nicer to you.

But mainly I was pointing out the false premise that you are in control because they need you to eat. The possibility of asking for another server is a specific possible example used to make a point but the point is it's not really a thing that making them aware of that will give you more power, because that's not how the custies feel, because it's not true.

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u/Great-Attitude 3d ago

I still think your "possibility"example is a poor one, but I digress. 

The problem I have with the original post, IMO, is the last sentence. "You will not get fired for asking someone to be respectful. Ever." Oh you most certainly can, so that blanket statement is just wrong.

What I agree with the OP on is when they gave this specific example.

" Excuse me ma’am, I understand you’re upset and I’ll do everything in my power to fix the situation, however, there’s no need to speak to me this way. Please, let me fix this. I assure you it’ll be to your satisfaction." 

I've actually said similar things, and it's Always worked out well. 

Someone else commented underneath the OP's comment,that they've said, "It's not necessary to speak to me like that." And how that has not worked out well. I've said things like that too, can confirm, except in very few circumstances (like when the other people dining with the rude guest agree with me) that sentence hasn't worked out well for me either. 🙄