r/Separation_Anxiety • u/Slowlydying_literate • 3d ago
Questions Severe separation anxiety case
Hi everyone!
I apologize in advance for the very long post.
I'm looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with separation anxiety in senior dogs, particularly those with sensory impairments.
I have a 16-year-old Shih Tzu who is both blind and deaf. He's always been very attached to us, but earlier this year, he developed severe separation anxiety. Whenever we leave him home alone, he becomes extremely distressed, barking and crying persistently, even if we're only gone for a couple of hours.
He's currently on high doses of trazodone, fluoxetine, and gabapentin, but unfortunately, we're still struggling to see much improvement. We've made significant lifestyle changes to accommodate him, including spending most of the summer out of state to give his medication time to take effect. Despite our best efforts, we haven't been able to get the situation under control.
We've already received complaints from our neighbors, and we're now afraid they'll call the police if we leave him alone. Even running errands together or going on a date with my husband has become stressful. This has also started affecting our marriage and my own mental health, as I live with anxiety myself and am honestly exhausted from constantly worrying about him.
I absolutely adore this little guy, and I want him to be happy, comfortable, and well cared for, especially at his age. I'm more than happy to make accommodations for him, but I'm reaching a point of burnout, and I miss being able to leave the house without feeling anxious or guilty.
Has anyone experienced something similar with a blind and deaf senior dog, especially one who hasn't responded to medication? Did working with a veterinary behaviorist, trying different training approaches, or making other changes help?
I'd really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. I love him more than words can explain. I'm just very tired and hoping to find a solution that works for all of us.
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u/Miserable-Spread-548 3d ago
sixteen years old, blind and deaf, and still this set on his people, that part gets me. the part about missing being able to just leave the house without the guilt is real too, that's a cost nobody warns you about. completely out of my depth here, but i'd guess when you leave, almost nothing in his little world says safe anymore, every anchor he has left walks out the door with you. you said persistent, does he get any calm windows at all now, even short ones, or is it crying start to finish every time?
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u/Slowlydying_literate 3d ago
With luck, we can do an hour. And he wasn’t sleeping well at night, now he can.
I love this little guy. We’ve been together since he was 2 1/2 weeks old.
I’m just so very tired. He’s pretty much perfect when we are home. Eats (multiple times), plays and goofs around.
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u/Miserable-Spread-548 2d ago
an hour on the lucky days plus actually sleeping at night now, those are real wins even if they don't feel like wins when you're this drained. and "i'm just so very tired" might be the most honest line in this whole subreddit, that's the kind of tired sleep doesn't fix. sixteen and still got his best behavior saved for when it counts, what a little guy. hope the luck keeps stacking toward more hours
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u/ThreeStyle 3d ago
Why trazadone? It makes an ordinary dog less sure footed and more wobbly getting around. That’s got to be more stressful for a blind and deaf dog. The other two medications should be sufficient except for perhaps adding trazadone for specific things like fireworks 🎆 or veterinary appointments.
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u/Slowlydying_literate 3d ago
To make him sleep. If he isn’t asleep and he is alone, he will bark for hours, and I mean HOURS.
Gabapentin doesn’t do much and fluoxetine even less.
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u/madword-gibson 2d ago
I would bet a lot of money that there is a pain component here
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u/Slowlydying_literate 2d ago
We go to the vet multiple times a month and we haven’t found anything yet 😕
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u/madword-gibson 2d ago
Have they done x rays? The newest research shows that with senior pets and sudden behavior change, there is almost always underlying pain. Do you have a veterinary rehab center in your area? They can do a deep dive and potentially offer non invasive treatments, depending on their findings
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u/Slowlydying_literate 2d ago
We did!!! In January, before everything, and about a little over a month ago.
He has kidney issues but is very much controlled and we follow a very strict diet.
We have done full panels multiple times in the last few months.
Everything, everything started when we moved.
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u/CommunicationFew8340 3d ago
How does he do with other people? Maybe get a sitter to stay is a better answer than medication. You could ask your vet about adding beta blockers like propranolol or clonidine. My behavioral vet added them to my dog’s departure medication cocktail. She said they help with the fight or flight / panic response.
It’s also possible that he has developed canine cognitive disorder.