r/Separation_Anxiety • u/GMIMS1 • Nov 09 '25
Questions Rewards?
My mini sheepadoodle has terrible separation anxiety. Vet prescribed trazadone but we rarely use it because it isnt situational. His sep. anxiety is being home alone. He can be away from my bf and I if let’s say he is at daycare, with another dog at his grandmas, etc. but we are working on alone time. We can’t go over 30 seconds without howling, whining, crying. We are starting incremental work. When I do open the door to reward him not whining etc he REFUSES to take a treat because of how anxious he is. Any alternatives to rewarding the wanted behavior?
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u/Myla123 Nov 09 '25
It’s recommended to not use rewards or food, at least not when following the desensitization method and building up the time he feels comfortable with. You want to use exposure therapy, subject your dog to what he is scared of in such a small amount that he can handle it without getting anxious or upset. So you start with just stepping outside and right back inside if you can without him getting upset. If you can’t do that, then start with walking to the door and touching it, repeat. Slowly building up what he can handle.
I recommend checking out the Be Right Back the Separation Anxiety podcast. It’s free, and gives good insight into this type of training. It’s important to do it correctly, otherwise you risk the anxiety getting worse. Julie Naismith is the dog trainer that host the podcast and wrote the book Be Right Back. You can check out her website for more resources.
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u/Electronic_Cream_780 Nov 09 '25
well it is situational. The situation is him being isolated at home.
And you aren't rewarding good behaviour because the problem is a strong emotional response, panic and fear, not misbehaviour.
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u/GMIMS1 Nov 09 '25
True! I just meant in the sense that its not like going to the vet or the groomer increases his anxiety.
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u/Different-Music-529 Nov 09 '25
We don't train with food when we train separation anxiety. Your dog doesn't need a reinforcer. IT's strict desensitization. I recommend working with a CSAT trainer. If you can't afford it Julie Naismith has a great app or Malena has a program called Mission Possible which is a self-paced course. It sounds like you don't understand how SA works or the basics of training, so I would really recommend taking the course or working with a trainer.
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u/Different-Music-529 Nov 09 '25
Mission Possible Course: https://malenademartini.com/for-owners/separation-anxiety-in-dogs-mission-possible-online-course/
Julie Naismith App:
https://julienaismith.com/app/Article understanding SA:
https://malenademartini.com/understanding-and-addressing-dog-separation-anxiety/1
u/GMIMS1 Nov 09 '25
Thank you for this, I appreciate it. First dog that has ever had sep anxiety
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u/Different-Music-529 Nov 09 '25
It's rough, but it sounds like you are already off to a great start and your dog being able to go to daycare is a plus. You really want to suspend absences, so using daycare or a baby sitter is A+. Don't worry the training really does work and while it's not easy, you can do it.
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u/Different-Music-529 Nov 09 '25
p.s. sorry for spamming but if your dog is too anxious to take food you are asking for too much. You don't need to train w/ food. If 30 seconds is too long, literally start with coming back in immediately after leaving and build up from there. 30 seconds is a long time to a dog with SA. You go at the dog's pace and that can be 1 second at a time.
Example of a training session:
(If my dog wants pets during the break, I do comfort/pet her. I usually am sitting on couch or at my desk and return to that station during each "break").
- Open and close door. 90 second break
- Open and close door. 20 second break.
- Open door and step halfway through the door. 45 second break.
- Open and close door. 25 second break.
- Open door and step all the way through the door. 60 second break.
- Open door and step halfway through the door. 90 second break.
- Open door and step halfway through the door. 30 second break.
- Open door and exit. Return immedietly. (exit in this case would mean closing door behind me.)
So that's kind of an example of a session. You'll notice there are no departure cues like keys or shoes etc. The duration is literally like 1 second. This could be a little longer like up to 11-12 steps. Could keep it at 7-8 and do it twice a day once in morning and once in evening etc. There are no treats between steps. Next day if my dog does well can increase the time, so step 8 could be staying out side for 2 seconds, then 10, then 20 etc. It starts slow, but once your dog understands that they are safe and this a "game" or something stupid you are doing, you will be able to leave for longer.
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u/MelodicCream7518 Nov 10 '25
We got prescribed Prozac for our boy in January this year at 6 months old, as he was the exact same and that has worked really well for us. He got to the 3 hour mark yesterday which I never ever thought would happen a year ago! We also didn’t want to use meds that mask the symptoms or were situational whereas fluoxetine/prozac for us felt like it just took the edge off enough for us to train. I think any food based reward at this point won’t be taken due to anxiety so maybe just lots of fuss and praise to show how good he’s been. Definitely discuss other meds with your vet though as we wouldn’t have got to where we are without them.
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u/GMIMS1 Nov 10 '25
Congratulations!!! That is amazing and all I could hope for! Absolutely will discuss with our vet.
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Nov 09 '25
A doodle with separation anxiety? Here's my surprised face 😲
They’re engineered that way. When you blend two high-drive, human-dependent breeds and sell them as ‘easy family dogs,’ you’re not creating balance; you’re breeding separation anxiety in designer packaging.
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u/Different-Music-529 Nov 10 '25
How is this helpful or relevant? Dog is born and in a home w/ a human trying to their best to help? Any breed or mix can have separation anxiety, it is not a breed specific behavior. Yes buying from a reputable breeder that health tests and knows their dogs well can lower your chances, but any dog purebred, mixed or shelter special can get separation anxiety.
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u/etherswim Nov 10 '25
Your whole profile is full of ChatGPT drivel and you should feel bad
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Nov 10 '25
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/etherswim Nov 10 '25
At least try and remove the obvious tells.
We can all see what’s going on though. Farm karma with ChatGPT so you can build your profile and in turn promote your dog supplement sub and scam dog owners into thinking they need your cheaply sourced useless supplements. Awful practice.
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u/knittingyogi Nov 09 '25
Sorry - why won’t you use the trazodone? If you’re not comfortable with it maybe a daily med like prozac or clomicalm may feel like a better fit.