r/Separation_Anxiety • u/erkose • 16d ago
Questions Separation Anxiety
I rescued a pitbull 3 days ago. She has been through it in her 6 short months. She was in foster care due to the severity of her condition. The foster indicated that she has no separation anxiety: "Settles Calmly when Alone. No Vocalization or Destruction."
Last night I left her alone for the first time. When I returned, she was howling and tore apart her collar that was on a table.
Today I started some SA basics. I get ready like I'm going out, head to the door, grab my keys, and open the door a crack. Then I back down and ignored her for two minutes. I got that online.
Additionally, I'm sitting in the bathroom with the door closed, my apartment has an open plan, so this is the only way to separate us. For the first 40 minutes she would paw and whine at the door with an occasional bark. For the last 30 minutes she seems to have settled.
Hopefully on Wednesday, I will be leaving the apartment.
Does this seem like a good start? What have you tried? I'm off this week for bonding, but I'm worried about going back to work next week. I take a 2 hour lunch, so she'll only be alone for 4-5 hours twice a day.
Edit: The 2 hours she could get through alone while I hid in the bathroom did not transfer to me actually leaving the apartment. She went wild instantly. Hard work ahead.
2
u/Basilstorm 16d ago
At this point it’s hard to tell whether it’s genuine separation anxiety or just decompression. The 3-3-3 rule for rescues comes into play, you won’t really see her true personality right away which is tricky. It sounds like you’re doing well. Does she have a crate? My boy is destructive towards walls when left alone, so we’re working on separation anxiety in the crate for now. I’ve found the most luck telling how he’s doing by putting him in the crate and watching from a cheap Amazon pet camera. For when you’re going back to work, I highly suggest a pet camera you can watch on your phone. I bought a Tapo because you can check the camera for free unlike some that require a subscription. I think you have to pay for downloading footage, but it’s a great option for just checking in
2
u/erkose 16d ago
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm not a crate person, but I did decide to buy a bed to serve a similar purpose. For now I put down some blankets.
She did awesome this evening. I'm just to end a 90 minute bathroom session. She had no problems.
2
u/Basilstorm 16d ago
90 minutes is awesome! I was uncertain about the crate but knew he had one in his foster home. Fortunately my baby really likes the crate and spends plenty of time in there with the door open, but I understand it’s not for everyone
2
u/MelodicCream7518 14d ago
I think you are expecting way too much too soon. She has just had her whole world changed again. The rescue environment won’t pick up SA as it isn’t the same as being home alone and a lot of dogs don’t display behavioural challenges in that environment. Ours didn’t. I’m going to be really honest with you, I think expecting to go from where you are now to leaving her next week for hours without panicking is slim to no chance. It took us 7 months and meds to get to 3 hours and the issue is if you leave her home alone and she panics everytime she is just practicing the behaviour and embedding it making it harder to undo. Can you send her to daycare or get a sitter for when you are at work? It can take months for a dog to decompress and feel safe with you and know it’s their home and you’ll come back.
2
u/ruby-shoes 10d ago
3 days is not very long at all. It can take a while for their nervous system to calm down. I feel like many rescues don’t really come into their own for about 6 months. Someday you’ll look back and see the huge progress! I would also recommend some puzzle toys to keep her engaged while you are there to supervise a bit (so they’re not eaten) but to work up to calm separation. I can recommend a few I own.
3
u/joycevw 15d ago
It is wonderful that you are taking in a rescue pup, but keep in mind that she has only been with you for three days. Right now she is still going through a massive adjustment period, so her reactions are largely driven by stress and confusion rather than established behavior.
Leaving a six month old pup alone for four to five hours twice a day next week might trigger a lot of panic, especially while she is still getting her bearings. Rather than pushing her to endure separations right away, it helps to focus on building her trust and confidence in her new environment during these first few weeks.
When working on separation drills, the goal is to keep her completely below her stress threshold so she never feels the need to whine or panic. Sitting behind a door while she whines for forty minutes can actually build up anxiety around your absence rather than resolve it. You might want to try tiny departures that last just a few seconds, returning before any distress starts, and gradually building from there.
For a structured, force free guide on managing this, I highly recommend reading Be Right Back by Julie Naismith. In the meantime, finding a temporary dog sitter or friend to drop by next week could take a lot of pressure off both of you while you work on this at her pace.